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A-Mart

Who: Markdown, Raindance, Moonracer, Chimera, Soundwave, Blaster, Powerglide, Catechism, Foxfire, Bumblebee, Vortex, Frenzy, Nightbeat
IC Year: 2029
Location: San Francisco
TP: Human Nature

None


Summary: Markdown opens his new retail chain, but will the premiere be spoiled by the humanized Autobots and Decepticons? Behold as formerly giant robots demonstrate that they have no idea how to act human!

<Autobot> Markdown says, "Hey, fellow Autobots! It's Mark, here. I'm about to open my new store, and you're all invited!"


Uptown San Francisco

This part of San Francisco is one of the few areas left mostly untouched by the weather of the last decade. The steep, curving roads are still lined with beautiful old houses, some of them almost a century old. Flower pots grace the roadsides and are cultivated meticulously. Some of the streets even show the old brick roads underneath. Occasionally, you see one of the famous cable cars pass you down the streets, and people hop on and off of them at random. Fisherman's Wharf is visible in the distance, and people will give you directions to Lombard Street if you ask. The scent of the flowers mingles with the smell of fresh-baked sourdough and the slight fish scent from the Wharf. A weathered old man passes you with a fruit cart. It's covered with fresh strawberries, oranges, bananas, and other tasty items.


Contents: Nightbeat Bumblebee Vortex Astrotrain Soundwave


Vincent Ortex chuckles. "Vinny." he says, not giving a last name. "Yeah it seems the higher the thing you jump off, the more people will pay you to do it. You know I was offered 500 dollars to jump off the Golden Gate bridge wearing a cord? It'll help me save up for my lisence."


"People do the strangest things nowadays. Yesterday I got this one man, all about screaming about how american he is and how he is so great in america. Odd fellow." The driver says as he drives along the street.


Vincent Ortex grunts. "Oh yeah. I saw him. With those guys trying to set fire to squishy helmets. You know? I thought this was weird at first but I think Im startin' to like it."

"What do you was weird at first? What was weird?" The driver asks as he rounds the corner for 56th street.


Tricked-Out Taxicab <Nightbeat> is forced to go around picking ordinary tourists in order to maintain his 'cover'...his holographic driver learns more about sailing, Thai food and the latest James Bond movie than Nightbeat ever, ever wanted to know.


<Earth> TV Commercial says, "Looking for the best prices for clothing, food, toys, hunting supplies, and just about anything else you'd ever want? Then come down to A-Mart! Our prices are LOWER than Wal-Mart's, and not a single one of our products was made in China!" Mark Dowell appears in the commercial smiling. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to open this retail chain to serve you, the American consumer. I'm so happy about it, that for our opening day, all prices will be twenty percent off! So head on over to a store near YOU and take advantage of some great deals!"


Catechism has arrived.


Vincent Ortex chuckles. "Long story." He says to the driver. "I've always been a thrillseeker. We live on the edge. Humans have to names don't they?"


Catechism

Cathrin Sturm is outfitted as a German infantryman, complete with Pickelhaube (pointy hat). She has steely grey hair that might have been black at some point and reddish brown eyes. Her skin is ashen and grey, though she seems lively enough. Her facial structure is harsh and gaunt, angular one might say. Cathrin is built tall and athletic, perhaps even a bit imposing. (The outfit looks something like this: http://www.worldwar1.com/photos/gph002.jpg )


Mark Dowell is currently standing before his HUGE A-Mart store, waving and smiling at customers coming in and out of the store. The parking lot is pretty big, too, but the sheer number of customers here is taxing its capacity to the limits. "I hope the other Autobots can make it here," he mutters to himself. And maybe some Decepticons can visit the store, too!


"Of course we have two names...Your a human too pal, atleast not some giant robot trying to trash everything." The driver says as he drives slowly along the street. "Alright, 56th street."


Vincent Ortex chuckles. "Sure am. What's the fare?" He says as he prepares to get out of the car. He digs in his pocket for a lump of money. In his line of work, he gets paid in cash. "Guess I should give ya a last name too. Vinnie. Ortex." he snickers.


"Fair is $10.50" The driver says as he watches the man get out of the car. "Well Vinnie Ortex, if you need a ride, give a wave." He says with a smile.


<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "This one says he is Vinnie Ortex"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Think it is who I think it is?"


Vincent Ortex pauses. "Twn dollars. Fifty cents." He pulls out two tens. "Keep the change." he thinks he did a good job with this transaction and leaves the cab.


Tricked-Out Taxicab <Nightbeat> finally gets a fare who wants to be taken to the newly opened A-Mart store. He drops the lady off, makes his holographic driver toss a quick wink to Mark, and then pulls over to one side on the street next to the store. Someone walking down the street tries to hop in, but at that precise moment the taxi's sign clicks to 'OUT OF SERVICE'.


Cathrin Sturm collects buckets. It's a weird hobby for a Decepticon or for a 1905 German infantryman, but, uhm, er... if anyone asks, she's going to a re-enactment. This A-Mart place is sure to have some buckets for sale! She'll be able to increase the size of her collection, yeess. Oh yeah, she might pick up some more normal-looking clothes, too.


<Autobot> Nightbeat says, "Markdown, you've got the right idea with your store. People in this town don't tip worth beans."


Vincent Ortex walks down the street towards the A-Mart. Convienient for the store to be near where he's going. I guess that's why it's called a convenience store. He checks his money. "Yeah maybe I need to pick up some crackers before work." he says sto himself. He alomst literlaly skipps for the store.


<Autobot> Markdown says, "Hm? Offering low-cost products, you mean?"


Mark Dowell waves first at Cathrin Sturm, then at Vincent Ortex as they approach his store. "Hello, hello! Welcome to A-Mart! Whatever you're looking for, I can guarantee you'll find it here!" He smiles broadly. "And I'm totally serious. Doesn't matter what it was, so long as it's legal. It'll be in there!"

Avalanche has arrived.


Cathrin Sturm gets right down to business, straight off the bat. She inquires, with a slightly Prussian accent, "Where is it that the buckets are kept?" Why should she waste her time trying to hunt down her prey when there is this seemingly helpful person there saying that they have everything?


Frenzy has connected.


Mark Dowell looks quizzically at Cathrin Sturm. Is she dressed up for Halloween or something? Because that's several months down the road... "Ahhh... yes, buckets! We have plenty of those, yes we do. You'll be able to find them in the bathroom section, aisle 78. Go ahead and talk to one of our friendly employees if you need further assistance!"


Vincent Ortex smiles at Mark Dowell. "Hey." he pauses. "Anything you say?" He leans in closer. "Do you have anything sharp and metal?" he snickers. "Cause I could so use something like that. And Crackers."


<Autobot> Nightbeat says, "Um...no, just going into retail. Beats the service sector any day."


Avalanche vanishes out of reality.

Avalanche has left.


Mark Dowell addresses Vincent Ortex. "Uh... sharp and metal?" He frowns. "Well, we have plenty of hunting knives, as well as a wide variety of industrial knives. You name it? We got it. As for the crackers...." He smirks. "You'll easily find that in aisle 4, the Snacks section."


Vincent Ortex smiles. "Knives.." he chuckles. "Thanks!" He skips into the store. "Is there anything the humans don't have that's perfect?!"


Cathrin Sturm doesn't even know what Halloween is. The whole re-enactment story is pretty clever, for her! She had to use google to even do that much. She resists the urge to snap off a salute and instead says, "Thank you," heading off toward aisle 78. That means those numbers hanging from the ceiling, yes?


Vincent Ortex stares up at the ceiling trying to read the aisle numbers "Four..four four.." he makes a beeline towards Cathrin as he goes in his blind direction.


Uhoh! Mark Dowell didn't tell Vincent in what aisle the knives would be in! But anyway, he nods and smiles to both of his customers as they enter the store. "Have fun!"


The interior of the store... oh my God. Humans EVERYWHERE! Young, old, skinny, morbidly obese, and way, way too many screaming kids. The red-shirted employees look really burned out trying to keep everything under control.


Cathrin Sturm has a hat with a sharp spike up top. She's already injured herself on it by accident. There's a nasty scab on one of her hands from where she tried to rub her helmet in confusion, only to accidentally impale herself. In short, she is something of a walking hazard. She also doesn't see Vinnie behind her, too focused on her goal of aisle 78.


<OOC> Nightbeat has to take off for a bit, see you guys soon!


Nightbeat has disconnected.


<Autobot> Markdown says, "Huh... got some very odd customers here..."


Vincent Ortex continues his walk towards Aisle four. He bumps straight into the human with the helmet. "Woah watch where Im walking you.." He stares at the helmet. "Nice.."


Mark Dowell thinks for a moment, frowns, then decides to walk into his own store. Maybe he should keep an eye on those two? Something was very odd about them.


Cathrin Sturm looks over her shoulder at the fairly non-descript fellow who bumped into her. Her eyes narrow and her eyebrows furrow, and she's about to protest that he bumpe dinto her, not the other way around, but then, he compliments her hat. Well, that's all right, then. She smiles widely and grins, "It is a Pickelhaube. It's a good helmet, ja?"


Mark Dowell follows the two odd humans a bit, and glances over at an employee. "Ah, you, Sam, is it? Why don't you help those two find what they want?" "Uh, yes sir!" Sam says, and he shuffles over to the two human-cons. "You, uh, need help with anything?" Poor Sam seems a bit shocked by Cathrin's dress, to say the least.


Cathrin Sturm looks to Sam, trying to radiate, 'What? This is totally normal. Honest!' She wiggles the fingers on one hand, the scabbed-over hand, and insists, "Ah, just looking for the buckets, you see, They are in aisle 78."


Sam smiles awkwardly. "Oh, sure. Uh... You were walking the wrong way, but, um, that's alright, it's over this way." He jerks a thumb over his shoulder, and walks off to the aisle.


Cathrin Sturm looks over the way he is pointing. Oh. 78 is over there. Blasted inferior human numbering systems! She matches his awkward smile with an even more awkward smile and mutters, "Thank you."


Once they reach the aisle, it seems that most, if not all, of the buckets are... plastic. "So, ah, here you are! All the buckets in the store. They're right here. Yep." Sam said that. Obviously.


Plastic buckets are totally okay in Cathrin's book. However, she goes to check out the metal buckets first. They're a wee bit more durable, and she just assumes that this human business will get fixed somehow. Scrapper can do it.


Nightbeat has connected.


There's like, one metal bucket type. All the rest of them--and there are DOZENS--are plastic. And the metal one looks like it would be a bit big to fit on your head (if that is in fact Cathrin's nefarious purpose).


Cathrin Sturms nefarious purpose is to collect buckets. Some people collect toys. She collects buckets. Even Decepticons are allowed to have weird, weird hobbies! She taps on the bucket and inspects it, finally checking the price. Swiss bank accounts only have so much in them, after all...


Five bucks. So, unless there's virtually nothing in that Swiss bank account, then, yeah, Cathrin should be able to EASILY afford the bucket.


Victory is hers! Cathrin hoists the bucket high and tromps off to maybe find some clothes, which are clearly not as improtant as the bucket.


Sam follows along, rubbing his hands nervously. "So, ah, need help finding anything else? Food? Medicine? Diapers?"


Cathrin Sturm looks over her shoulder, eyes narrowed. Gee, this Sam fellow sure is helpful, isn't he? Perhaps too helpful. She replies simply, brusquely, "Clothes." She adds, after a beat, "Heard that all the latest fashions are in."


Sam gulps at the look he gets. "Um, yeah, lots of women's clothing. Things like..." He stares at a rack of jeans. "Uh, pants. Wait..." He frowns. "Oh, those are men's jeans. Sorry, I didn't mean to imply--er, just trying to, you know..." The poor guy grasps for words.


Cathrin Sturm is tall and rather imposing, definitely athletic. That German infantryman uniform fits her better than it really should. She puts the hand not clutching the bucket on her hip and regards Sam down her nose. Cathrin clarifies, "I am shopping for myself." Dangi, even Ultra Magnus got her gender wrong, back when she was a robot. Why is it so hard to figure out? Did she need to stamp FEMALE on one of her wings?


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "I miss being a fox..."


Sam sputters, "Umumum, ok. Well, we have, uh, a new line of push-up bras and lingerie and..." His face turns beet-red. "I mean, uh, well, not that I know anything about women's underwear. Well, I do, I just don't wear it, is all."


Cathrin Sturm corrects, "Clothing. Not under-clothing." She scans the clothing area, perhaps looking for a t-shirt with a sarcastic quote on it.


Ah, there's one. It says, "Well, at least I'm smarter than a Decepticon!" And there's a little print of a cartoonized Blot picking his nose.


Cathrin Sturm scowls meaningfully at the shirt and tries to find a different sarcastic shirt. Or maybe she should just head to the hunting aisle and deck herself out in camo. The next one says, "I'm with stupid," and there's an arrow on it pointing off to the right. A good way to belittle your partner, it is.


Cathrin Sturm totally needs a Decepticonz! t-shirt. No one would ever expect an actual Decepticon to wear one. It's one of those things where the Decepticon in question would have to be too stupid to live in order to even try such a thing. But there aren't any of those here. How tragic! Maybe there's a Grimlock for President shirt?


Oh, yeah. Tons of them. The kids love them. However, Grimlock is rarely represented realistically, but as a cartoony caricature (much like Blot). There is one badass one of Grimlock running a Seeker through with his sword, with the letters, "VOTE ME GRIMLOCK OR DIE!" on the front and back, but, ah, Cathrin might not want that one. That seeker's coloration looks suspiciously similar to Catechism's, anyway...


Cathrin Sturm pauses at the shirt with the impaled Seeker that could be... well, either her, Dirge, or Ramjet. She's sort of an average of Ramjet and Dirge as far as looks go. She frowns as she looks at the shirt, but after a moment, she starts to flip through the sizes, holding up likely shirts to see if one might fit. It's not the most flattering picture, but... look! She's on a shirt! Or Ramjet or Dirge is. Probably them. Eh.


Sam Waverly comes strolling down the street near the store, looking at a PDA as he walks.


Well, the Seeker on the shirt does look more male than female (though with robots it's hard to tell, for obvious reasons). "I... guess you'll need some pants now?" Sam offers, blinking.


Lots of people are going in and out of the store. Advertising put up everywhere promises you'll be able to find whatever you want, and at an absurdly low cost. How did Mark Dowell do it?...


Tricked-Out Taxicab <Nightbeat>, parked across the street where he can scope out the entrance and look through the front windows, is starting to wonder exactly the same thing...


Frenzy has arrived.


Rampage has connected.


<OOC> Catechism says, "This is Catechism: http://transformers2005.wikia.com/wiki/Image:Catechism.jpg Ultra Magnus made an honest mistake."


Sam Waverly pauses in front of the windows of Mark's store. He frowns, and having very little else to do with his newfound time, decides to walk in and see what the great appeal is for going into these places.


Cathrin Sturm protests, 'You can't get just one shirt!" Then you have to do this mysterious 'laundry' thing every day, and that sounds like a pain. Sam Waverly stands in the entrance area, peering around the store. What a useless collection of junk.


Sam nods a little too rapidly. "Yeah yeah, oh sure. Um. I like this one?" He points at a pink T-Shirt with a Gundam on it. Sadly, in this world the Gundam franchise is not quite as popular due to the existence of real giant robots.

The other Sam, the Waverly one, might notice the hunting supplies section. Useful for getting guns. To... hunt. Yes.


Cathrin Sturm puts her hands up in the air - so yes, the bucket and the Grimlock shirt go waving through the air. "That thing doesn't look like it can even transform! And it looks like someone got energon all over it." Instead, she goes to look at a shirt that is glittery and purple, because everyone knows that Decepticons love purple.


In addition to being glittery and purple, and it has a sparkly pony on it, and it's the gosh darndest cutest pony you've ever seen.


Sam Waverly would just build some sort of 'space laser' if he really needed to kill someone, so does what any self-respecting giant-robot-turned-human would do in a megamart. That is, go to the toy section and see what horrible violations of his likeness and intellectual property rights have been made.


As if on cue, Flann Saxon makes his entrance into the store -- arms first. Both of 'em, spread like a wingspan, fingers wiggling as he makes his way inside. "Mechanoreceptors," he murmurs to himself, completely amazed at the suite of sensations his meat physiology brings him. "So brilliant! Mmm!" Dressed in another fab outfit, this time a white suit with black shirt and blue tie. Who knew being totally off your microprocessing rocker could be so stylish? "Ah!" Flann exclaims quite properly as he straightens up inside the store, raising his hands up to adjust his tie for a moment before setting his mirrorshaded sights on the gun display.


Perhaps the pony can be trained as a WARHORSE for combat. With, like, spiked armour and stuff. Ex-Seekers shouldn't be allowed to t-shirt shop, really. Cathrin snags a sparkly purple pony t-shirt in her size. Then she goes off in search of pants, but she might just get lost in the process. The wilds of the A-Marts are dangerous and confusing!


Sam Waverly stands in the middle of an aisle of sunscreen and shampoo. These don't look like toys..


There are pants of all sizes, in just about any color you want. This includes purple, pink, lavender, and red. And also normal colors you'd expect. Some of them are "pre-torn" with, er, some interesting tear locations on them. Let's just say they're not the kind of pants most DECENT people would wear in public. Fortunately, there are plenty of decent pants here.


The gun racks are formidable. You want shotguns? They got shotguns. Civilian-model assault rifles? Yep. Dinky little pistols? Sure, they even have those.

As for Sam Waverly, a person in a red shirt approaches him and asks, "You need any help, sir?"


Cathrin Sturm totally needs 7 pairs of decent purple pants. Oh, and a pair or two of grey and black. If Sam the A-Mart Guy is still following her around like a heat-seeking missile, she comments, "Some of these pants are broken. Might want to see about having a repair guy fix them."


Sir? Sam Waverly has been called sir before, usually by some loyal soldier. He looks over at the sales rep and frowns, waving a hand in a shooing motion. He moves away from the skin and hair-care aisle and stalks off toward the other end of the store.


"Oh, lookit this shooty..." Flann murmurs to himself as he appraises the gun selection. "Or that shooty?" He asks as he switches his attention over to another. So coincidental, that human beings sell guns in the exact same place that meat-Autobots have been showing up. Now, Frenzy has never been much for religion. In fact, he's preferred to shoot everyone and let Primus figure out which'n is kin and which'n belongs to another pantheon. However, even he, of limited intellect but grandiose creativity, must wonder if there is some kind of divine plan laid out for him. One hell of a blood-soaked Dan, maybe. As his eyes run over the rigid planes of a shotgun, meat!Frenzy cannot help but wonder yet again where meat!Autobots go when they meat!die. Hopefully this isn't some kind of cruel joke at his expense, where once he's annihilated every single big suck loser in the universe, they all pop out of a curtain in proper mechanical physiques and shout something about this being your life. "Oh shopkeep!! Shopkeep!!"


Chimera has connected.


Sam 2 blinks at Cathrin. "Broken? Oh, those ones are SUPPOSED to be, er, broken. Makes them look rugged, and cool." He shrugs. "Well, I suppose they do. We also have pre-worn, and bleached, and carpenter's jeans..."

The employee accosting Sam Waverly looks surprised at the hostile reaction, then shrugs and walks away. "What a jerk," he mumbles under his breath.

An employee rushes over to Frenzy, unaware of his inner philosophical ramblings. "How may I help you, sir?" says the attractive Asian female employee.


"Yes!" Flann exclaims quite cheerily as he stuffs his inner monologue into a sack and beats it thoroughly. "So, I have to say, I'm -extremely- curious and.. you'll completely have to forgive me for being so wonderfully foreign in this regard.. BUT.." Flann pops one of those wide, toothy grins at the attractive gyno-Asian employee. ".. can I get a fully-automatic? Not entirely sure if it's a legal thing to be owning something fully automatic in America. It is in Belfast, you see. Well, along with getting balaclavas and C4 explosive for Christmas, but that is another adventure altogether!"


Sam Waverly gets lost again and emerges from the baby aisle, looking horribly confused.


Cathrin Sturm waves a hand (and a bucket) dismissively. "If people want broken pants, they can just get into fights." She snatches up some purple, black, and grey pants, slinging them over her shoulder. It's weird to not have an air intake getting in the way. Since she doesn't have subspace, she ought to look into storage device of some sort, like... a back-pack!


Sam Waverly was just getting to the school supplies. Calculators (of the FUTURE!) and pens and pencils and backpacks and things. He tilts his head, contemplating an increased storage capacity.


The attractive Asian looks surprised for a moment, then says, "Uh, fully automatic? Well, no. We have semi-automatic rifles and pistols, but nothing FULLY automatic." She smiles. "Everything here just fires one shot at a time. As for C4, er, we don't really sell that here. The balaclavas, though? Right over there." She points at another aisle.

"Sir? Do you need help?" another employee says helpfully, noting Sam Waverly's confusion.

"Do you need a shopping cart or something?" Sam 2 asks Cathrin. "I could get you one, since you seem to be having trouble carrying that."


Flann Saxon thinks for a moment. "Mm.. well I guess we can start at pistols. But tell me, have you anything that makes a creature just want to wish it were never born by its creator? Oh, you know, something that puts the total fear of the great beyond in them?" He asks this so frankly, like it were nothing. "..Oh! You know. Hunting expedition. Big, nasty animals. Turboanimals. Imported from Nebulos, I think. Awful creatures, really."


Razorclaw has arrived.


Cathrin Sturm grouses, "It's not like it's heavy or anything. It's just a polyester-cotton blend and a bucket. It's not like delepeted uranium shells." Oh hey, there's a glittery purple backpack with another one of those ponies on it. Maybe she should get that one.


Tantrum has arrived. Sam Waverly pokes at one of the backpacks, right next to the one Cathrin is looking at. For some reason, he doesn't seem surprised by the WWI uniform. Either that, or he doesn't know he's supposed to think it's strange.


Sam 2 blinks. "Uh... uh... yeah, we don't have a lot of depleted uranium shells. Are you... in the military?" He asks, because it seems so obvious, and yet... wrong. Sam 2 notices Sam Waverly but doesn't say anything to him. He's had a rough day with customers so far.


Cathrin Sturm flashes a disconcerting smile at Sam 2 and replies, "Air Force. This," she plucks at her German uniform, "is just re-enactment garb. Lots of fun. Muddy." She looks over at Waverly for a moment, thinking he looks a bit familiar, but then, she dismisses it. Humans all look squishy and weird.


Hot Asian says, "Um, well, there's lot of hunting rifles here?... But, I don't think you'll find a lot to hunt giant aliens from space, sir." Her look of disbelief suggests she can't believe she just said that.


Sam Waverly is, in fact, the guy that broke Ultra Magnus' nose in the crashed ship. But that was a hectic day. He pulls a blue backpack off the shelf and opens it, sticking his head fully inside.


"Mmm.. pity." Flann makes a sort of sour face that is actually quite hysterical. You see, for when he is trying to look mad, he still looks rather funny. His face is all squinted up, at this very moment. Pale skin flushes red with the squintiness of it and the sensation of heat that triggers along his skin makes him elated. "Woooh! That was wonderful. Well. Brilliant, really." He leans over to the asian girl and loops his arm around her. "What's your biggest rifle here? Semi-automatic. Tri-automatic. Double-action pump-release with side-loading cartridge. Whatever. I need something big. Something flashy. Maybe something chrome-plated! Oh that would be wonderful! Oh and how are you for grapes?"


"Oohhhhh!" Sam 2 says. And he thought she was INSANE! Hahaha, good thing that didn't turn out to be true! "So... you have fun... re-enacting?" he says, watching as Cathrin rifles through pony-esqe backpacks.

The blue packpack Sam Waverly is looking at has a print of *Ultra Magnus* on it, believe it or not. The inside of the backpack is, well, what a normal human would expect. Waverly will probably note that "new clothing" smell from inside the pack, though.


Kim Mira can get what she needs just about anywhere, so why is she walking down this particular street, and into this particular store? The answer is simple. Where else can you find hair gel, duct tape and chocolate all in one place?


Hot Asian looks a bit mortified as Flann wraps an arm around her. "I, sir?--Well, ok! We do have the new X700 sniper rifle! It's based on a .50 caliber sniper rifle from the Army, but the civilian version is downgraded to a .48 caliber. Which will still kill an elephant, hahaha." She looks apprehensive. "Uh... it's not chrome-plated, though. That would make the hunter too easy to detect."


Sam Waverly takes the bag off his head and tosses it back on the shelf. He turns to Sam 2 and starts signing at him. Ah, sign language.


Sam 2 STARES at Sam Waverly. He looks to the left, then the right, then nods verrrrrry slowly. "Yessss... I see...." he says, lying.


Cathrin Sturm could well be INSANE. Aside from the whole 'part of an evil empire that wants to take over the universe', she's part of a gestalt that can no longer combine and has a severely destablized laser core as a result of various weird things she's done, such as getting dissolved in acid. But she's the kind of crazy that at least does a bit of fact checking before wandering around in public. "Uh huh. Just have a little bit of time during leave, and it's back to work." See? Totally why she needs to buy some new civvie gear. Her old stuff is out of date and a girl simply must be the height of fashion. Okay, the pony backpack will do.


Sam Waverly lets out an impatient sigh, and reaches into his pocket to pull out a glove, which he slides on his right hand. He repeats his gestures, and a computerized voice plays from a speaker somewhere in his coat. "Do you have any of these without giant idiot printed on them?"


Sam 2, glad to communicate in a language he can understand, replies to Cathrin, "Oh, that's cool. I see that you like ponies. I uh, I think they're cool, too. I guess. I like cats better." Then, Sam 2 jumps, startled at the odd mechanical voice. "AHH! Um... Giant idiot?" The associate leans over and stares at the backpack. "Oh, that's Ultra Magnus! I think he's awesome! Wait... did you mean HE'S the giant idiot?" Sam 2 seems shocked at that.


Cathrin Sturm holds up a pony backpack to Waverly and points out, "This one doesn't."


"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...." Flann begins to hum in consideration. His fingers slide along the air, wiggling away as he considers. "Sniper rifle's a bit snipery, yanno m'love? Too much time, standing there, preparing the shot. Too much patience. I've always been more of a point-and-fire kind of guy. Maybe wave it around. Spray other things. Try not to get your shoes messy but there's always just a bit of splatter-back, isn't there? Oh the sheer impracticalities of being a point-and-fire kind of guy! Well.. let's compromise, at least. How about something with a laser-targetty-pinpointery do-jiggery?"


Sam Waverly repeats, "Giant idiot." He looks at Cathrin funny. "No equines. No images necessary."


Hot Asian grimaces, and wiggles out of Flann's grasp, happy to be free. "I, yes, you want something with a laser sight? Well..." She hustles over to a display of a rather heavy looking pistol. The thing is HUGE, and has some sort of attachment below the barrel. "That is the Darkclaw .45 caliber pistol, with built-in laser sight. The company promises that you will only need to fire this gun at an assailant once, or your money back."


Cathrin Sturm again waves a hand dismissvely, "Oh no. I don't like equines. I just like purple. It's a very.... imperial colour." And okay, glitter. She's used to metallics, okay? She argues, "You ought to have specified no images first."


"Oh!" Flann's thin lips form into such an expressive O shape. He becomes flush at the sheer sight of it. "This isn't loaded, right? Just want to give it a quick test drive.. you know, feel its weight in my hand. See how it points. That kind of thing."


Sam Waverly frowns and waves his hands. "Prefer blue."


Hot Asian frowns, not sure if she should grant his request. Something seems odd about this guy. REALLY odd. Still, if the gun is locked, what could be the harm? She takes the gun out of the display, and after putting something in the barrel, hands it to Flann. "That's a barrel-lock. If you were to try to fire a bullet with that attached, the firing chamber would explode, probably injuring you," she explains.

Sam 2 points a different rack of backpacks. "Uh... those ones are plain, I guess? They don't cost as much, either."


Kim Mira browses. Who couldn't use a set of socks with cats on them? Or koala underpants? Or bobby pins that have froopy colored swatches of hair on them?


Sam Waverly smiles unpleasantly. His hands spell out, and the voice speaks, "Good, because I have no currency."


Mark Dowell meanwhile lurks in a security room, and watches his employee talking to the human-cons via CCTV, frowning to himself. On another camera, he observes as an employee moves to intercept Kim Mira.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" the employee asks her.


"Well, it isn't even loaded, right?" Flann asks with a grin. "So it isn't like we'd have to worry... ooooh!" He squeals in delight as he feels the heft of the gun in his hand. Giving it a few wags of his wrist, he then laughs happily, "There's the inflated sense of self worth! Paaaaaaaaardon me.." He turns around and raises the pistol into the air, turning it on its side and letting its laser-pinpoint befall various targets. A can of tomato sauce. A mannequin. A box of cereal. Sam Waverly's head... Cathrin Sturm decides that perhaps she might want to get away from the weirdness. At least the weirdness that isn't in the mirror. Slowly, slowly, she starts to back away.


Hot Asian winces as she watches Flann. "Sir... sir? Please don't point the laser sight at people. It may damage their vision. But, um, do you like the weapon?"

Elsewhere, Sam 2 says, "Huh? You don't have any money? Well, you won't be able to buy anything, then." As Cathrin wanders off, Sam 2 ulps, and hustles after her. "Oh, uh, are you done shopping, ma'am?"


Kim Mira is distracted from a row of frilly pink panties, and slingshots that match. "I'm looking for something in green, but with a little more fabric." Why green? Why not. "And something to change the color of my hair. I'm tired of this one."


Sam Waverly shrugs, having been left alone in the aisle. He drops a couple TI-2018 calculators, several packs of pens, and legal pads into a plain blue backpack.


The employee tells Kim, "Well, we have hair dye down in the personal hygiene aisle. We also have some bleach, but I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for."


"Pew!" Flann murmurs to himself and himself alone as he fantasizes blowing Sam Waverly's head off. "Mmm?" He then blinks under his mirrorshades, as the sales girl catches his ear. Spinning around, he lays the pistol on the counter and says, "Yes! Oh yes! I do! Do you do giftwrapping?"


Cathrin Sturm nodsnods, "Uhm, yeah. Going to pay now." Swiss bank account powers, engage!


Sam Waverly takes his stuff up toward the front.


Hot Asian says, blinking hard, "Um, yes, but only during the Holiday season, sir. We... do have gift boxes and gift wrapping, though!" She smiles nervously.

Sam 2 says, looking a bit dejected. "Oh, ok." He stands there, watching silently as she leaves. In his young mind, he tries to comprehend just what happened there.


Kim Mira tilts her head to one side, then the other. Her hair is black. Bleach would take care of that, though someone might need to tell her that. "Which will change it fastest?" she asks. "And something to cut with. A knife?"


"Well!" Flann Saxon shrugs easily. "If it isn't the holiday, then. Do you at least have some kind of attractive tote to put it in?"


Flann Saxon briefly wonders if Starscream ever had this much fun being this smooth. Totally.


The employee shrugs. "Um... well, I suppose the dye or bleach would work instantly or close to it. But with the bleach, the change would be much longer-lasting, ma'am. I guess." He looks puzzled. Shouldn't she already know this? "Oh, and we have scissors, there, too."

The Hot Asian shrugs for a moment, then says, "Well... we sell attractive totes. But you'd have to buy those, too. Otherwise, we have our standard plastic bags."

Meanwhile, the checkout lanes are pretty full. The self-checkout lanes look open, though.


Powerglide has connected.


Nightbeat has arrived.


"Throw it on, darling!" Flann Saxon says with a wave of his hand. "Couple clips and some rounds would be lovely as well."


Sam Waverly moves up to the self-checkout. This looks fun. He starts scanning things on the platform. Several of them two or three times!


Blaster has connected.


Sam Waverly's attempts to screw with the system are thwarted when the computer demands that each item be placed in a bag. If it is then removed, then the computer will demand that they be placed back.

Hot Asian smiles, and shakes her head. "Well, unfortunately, due to the way gun control laws work we can't just sell you the gun. You have to pass a criminal background check, and that will take at least a week. After that, though? You're good to go, and you can buy all the ammo you want."


Kim Mira should know about scissors after the time she got gum stuck in her hair at Edward Bryant's house, but it must have slipped her mind. "That will work. Show me where they are please." The outfit? will wait. But considering that she's got some plastic on her, she can afford to get that later.


Raindance has connected.


Sam Waverly taps on the machine, frowning, then carefully makes sure each item is scanned just once, and that the machine is not complaining. Then the darn thing starts complaining for 'money.' That just won't do. He taps a couple places around on the touch-screen. Hey, it has a menu system. Ooh, lookit, an ID number and a network address. Everything's so wired these days, in THE FUTURE! Sam pulls out his trusty modified PDA and starts hacking into the machine through the communications network.


Flann Saxon shrugs simply. "Yes, of course! Well, I have this lovely identification card that the studio furnished for me.. although they're still working on m'green card on account of me being all immigranted. Immigranty. Immigroonty. Well, you know. Here we are."


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Raindance..."


"Right this way, ma'am," the employee says, gesturing for her to follow him to the Personal Hygiene aisle. Once there, the selection is massive, bewildering, even. The advertisements didn't lie--this place puts Wal-Mart to shame.

"You're an immigrant?" Hot Asian says. "Uh, well, I think you have to be a citizen before you can buy a gun at all, sir." She frowns, not actually sure about that. They kinda rushed her through training and she missed some details.

The touch-screen flickers violently for a few moments as Sam Waverly hacks it, and then appears to revert to normal. But secretly, according to Waverly's PDA, it should be in his complete control.

Mark Dowell watches Sam Waverly on CCTV, and scowls. "What's he up to?..."


<Autobot> Raindance says, "Hello hello? Foxfire?"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "What you want, puny fox?"


Moonracer has connected.


"Nonsense!" Flann makes with a wave of his hand. "I'm on television. Very important. Here's m'identification and m'employer's card just in case. Go on and give my whole thing a lovely punchy-uppy on the system. I can wait."


<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "Me Pile-Up think him Grimlock need bigger teeth!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock have best teeths!"

<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "But what if you Grimlock have bestest teeths?"

Type, tap, hack. Sam associates some random credit card with the machine, making it think it's been scanned. Ooh, a cash back option. Cash sounds useful. $400 sounds like a good round number. *Ding*! The system starts printing out a receipt.


<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Is you Pile-Up dentist?"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Raindance, do you, by any chance, have something to do with Marissa's overdrawn VISA balance?"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "What's a Marissa?"

<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "Me Pile-Up is Super Dentist!"


Hot Asian looks skeptical, but takes the card, and brings over to her terminal. She types in some numbers from the card, then her eyes go wide. "Oh... wow. Uh, well, I guess this checks out after all, sir. I... guess you can purchase the gun after all?" And so Flann manages to buy his gun, making the world considerably less safe.


<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "Me Pile-Up think that him Grimlock should have teeths that bite through -four- Galvatrons before stopping, instead of three."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Marissa Faireborn. Colonel of the EDC. Her. Remember?"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "Anyway never mind that Foxfire, what is yarn?"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "What?"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock not think him Pile-Up should mess with me Grimlock teeths."

<Autobot> Raindance says, "And apparently I need to discover a dress code, what is that?"


Flann Saxon purchases his shooty and heads out!


<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Is code you put in video game to make video mans wear dress."


Boggling. Kim should be able to find everything she needs and more here. . . although some of the 'personal hygene products' are curiousities better left on the shelf. "Thank you. That is all I need." For now. Selecting one at random, Kim Mira wanders back towards the attire. Scissors forgotten for the moment.


The machine, at the mercy of an incredibly experienced hacker, obeys Sam Waverly's every command like a computerized zombie. But Mark Dowell, watching this, thinks something is up. "Uh, Bob?" He stares at a portly, yet beefy security guard. "Could you... intercept that fellow and bring him here?" Bob nods, his grizzled, scarred face looking grim.

Bob's a veteran of the Iraq War. No one knows how many kills he has, but it's believed to be over a hundred insurgents. And a quarter of them were from *his knife*.


"No problem, ma'am!" the employee tells Kim Mira.


<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "Me Pile-Up just want to see if Him Grimlock look good with extendable ener-chainsaws installed in him Grimlock teeth..."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Raindance...why are you an idiot?"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Chainsaws not good for teeths! Get all gummed up when me Grimlock bite things."

<Autobot> Sludge says, "Me Sludge say him Pile-Up shut the slag up before he end up Snarl's training drone!"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "Nnnn why are YOU Foxy?"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Why am I what?"

<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "That why me Pile-Up instal automatic cleaners in chain saws!"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "You can help me! Join me at this terrible shop I've found"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock say yo all idiots, 'cuz you not smarty like me Grimlock! Now stop arguing! That order from Me Grimlock!"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "If it ain;'t broke don'ty fix it. Wheeljack made them choppers, I doun't think there's much that can be improved."

<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "And me Pile-Up think him Sludge full of biryllium balogna"

Sam Waverly pockets his newfound cash, and slings his backpack o' purchases over his shoulder, heading for the door.

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "...Help you with what?"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "..Since when do you give orders?"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance walks into Markdown's shop clapping her hands. "Where is my Powerglide and Foxfire, you just can't get help around here anymore!"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "I need a dress code!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock in charge! Me Grimlock be Autobot leader, since him Rodimus in space, and him Magnus is puny human."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "You 'need' to stop being crazy."

<Autobot> Markdown says, "You aren't talking my store--wait, I see you. You ARE talking about my store. I put a lot of effort into this project, you know!"

<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "Me Pile-Up second him Grimlock! All Hail Optimus Grimlock!"

<Autobot> Spike Witwicky says, "Oh jesus."


"SIR!" Bob says, approaching Sam Waverly from the side. "Sir, can I speak to you for a minute?" Bob's voice is trying to sound polite, but it comes off a bit gruff. He isn't really smiling, either.


<Autobot> Grimlock corrects Spike: "No, Grimlock."


Sam Waverly pauses and stares at the man, like he was looking at an insect.


<Autobot> City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "My current anatomical state has no bearing on the matter, Grimlock.. And were I to waive my command until this 'condition' passed then that would place the title on the shoulders of Jazz.."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "I dont know Grimlock...Optimus Grimlock does has a nice ring to it...OF course we will have to get your colors changed."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "What about me? Can I not lead?"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "No Bumblebee it would be Grimlock Prime, thats how it works"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Bumblebee Prime!"

<Autobot> City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "..."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "But for a bit of serious good news, I found Americon and Rampage."

<Autobot> Impulse says, "So long as none of you mention Wheelie in this subject, I think we'll be just fine."


Bob, the very epitome of retired military bad-ass, walks up to Sam Waverly, his steely eyes locking on to the Deceptihuman's. "Sir, could you please come with me? We noticed something strange during your transaction."


<Autobot> Sludge says, "Me Grimlock just learn how to use radio.....but me always know how to use fists! Me smack Pile-up with Dinobot Pimp Hand when he see him next!"

<Autobot> City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Status, Bumblebee?"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Hnf! You Magnus must be dumb from squishy human brain. You too SMALL to lead Autobots!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "When 'cons show up, we no can follow tiny hoo-man. Autobots need STRONG leader. Me Grimlock strongest!"

<Autobot> Impulse says, "... Sludge, did you just call yourself Grimlock?"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "At the moment I am en route to Markdown's new store but I can come and see you and give you my report directly."

Sam Waverly blinks a couple of times, and starts signing at the man. This time with his fancy ASL-to-speech device turned off.


Powell Glyde ,upon hearing his name, emerges from the dumpster sitting behind the store. Next to it is his cardboard box/house/mattress/gymnasium, which he unintentionally crushes in his mad rush to get to where he was called from. Maybe that person wanted something important? Oh, no, it was just that jerk, Raindance. "Oh. You. What do YOU want?" His nose is still crooked from when he was ski-booted to the face, and he hasn't really forgotten about it yet.


<Autobot> Grimlock whispers- if over radio, so it isn't that effective. "Him Sludge get confused easily."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Besides I am curious as to what you look like as a human."

<Autobot> Impulse says, "I noticed. I think Kup should tell you more war stories. Failing that, though... I guess Sheng and I could tell you a few."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "OOoo. Me Grimlock like stories!"


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance points at Powerglide like he was the antichrist. Which is pretty much is really, if the antichrist was from Brooklyn and hit women a lot. "Powerglide! Unlike you useless lot, I am actually doing something and investigating this glut of Moonracers we seem to have. Since I'm pretty confident there's only supposed to be one Moonracer." She strokes her chin. "But for my plan to work, I need some human armour that will get me into a restaurant, apparently my current attire is not suitable for /some/ reason"


<Autobot> City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "To borrow from Springer: Strength is more then physical, Grimlock. That is not neccisary, Bumblebee. I can read your report when you file it."

<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "Him Sludge am in Remedial courses..."

<Autobot> Sludge says, "Me Sludge Dinobot....him Grimlock Dinobot King! You say him Sludge no Dinobot?!?!"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "It's no problem really, I am kinda worried about you and I wanna check on you. Besides I kinda like the idea that I can protect you more now then you protect me."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Hrr. Him Springer tough, but not as tough as me Grimlock. That's why him say that! Me Grimlock need get office now." As for Rhiannon, whatever it is she wants, she can probably find it here. Though it may be difficult to incur even more debts on poor Marissa's card due to the LOW LOW prices!


Sam Waverly's sign language seems to phase Bob in a way that the lame excuses of teenagers would not have. He speaks into a radio, "Sir, customer appears to be speaking through sign language. Instructions?"

Mark Dowell replies back, "Wow... that's a dilemma... ooh! I know! Hand him a piece of paper and tell him to write on it."

"Confirmed," Bob says, then he reaches into his pocket, pulling a small booklet of notes out. He hands one to Sam Waverly, along with his pen.


<Autobot> City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "..Stay out of my office, Grimlock."


Bob says, "Could you write what you were saying on the paper, sir?..."


<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Is MY office now!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Haw haw haw!"

<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "Two bot enter! One bot leave! Two bot enter! One bot leave! Two bot enter! One bot leave!"

<Autobot> City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Soldier.. this is not permanent, it never is."

<Autobot> Spike Witwicky says, "Never."

<Autobot> Impulse says, "... ten years later, and nothing seems to have changed."

Sam Waverly takes the paper and pen, scribbles, 'Problem?' on it.

<Autobot> Markdown says, "Respectfully, Grimlock, Rodimus could be back any day now."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Hrrr. When him Roddy-mus come back, Me Grimlock let him have office. Maybe."

<Autobot> City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Yes, he's made a habit of over coming greater odds with less difficulty.. I doubt a black hole will be able to hold him for long."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "This is why you don't have the Matrix, Grimlock."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock no NEED matrix! Me Grimlock kick Unicron's butt!"

<Autobot> Sludge says, "If him Grimlock take Rod-ee-mus office.......me Sludge take Ultra Magnus office!"

<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "Him Spike have silly name."

<Autobot> Spike Witwicky says, "Says the credit card thief."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me say Spike good name. Is poiny."


Powell Glyde crosses his arms, "Well duh! Of course there is only Moonracer! We met her the other day at the EDC place, remember? She had really weird har? Tattoos? Yeah, she was TOTALLY Moonracer." He looks over Raindance with much scrutiny, "Not to sound like a Tracks, but that outfit IS pretty terrible. I can see why they don't let you in anywhere.."


<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "When did me Pile-Up ever steal credit cards?"

<Autobot> Spike Witwicky says, "You know that little plastic thingy you used to get all that stuff?"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Channel changer?"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Well if Grimlock and Sludge are getting those offices, does this mean I get to have the offices we made for them?"

"Just a problem with your transaction, sir," Bob says, noting that the customer seemed to hear him several times. Obviously not deaf. "If you could come with me, we should be able to clear it up."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "But yes, Me and Powerglide found Rampage."

<Autobot> Markdown says, "Is that you, Raindance and Powerglide? Look, I'm watching you right now on the store's security cameras. Please don't destroy my store! And, Powerglide? I think maybe you should buy some soap. Even on this little screen, you look REALLY grimy."

Ah yes. A glut of Moonracers. This one seems to be causally shopping in the women's section, rather than the 'Army surpluss rag bin'. Kim Mira is almost humming. Too bad for Sammy that she's not near the checkouts, isn't it? Or that she's got the currency? Eh. Maybe he should have grabbed her before going out.


<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "We reduce, reuse, recycle! It's amazing what decepticons throw away!"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "He is insistent on living as a homeless person Markdown."

<Autobot> Spike Witwicky says, "Pile Up..where did you /get/ that little plastic card?"

<Autobot> Markdown says, "I... see."

<Autobot> Sludge says, "Me Sludge think nice fit in here......me Sludge need swamp!"

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Well, if someone would give me MONEY, I wouldn't be digging around in trash cans to find things. Like food. And clothes. And this radio."


Sam Waverly listens to him carefully, then writes, "State full name and position in company," for Bob's benefit.


<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Powerglide, I offered you food and a place to stay."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "You went and began taunting Rampage."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Well...You shoulda' stopped me!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Is him Rampage all puny-fied like rest of you?"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "no, he attacked, in all his metal kitty glory."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "No, Grims, he's still a big, bitchy robo-cat."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Grr. Me Grimlock smash kitty!"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Which still didnt stop genius there from taunting him."


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance strokes her chin. "Well Mr Cleverclogs Minibot, you find me some dress code things." She hands him a menu from Luigi's Posh Bar & Grill. "What would work to unlock this place for me?" She starts looking at some of the LOW LOW discounts available in the shop, picking up a cycle helmet. "Hmm"


<Autobot> Powerglide says, "I'm not really appreciatin' your tone, Bee, I gotta be honest."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Well on the bright side, we did manage to track down more decepticons thanks to Powerglide."

<Autobot> Raindance says, "I said you could sleep in the hotel's janitor closet Powerglide, you are so selfish"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Raindance..."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "I totally tried that, and they just grabbed me by the hair and threw me out!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Hmmm. Sludge! Me Grimlock have orders to you as new city-commander."

<Autobot> Raindance says, "Well you shouldn't have been licking the walls like that!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "When bad stuff happen, you tell him Metroplex to transform and punch septi-cons."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Powerglide, when you come out of the store, I will take you back to the base."

<Autobot> Sludge says, "Me Sludge rule Au-to-bot City....me Sludge sort of King!"

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Can I bring my box?"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "You Sludge like...duke."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Yes."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "I love you."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "But not in a Tracks way."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Raindance, I know this is a little hard for you, but please stop being an idiot."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "So don't get too excited."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Oh be still my spark."


Bob scowls. His instincts are telling him that this guy is going to try something, but what? Seeking advice, he speaks into his radio. "Sir, customer's requesting my name and position."

Mark Dowell replies, "Give it to him. In the meantime, I ah, will be making a call..." To the police, that is!

"Confirmed," Bob replies. "Yes sir. My name is Bob Melworth, Security Lead."

The cycle helmet is seven bucks (!) and very light.

Kim would also notice how absurdly low the prices are if she had shopped at other stores.


<Autobot> Sludge says, "Me Sludge demand Powerglide report to office for briefing!"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "Foxfire, since you turned into a human and lost your tail, you have got /so/ nasty"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Only when I'm around morons."


Powell Glyde is holding the menu upside down, but that doesn't stop him from trying to read it. "Why are you trying to get in here? Doesn't your fancy hotel have food places already in it?" He looks at the cycle helmet Raindance is holding and almost has a heartattack over how LOW of a price it has!


<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Foxfire, Do you want anything brought to you?"


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance stares at the helmet. "Ugh, this is so expensive" she mutters, throwing it at Powerglide's head. "/I/ don't want to go there Powerglide, the other Moonracer does. I will use the opportunity to assess whether she is the real one. Hopefully we can get the other Moonracer there /at the same time/ in order to compare and contrast." She starts looking at a display of gardening gloves. "Hmm maybe..."

Raindance misses Powell Glyde with her grasp attack.


Blaster succeeds in grasping Rhiannon Slim-Dhance, throwing her off-balance.


A Yellow volkswagon pulls up to the shop. Clicking and clanking is heard as it folds into itself and begins to move before becoming the large robot, heading into the garage with a chuckle. Upon entering, he begins to look around to see where else to go in the store.


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "What's that, 'Bee?"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "I am asking if you want anything brought to you for when I bring Powerglide back to the base."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Anyone else want anything? Grimlock, Sludge?"

Sam Waverly nods, then scribbles, "Hold this a moment," and tries to hand off his backpack to Bob. With his other hand, he pulls out his PDA and starts doing something. Checking his messages or something, maybe.


Alice Wyatt steps out of the 'changeroom' which is in fact the staff washroom. She is wearing a clean and brand new mechanics coveralls and is holding a soiled plunger. Hearing familiar voices, Moonracer stalks quietly about the aisles until the opportunity to creep up behind Rhiannon presents itself.

Suddenly she grabs the other human female by the shoulders and pulls her against her own body firmly, "Check it out! I'm hear to clean the pipes!"


<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Hmmm. Me Grimlock good. Me think energon goodies is inside locked drawer."

<Autobot> Sludge says, "Me Sludge want troops to his office for breee-fing!"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Would I be considered troops?"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Good thing me Grimlock bring sword! *Various metallic *CRUNCHING* sounds are heard over the radio*"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "I want my want tail back. That's all."

<Autobot> Sludge says, "If me Sludge beat you in fight, you troops!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Uh. If you say that, that make lotsa septi-cons troops, Sludge."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Um Grimlock...I think Ultra Magnus dont keep his Energon goodies in there..."

<Autobot> Sludge says, "Me Sludge beat septi-cons and win war!"


Bob frowns as he takes the backpack. Not that he has any trouble lifting it, but something about all of this isn't right.


<Autobot> Grimlock neatly tears out a chunk of the desk with his sword, as can be heard over the radio! "Hrrr. You Bumblebee right."


Powell Glyde doesn't even notice the helmet go whizzing by his head, "That's dumb. You're dumb. There is only one Moonracer, and the one that was hangin' all over me the other day is definitely her." He flips the menu right-side up, but just tosses it to the side because reading is for sucka's, and P.G ain't no sucka. "Hey, I think that other human wants to mate with you or something."


Kim Mira hasn't exactly been paying to prices in most of the other stores, however, she has found a few different pieces that are tossed over the shoulder. Hopefully they're the correct size. And the commotion is nothing new for a grand opening, now is it?


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Grimlock, stop destroying people's desks."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Stop bein' a party-pooper, Fox."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me am not DESTROYING desk! Me need use desk as new Autobot leader! Is important!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Where else me Grimlock put feet?"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "on the floor?"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance does a really heroic girly scream as she is assaulted by Alice. "Oh Primus no, my pipes don't need cleaning!" she shrieks. "Its a human janitor, the lowest of the low!" She turns around to see Alice. "Aha Moonracer!" she exclaims. "I was just here... shopping... for... things..."


<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Psh. Me Grimlock need LEAN BACK. Is important."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Well Grimlock I have something I need your important decision on."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "How come *I'm* not Autobot leader? I'm cute!"

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Uuuugh.."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "You weren't cute to begin with, and you're even LESS cute as a human."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock am bigger, stronger, stompier, smarter, and more handsomer than you, puny-fox. That why me am leader!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "What you want, Bumblebee?"


Sam Waverly taps on his device. Lessee.. looks like Bob Melworth might be wanted for aggravated assault. Now what if the police got the idea that a wanted, armed crack-addict was seen at this store. Attach company picture. It's not hacking the Autobot City supercomputer-mainframe-thingy like usual, but it'll do.


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Then how come the femmes love me, Powerglide?"


A pair of cops arrive, stepping in through the front door. Bob nods to them, but he notices something odd in the way the cops are looking at him....


<Autobot> Powerglide says, "THEY DON'T. THEY JUST FEEL BAD FOR YOU!"

<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "OH No! There goes Tokyo! Good for Grimlock! Hey-yeah-eeyeah!"


Sam Waverly reaches forward to take the bag back from Bob, tilts his head, and waves at him.


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Spiiiiike, tell Powerglide that I'm cute!"


Alice Wyatt nods, smiling cheerily and sharing complete empathic understanding, "I KNOW RIGHT? Everything is at such LOW LOW PRICES!" She begins to scream trillishly, and jumps up and down a few times, excitedly carrying Rhiannon along for the ride.


<Autobot> Spike Witwicky says, "Foxfire's cute as a button."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Told ya, 'Glide."


Loud footsteps are heard as Bumblebee enters the store, looking about it as he tries to find people he knew.


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is jerked violently up and down by Alice, limbs flailing everywhere and the trilby hat she is wearing flying off her head as her hair gets messed up, the ultimate insult. She then does something she thought she would never ever have to do in her whole life. "UUuugh, Powerglide, help me!"


Bob hands the bag back, looking puzzled at Sam's wave. Then the cops approach Bob, hands on their guns. They haven't drawn them yet, but are prepared to. "Bob Melworth?" one asks. "That's me," Bob replies. "Put your hands on the wall and spread your legs." Sam, naturally, is shocked. "What!? But I--" "DO IT NOW!"


Powell Glyde suddenly remembers why he beats women whenever he has a chance. Turning on his heel, he walks away from the two and begins to browse the shelves. Since he has no intention of actually buying anything, it's not really browsing. It's more like buying time untill he can shove everything he can find into his pockets (which, coincidently, he was doing right now). "Hey, do you guys sell soap? I heard it's important and that I should get some," he says no one in particular. Upon hearing Raindance's voice, he just glances over and laughs.


Sam Waverly doesn't care to watch any of Bob's unfolding human drama, so turns and heads for the door during the ruckus. Now, if the police actually arrest him and run him through the system, they won't find any evidence, statements, witnesses, or justification for holding him whatsoever. But damn, it's inconvenient.


Blaster misses Rhiannon Slim-Dhance with her grasp attack.

Blaster misses Alice Wyatt with her grasp attack.


Alice Wyatt continues to bounce unimpeded by grasping adulterous hands. Her excitement does eventually wear down, and she stops jumping, but as she does, Alice continues to grip Rhiannon's shoulders and begins to sniff her hair experimentally. "What is that?" She asks suddenly and then dives into the hair like a tourist on a scuba diving tour off the coast of mexico. "It smells so ~~GOOD~~"


Kim Mira isn't going to steal anything here. There's really nothing worth stealing to begin with-- that isn't locked up. And now that she's found pieces of fabric with which to cover nakedness, she starts heading towards the checkouts herself. She may or may not be going by the garden section...


"LET MY PEOPLE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo" Having heard his (former?) cassette's cries from the electronics department, Blaster comes running full-tilt towards the two jiggling girls; he launches into a flying tackle, much like the one used on poor Powerglide the day before, only, this time.....he misses.

Both of them.

    • CRASH** There went a nice display of Crocs. No one will miss it.


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is stopped jiggling but is then sniffed. "It is HAIR Moonracer, stop trying to smell me, you are not Foxfire!" She tries to escape the clutches of the crazy lady, but is then stunned like a rabbit in the headlights of a car as she sees Blaster apparently hurl himself into a display case. "Oh my poor Blaster!" she utters, covering her mouth. "He's tried to kill himself because his human form is so ugly


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Spike, how do you humans walk around all the time without tails for balance? I just don't get it."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Foxfire, I got a present for you."


Bob exclaims as he is eventually dragged out in cuffs, "I don't understand! What's the charge!"

"Aggravated assault, for one thing!" a cop says, leading him outside. Moments later, Mark Dowell rushes out of the store, his face pale. "WAIIIT!"


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "What is it, 'Bee?"

Foxfire has arrived.


Somewhere through the store that name echoes. Blaster! (blaster.. blaster..) Sam freezes just at the door, hearing that one thing above all else. His bag of semi-stolen goods drops to the floor, and he slowly turns around.


Powell Glyde is shoving all sorts of things into his pants by now. T-shirts, hats, shoes, magazines, even a bag Doritos which emit mouth-watering crunches with every step he takes.


Alice Wyatt releases Rhiannon and nods sagely, "He is kinda fugly. But maybe he just wanted to relive the New Kids on the Block since they're doing that second reunion tour?"


<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "I got you a Tail."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Yay!"


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance stares down at Blaster's fallen form. "I guess I'm the tape boss now" she mutters, turning to Powerglide as he walks by. "Powerglide, there is something about the noise coming from you that makes me want to rip you open and eat it, what is that?"

Well, they always said that Blaster had a face for radio. He grunts and moans as pairs of future-Crocs fly this way and that, and, perhaps, one or two pair aimed almost too intentionally at Rhiannon and Powerglide. After a few moments, he's finally upright, and none the worse for wear. "Raindance...thought...*pant, pant* thought you were in trouble..." Even as he says this, somewhere, in the back of his fleshy brain, something perks up.. an old, familiar tingle..


Mark Dowell runs out the store... just in time for the police car to drive away. "NOOOO!!!"


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Blaster...where are you...?"


Bumblebee looks about the store and just smiles as he finds something and gets it. He smiles and begins walking to the noise.


<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Markdown, do you need help?"


Sam Waverly starts moving back through the store, toward the source of the yell.


Kim Mira continues to wander through the store. Big sometimes sucks. It might take her days to get out of here, and avoid being seen by one P.G. Or Rhiannon... Both of them might recognize her, and cause trouble. Trouble is.. a giant robot walking down an aisle.


Blaster

Ooo weee ooo, he looks just like Buddy Holly!


Blaze Renard darts through the store. Why? Because he thinks he knows where Blaster is, and he's desperate to see his guardian. "Blasteeeeer!" He skids to a stop, and blinks, finding Rhiannon...and someone else. "Blaster?"


<Autobot> Markdown says, "I... no, Bumblebee, it's too late. I'll have to clear this up with the police, myself."


Powell Glyde is very conspicuously reaching over a check-out counter and stealing many different brands of cigarettes. Kools, Marlboros, Newports, whatever he can grab. He doesn't really know what to do with them, but stealing is the most awesome crime someone can commit, so he keeps at it. "I don't know, man, maybe it's my good looks?" He looks up for a moment and sees Not-Moonracer, "OH, OH, RAINDANCE, IT'S THAT GIRL I KEEP TRYING TO GET LUCKY WITH!"


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance continues to glare down at Blaster hands on hips as she dodged the crocodile. "Ugh when am I ever in trouble Blaster, it is you who throws himself into inanimate objects. Aren't you supposed to be the responsible one?" She turns as Powerglide screeches out. "Oh Powerglide, stop it, she's obviously not Moonracer, its probably Hound trying to trick you again. Don't you remember that last time?" She tries to grab Powerglide by the head and pull him back to safety


Raindance misses Powell Glyde with her grasp attack.


Bumblebee walks over to checkout and sighs. He walks behind Powell very carefully and quietly and once close, he lets out a loud HONK! of his horn, going to grab at his shoulder.

Bumblebee succeeds in grasping Powell Glyde, throwing it off-balance.


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "What the *slag* is going on?!"


And by lucky, he means... being able to hit her with abandon?


"What? No--" There's P.G. There's Bumblebee. There's Rhiannon. Kim is not lucky, not lucky at all. "Uh Hound. Sure. I'm Hound." Big friendly fake grin. "So. What've you guys been up to?"


Where's the exit again?


Over There(tm).


<Autobot> Raindance says, "Blaster tried to kill himself"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "He just threw himself into a wall"


Alice Wyatt waves her plunger around and then goes looking for more junk. The sounds of shelves tipping over and other customers shrieking in panic can be heard, and a Tasmanian whirlwind of trouble is definitely percieved on the edge of perception.


<Autobot> Markdown says, "Dammit, they just arrested my security lead! Well, I think I've got two more guards available... Going to page them..."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Blaster tried to *what*?!"


That's right. Exit stage left.


Powell Glyde is really short, so obviously Raindance misjudged her/his/its distance and just sort of pawed at the air above his head. "Oh, maybe you're right. Ew, have I been hitting on Hound this entire time?" He begins to search around for a weapon to kill himself with, but his quest is cut short as he is very RUDELY grabbed by a monster of a Volkswagen, "HEY, WHAT THE HELL, MAN!?"


Sam Waverly comes around a corner and stops, looking at the commotion. Looking for Blaster.


J.P. Richardson III is only half paying attention to what's going on now. His eyes are scanning over the store..he has a bad feeling. A very bad feeling. He pauses only when a new, rather young looking person calls him by name. "Yeap...Blaster. That's me."


"Your stealing...Do you want to be mistaken for a Decepticon?" Bumblebee asks and just keeps a grip on him. "Put those cigarettes back." He says firmly.


<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Hey Markdown, can I perhaps buy this thing from you? I finally have some money from my undercover work."


Mark Dowell walks back into his store, sighing wearily. Then, to top things off, he hears... crashing noises?! "Oh, gosh!!! Oh, my gosh!!!!" He hustles over to the crashing noises!


<Autobot> Markdown says, "Oh, gosh!!!"


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is now not sure who to follow, Moonracer or Powerglide. So she does both, and attempting to snatch the stolen cigarettes from Powell, clambers over a shelf and takes a flying leap at Moonracer. "Oh no you don't!" she shouts. "You're explaining the dress code to me first!"

Raindance misses Powell Glyde with her grasp attack.

Raindance succeeds in grasping Alice Wyatt, throwing it off-balance.


Blaze Renard stares for a moment, then does something that he had never really been able to do as a fox. He throws himself at Blaster and hugs him tightly. "I found you! Finally!" He pauses. "Hey, uh, since we're human and all right now...should I call you Dad or somethin'?"


Alice Wyatt blinks as she is knocked over by 'implied' force, it's kind of like Wrestling, Rhiannon jumps at her, and from 3 feet away knocks Alice into a bunch of crappy plastic mannequins in swimsuits. "Well we're going to the adult all night cinema so I think we need to wear yarn." she explains again. Looking somewhat tired of explaining allready and rolling her eyes.


Sam Waverly looks around. Hey, sporting goods. He grabs four baseballs out of a bin, then turns to face the others.


<Autobot> Soundwave says, "Blaster."

<Autobot> Blaster says, "Soundwave."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire growls...


Powell Glyde just stares up at Bumblebee, "I am NOT stealing, good sir! I am an Autobot, and Autobots would never commit to such crimes!" As he says this, all the things he's stashed away begin to fall out the bottom of his shorts; piles of junk now littering his feet. "Geez, Bee, I'd think that after all these years that you'd know me better than that." He doesn't even notice Raindance.


<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "What is he doing here?"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "He likes to bother us on our own frequency, Bumblebee."


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance frowns at Alice. "I have no idea what that means, stop talking in human riddles. And I tried going into restaurants to test, but none will let me in because I don't have the correct dress code. What is the password!" She is ignoring Foxfire being all weird to Blaster, which is probably good because otherwise the Fox would be in trouble


Sam Waverly starts juggling the baseballs. While keeping three in the air with one hand, he pitches one for all his worth at the back of Blaze's head.

Soundwave succeeds in grasping Blaze Renard, throwing him off-balance.


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "OW!"

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Why is Huffer bein' such a dick?"


Alice Wyatt says, "Oh I know this one Rhiannon! It's no shirt no shoes, SERVICE!" she rips her coveralls off, revealing only a pair of heart adorned boxershorts. "Tadaaaa!"


Mark Dowell happens upon the Autobots and shouts, "WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING OH MY GOD LOOK AT MY STORE!" He braces himself against a support beam and begins to pant heavily. "C-can't take it..."


"No, after all these years, I just know what to expect from you." Bumblebee says as he gathers all the stuff around him and begins putting them back. He barely saw someone throw a baseball and walks over to him, going to reach for him to keep him from throwing any more.


Bumblebee succeeds in grasping Sam Waverly, throwing him off-balance.


J.P. Richardson III is hugged! He laughs. "That's unneccessary, Foxface. Blaster will be just fine. So, what have you---" He stops. Cold. He sees a very familiar face..but too late, as Foxfire takes one to the noggin. Blaster reacts immediately. "Autobots! We have company! Attack!" His instincts kick in, and he grabs the nearest projectile candidate he can find, and sends it hurling back towards his arch-nemesis.

This is how it comes to pass, on this day of days, that pigs fly. At least, this ceramic, oinking pig meant to be placed in a refridgerator to ward off midnight snackers flies. At Soundwave.

Blaster misses Sam Waverly with her grasp attack.


As Alice rips off her coverall, Rhiannon is thrown back into a pile of pom-poms, becoming covered in the giant balls. "Nnn I don't know Moonracer, something about that doesn't look totally right..."


Sam Waverly is grabbed by Bumblebee, taking him out of the path of JP's pig attack. All of the baseballs fly out of the reach of the arm that's grabbed, but Sam reaches for one with his free hand, trying to spin it up into Bumblebee's optics, maybe causing enough distraction to slip away from him and retreat.

Soundwave succeeds in grasping A Volkswagon Taxi, throwing it off-balance.


"Well, okay, if you insist--OW!" The force of the baseball nearly knocks Blaze off his feet, but he manages to keep his balance. He rubs the back of his head with a wince. "JEEZ!" He brightens somewhat as he watches Bumblebee go after Sam. "Yeah, get 'im, 'Bee!" He then blinks as Blaster reacts. "Y'know...if I still had my body, I could *totally* bite that fragger."


Powell Glyde shakes an angry fist of anger at Bumblebee, "Gah! If you weren't my friend, I'd punch you!" He turns around with a huff, arms crossed. He was suddenly in a very crappy mood. But then, after watching Foxfire take a baseball to the head, he was in a very good mood. "Hahahahahhaa, OH MAN! That was AMAZING!"


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Powerglide...you're a jerk...stop laughing!"


Alice Wyatt nods you're right! She kicks her shoes off, "TADAAA!"


<Autobot> Robomuppet Pile-Up says, "MMMM PIE!"

<Autobot> Powerglide can't hear Foxfire; is too busy laughing.


Mark Dowell begins to page his off-duty security guards like mad. "Where the hell are they!?"


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire sighs. "Blaster, can I hit Powerglide?"

<Autobot> Blaster says, "NO! At the moment, I'd like you to hit SOUNDWAVE."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "With pleasure!"


Kim Mira is going to walk out of the sudden mess, and stand by Mark Dowell. "Does this happen at every store?" She asks, "Because you should charge for entrance." A quirky smile, and she watches, since everyone she doesn't want to encounter is leaving her alone right now.


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance stares at Alice in horror. "What is the point of having feet if you can't wear awesome shoes! Think straight!" She grabs Moonracer's shoes and coverall, and starts to try to pull them over her own clothes, a pom-pom on her head


Bumblebee gets hit in the optics. He acks, letting go of Soundwave. He then reaches to try and slap soundwave. "Wonderful, no matter where I am, I find decepticons."

Bumblebee succeeds in grasping Sam Waverly, throwing him off-balance.

Bumblebee becomes the robot we know and love!


Alice Wyatt rolls her eyes and stands up straight, jiggling innappropriately, for now as no one else seems to be looking she's allright with that. "Are you feeling that... umm... I think it's a draft? what is that??"


Sam Waverly, you know, the human, gets *whacked* by a 10 foot tall metal monstrosity, and goes flying across the building. Lands with a pretty sickening crunch, in a heap on the floor.


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Urk..."


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance looks around, the coverall half on over her police uniform, and having failed to put on the shoes. "Uh, I think its Foxfire being inappropriate with Blaster. If you ignore him, he'll go away"


Powell Glyde just sorta' stands there, not really knowing what to do. On one hand, he should help Blaster and Foxbutt. On the OTHER hand, there were two girls; one of who was gettin' naked (why he cared so greatly about this all of a sudden was unknown to him) "Oh shit, Bee! I think you killed him!"


Blaze Renard just stares at Sam's form. "Oh...Primus." He can't help but feel a little sick. "Is he, uh...alive?" He looks to Bumblebee. "Didn't know you had it in ya, bud..."


J.P. Richardson III makes his way over towards Soundwave's less-than-impressive form, with almost a little more worry than someone's supposed arch-enemy should be showing at a time like this.


<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Someone call the cops! Bee just murdered someone in cold blood!"


Human Blaster decides this is his new name.


Mark Dowell nods at Kim. "No, this doesn't happen at every store. I just have the worst luck with my... friends." He grimaces. "And you!" He points at Alice Wyatt. "Would you cover yourself or something!?"


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Considering what he's done to US...it was probably justice."

<Autobot> Raindance says, "Wow, if anyone would know what happens when a Minibot hits a human, it'd be you, Powerglide"


Blaze Renard tags along behind Blaster, peeking out from behind him.


By the time Human Blaster is getting over to him, Sam is coughing and clawing his way up off the ground, staggering to his feet. Stupid human pain limitations. And dislocated limbs.


Raindance has reconnected.


Bumblebee runs after Sam and goes to grab the human, this time to try and restrain the man. "We need to find a way to restrain this man." He calls out to anyone who would hear him.


<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Soon there will be a whole franchise of Anti-Bumblebee clothes."

<Autobot> Blaster says, "Similar to the anti-Powerglide hats I saw the other day?"

<Autobot> Powerglide just...sighs.


Bumblebee misses Sam Waverly with its grasp attack.


"Oh, good, you're alive!" Blaster emits a sigh of relief. "I'd hate to think I'd missed the chance to kill you myself!" With that, Human Blaster has launched into --yes-- another one of his desperate lunges, right at Sam's dislocated self.

Blaster succeeds in grasping Sam Waverly, throwing him off-balance.


Kim Mira is not amused. "Sam?" potential purchases are dropped, and she pushes anyone who gets in the way. Not out of any great feeling, but it /is/ her duty, slaggit. Besides--- he knows where the bolthole is. And she left some stuff she still wants there. "Cut it out--" Oh, is she gonna have to slap a biatch?


Blaze Renard suddenly looks rather worried. "Blaster...we...we shouldn't really be fighting here..."


Human Blaster will fight where and when he pleases!


Sam Waverly's legs seem to work fine. Sorta. He ducks and weaves -- well, wobbles, really -- out of the way of Bumblebee's grasp, only to get tackled by Blaster. "Nrrf!" he coughs out, landing hard with another crunch. Unable to get away, he shoves at the other man, swinging for the face!

Soundwave succeeds in grasping Human Blaster, throwing him off-balance.


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance finally slips up the coverall, and now roasting in her double layers of clothes, marches over to Blaster and Foxfire. "Hey hey!" she shouts. "Blaster, Foxfire, stop being all /insane/ and /crazy/"


Mark Dowell waves his hands around. "And could someone tell me why Blaster is attacking that person!?"


Blaze Renard stares at Rhiannon. "You're one to talk, Rainy. You're, like, the *epitome* of insane." While he doesn't want to keep fighting in a place where *real* humans could get hurt, he *is* feeling overly protect of Blaster since Soundwave is here. He shows his canines...which almost *do* look like fangs.


Powell Glyde looks over at Mark, "Chill out, man. Geez, you act like you own the place or something."


Oh, what a strange image it must be for anyone watching Neo and Buddy Holly do battle, in some bizarre live-action version of something you'd usually only see in a badly-soundtracked Newgrounds flash animation. Blaster takes one to the face, and scoots away from the punch...he reaches behind him, and grabs the first thing he can find, and then proceeds to attempt to beat Soundwave about the head and shoulders with...a lava lamp.


Blaster misses Sam Waverly with his grasp attack.


Nightbeat has disconnected.


Raindance has partially disconnected.


Alice Wyatt says, "oh... okay..."


Alice Wyatt has no idea what's going on now, so she just pretends she didn't notice it.


"I think that is a Decepticon. He beaned Blaze in the back of the head." Bumblebee says. He then goes to try and grab Sam again, this time to try and shove him down into the ground.


Bumblebee succeeds in grasping Sam Waverly, throwing him off-balance.


"Look Foxfire" says Rhiannon as she watches Blaster flail about on the floor with Soundwave, attacking anything but his adversary. "Here I am just trying to shop for some lovely clothes so I can go to dinner and a movie, and I find Powerglide with his hands down his trousers, Bumblebee beating up humans, Blaster having a fit and you pretending to be a fox still. Now, who is the NORMAL one here?"


<Autobot> Powerglide says, "HELP! GET THE COPS AGAIN! BEE'S THIRST FOR BLOOD HAS NOT BEEN QUENCHED!"


Alice Wyatt says, "yeah Foxfire, do YOU know what the dress code is? because I'm just making it up! *teehee*"


Sam Waverly ducks. Hard. He ends up on the floor again, scrambling for a weapon, anything with which to beat Blaster to death with. His left arm is limp at his side, but as he rolls around to his feet, his right hand finds a piece of shelving knocked loose from Blaster's unhappy accident. He spins around to thwack the other communicator in the face, only to catch Bee's hand in his chest, driving him down into the floor. *crunch* Wheeze.


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "SHUT UP, POWERGLIDE!"

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "YOU SHUT UP, FOX! YOU WANT ANOTHER HIT TO THE HEAD?"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Both of you, calm down. I think this is a humanized Decepticon."

<Autobot> Spike Witwicky says, "Oh for cryin' out loud -sound of static-"

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "No. That's Gears and or Huffer."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Right, Raindance!?"

<Autobot> Blaster says, "Happy Horny Tap-Dancing Primus as a Penguin, it sure as hell /is/ a Decepticon. What part of SOUNDWAVE were you all not listening to?!"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "Yeah, its Gears"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "We got to apprehend him, not kill him. We can try and find out what he knows."


Blaze Renard jabs a finger angrily at Rhiannon. "Look here, *brother*." Ignoring the fact that Raindance is a girl right now. "I can't help it. I may be human, but it's only temporary. I am a *fox*, and nothing will change that. That 'human' over there is Soundwave, and we've got every damn right to attack him. Now shut up, butt up, and for Primus's sake, STOP BEING AN IDIOT!" That said, Blaze stalks over to Soundwave, snarling. "And YOU...I ought to rip out your throat, just like I did with Rumble's vocal circuits!"


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire snarls dangerously. Even while human, his Primitive instincts are threatening to take over...

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Remember guys, we dont kill humans, even if they are just decepticons."


Mark Dowell GLARES at Powell Glyde. "I DO own this place!!! And what do you mean, that guy's a Decepticon?"


<Autobot> Raindance says, "Or wealthy heiresses, /Powerglide/"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Markdown, the guy is Soundwave."


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance points at Sam. "What are you talking about Foxfire? That guy's Gears, he was back in base earlier. He was talking to Hound a lot. And I know he's annoying, but that's no reason to need to smash his head in with a novelty lamp"


Powell Glyde looks over at Raindance and shakes his head, "Oh MAN, Rain. You gunna' take that? I think you should beat his ass for-Wait, did he say Soundwave?" He reaches over to smack Raindance in the face, "YOU LIED TO ME, YOU WHORE!"


Oh dear. Is that a rather nice Louisville Slugger? Why yes, yes it is! And dirt cheap too.


"Leave Sam alone, you idiot." Kim, the relatively normally dressed female in the room is charging into things. Furious. Anger. She knows this feeling well-- hatred. She. Hates. All of them. And she's swinging. At Blaster.


Powerglide misses Rhiannon Slim-Dhance with its grasp attack.


Chimera succeeds in grasping Human Blaster, throwing him off-balance.


Sam Waverly is starting to look pretty pathetic at this point. At least a dislocated shoulder, bruised ribs, a little thin trail of blood at the corner of his mouth. Flat on his back in the middle of the aisle.


Alice Wyatt suddenly naked powertackles Powell! "NO YOU CANT HAS RHIANNON SLIM-DHANCE! SHE'S MINE!"


Raindance has partially disconnected.


Bumblebee goes to try and punch Kim, to get her away from Blaster. "Is this a decepticon? I will feel bad if I just hit a normal human." He says with a sigh.


Bumblebee misses Kim Mira with its grasp attack.


Moonracer succeeds in grasping Powell Glyde, throwing it off-balance.


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "That...she...SHE JUST ATTACKED BLASTER!"

<Autobot> Nightbeat says, "Wha--we've got positive ID on Soundwave? And he's a human?!" Nightbeat sounds like a kid opening a christmas present. "This could be our chance to bring him in once and for all, kid."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance manages to avoid Powerglide's slap easily by just standing there exactly as she was, as the minibot has gangly, flailing arms. "I don't even know what that word means Powerglide, but you're probably it!" She moves to slap Powerglide, but Moonracer gets there first


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "I'LL KILL THEM!"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "He is in Markdown's store, human name is Sam something and I also heard him on this radio signal as well so he could be listening in." Human Blaster is rising up, novelty lamp full of delicious waxy goo prepared to mete doom and death onto Soundwave below, when he, himself gets smashed upside the noggin by something that's most definitely not from the bath and bedding department. Blaster goes sailing forward, landing precariously close to, if not on top of, Soundwave.


Blaster succeeds in grasping Sam Waverly, throwing him off-balance.

On top of it is, kids.


Sam Waverly starts to get.. *wham*. There goes another rib.


<Autobot> Soundwave says, "OOC: Calm down, kids. The only 'positive ID' is Blaster flipping his shit and yelling about a human being Soundwave and then trying to murder him. :D"


Blaze Renard loses it. Eyes taking on a feral appearance, he snarls at Kim. "Blaster...you HURT BLASTER!" He rushes and lunges at here, his hand balling into a fist that he throws at her face. Even while human...he's still a Primitive.

Foxfire misses Kim Mira with his grasp attack.


<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Foxfire, calm down!"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire just snarls in response.


Powell Glyde silently curses his terrible depth perception as he flails around at Raindance's face. He goes to lean in closer to get a better hit but is tackled by an exceptionally naked, and REAL, Moonracer. "WHY AM I ENJOYING THIS?"


Kim Mira caught that motion out of the corner of her eye, and did something that probably won't be expected. She jumped, making the attempt to land on Bumblebee's arm. If she can keep her balance, and not be thrown off, maybe she can swing that slugger at Bumblebee's head as well. "Idiot. Stop trying to hit humans. They're FRAGILE!" Perhaps that's why she evaded Foxfire's grab as well.

Chimera succeeds in grasping Bumblebee, throwing it off-balance.


As Blaster keeps trying to attack the poor Sam, Rhiannon leaps at him. "Blaster, Blaster, COOL IT! Its just Gears! Don't go hurting Gears, you've gone to the /crazy place/ again!" She tries to wrap one of the spare arms of Moonracer's coverall around Blaster to pull him off


Bumblebee gets knocked upside the head with the bat and turns his head. The armor became dented a good bit and he goes to grab her off of him, more importantly, trying to grab the weapon out of her hands.


Raindance succeeds in grasping Human Blaster, throwing him off-balance.


Bumblebee misses Kim Mira with its grasp attack.


Blaze Renard whips around as his attack misses. "Like you're human, you glitch! I know you're a 'Con, just like that FREAK with the inferior cassettes!" He growls lowly at Rhiannon. "That is NOT Gears, you fragging IDIOT! He's SOUNDWAVE!"


Mark Dowell clenches his teeth as he sends more pages. "People, I don't care who's a Decepticon, you need to STOP!"


Sam Waverly isn't up to going anywhere, just kinda lying there bleeding.


Alice Wyatt giggles and pushes down on Powell's shoulders. "I dunno. It's not supposed to be fun." She says crossly making an angry face down at the helpless Powerglyde beneath her heaving heavy but entirely slim and pleasingly shaped weight.

"But it is? Isn't it?" she asks conspiratorially in a low whisper.


<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Have to...protect Blaster..."


Kim Mira will stop. When she finishes beating up the two Autobots that messed up her charge. "Did I ever say I was human, little one? DID I?" She leaps down from Bumblebee before he can touch her. "Human bodies are--" Aww. Crap. Sam's all bloody. Does she care?

She must at some level, because Kim stalks towards the injured one, rather than swinging at either 'Bot. Effort. Effort.


Human Blaster, for his part, flails about inside of Rhiannon's whateverthehell it is, until he manages to break free long enough to crawl away, stop, and flop down on his back, breathing heavily. He doesn't look the best he's ever looked, and it doesn't seem like he'll be taking this fight very much further than the first aid station.


Powell Glyde stares at his oppressor with at much contempt as a human male could when he's been pinned by a naked woman: none. In fact, he looks more like he should be saying 'hurf de derf', what with that goofy smile on his face. Is there a fight going on? Who cares!


<Autobot> Nightbeat says, "What's wrong with Blaster? What's going on? All I see are people running out of the store!"


Security guards with earpieces begin to surge into the store, hustling towards the incident. Markdown sees them, and jumps up and down, waving at them.


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance clambers to her feet as Blaster stops moving, offering Sam a hand up. "There you go Gears, don't worry, we'll get him treated for his violent problems." He then looks towards Powerglide. "Powerglide, stop it, I am feeling jealous for some reason. Get your own"


<Autobot> Markdown says, "My customers...!"


Raindance has reconnected.


Kim Mira notes that Blaster is being removed and restrained, and drops the bat to try and see if she can help Sam. This is likely beyond a bandaid, however, so she's not exactly qualified.


Blaze Renard is still a fox by nature. And a Primitive, of course. The sight of the security guards spooks him, and he snarls at them. Too bad he doesn't have his claws, otherwise he'd look more menacing!


Sam Waverly ignores Rhiannon's offer of a hand up, electing to roll over on his side -- on his good arm, where he can try and prop himself up with it. His movement is very slow and stilted, breathing laborious.


Andi Lassiter has connected.


Human Blaster is slowly helped out of the store by a friendly security guard. And by 'friendly' I mean pissed, and by 'helped' I mean tossed unceremoniously. He shall live, however, to fight Soundwave (or Gears) another day...


Blaze Renard isn't going to let the guards take him that easily! He points accusingly to Kim and Sam. "They hurt my dad!" Yeah. Blaster *technically* is his father. He always wanted to call him that.


As Mark Dowell watches, the other humanized Autobots and Decepticons are also "helped" outside. Even Bumblebee is escorted out! Yeah, he doesn't care who's who, he wants them out!


Kim Mira doesn't get to get the crap she was going to, instead, she gets to try and help an injured Sam. Silently. Very silently now.


<Autobot> Markdown says, "Damn... must be thousands of dollars of damage! Argh..!! *click*"


Rhiannon Slim-Dhance strips off her coverall to reveal the policeman uniform beneath and marches up to Foxfire, intent on putting him in an armlock. "He's not your dad buddy, and you aren't a fox." She winks at the security officers. "Guy's crazy, I'll take care of him"

Raindance succeeds in grasping Blaze Renard, throwing him off-balance.


Sam Waverly staggers out, with assistance.


<Autobot> Nightbeat whistles over the comm channel. "Wow, some of those customers got their clocks cleaned. Looks like they made it away on their own power though. So, you guys got Soundwave, right...?"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "No. Raindance and Markdown let him and another human escape."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "Nice one, Raindace."

<Autobot> Raindance says, "/Gears/"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "You can't just go calling every guy you see on the street a Soundwave"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "Especially if they're Gears"

<Autobot> Nightbeat says, "Primus. Well, at least Markdown's grand opening was a grand success, right? Besides that commotion at the end?"

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "Raindance, We know that guy is Soundwave. He threw a ball and beaned Foxfire in the head, and even spoke on the autobot radio signals and was recognized by three autobots."

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "I doubt it is gears."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "No. Markdown's grand opening was a complete failure. Also, one of his security guards was arrested."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "I'M A FOX, DAMMIT! LET GO, RAINDANCE!"

<Autobot> Raindance says, "Nnn calm DOWN Foxy, stop being crazy"

<Autobot> Nightbeat says, "Vector Sigma on a stick!...well, at least our teamwork is looking better than ever."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "I think Foxy is going to choke Raindance."

<Autobot> Nightbeat says, "SLAGGIT ALL TO THE PIT!! Er. Well, maybe it's not too late to salvage something from this fiasco. As long as we can get Foxfire and Raindance calmed down, I think we can move forward..."

<Autobot> Raindance says, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH"

<Autobot> Nightbeat says, "SWEET HORNS OF UNICRON! Well...at least it's only the two of them that are out of control right now. If it's just two, we should be able to manage...somehow."

<Autobot> Powerglide says, "HAHAHAHHA I PUNCHED FOXFACE!"

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