A New Science Of Life

Who: Blueshift, Redshift, Warmonger, Galvatron, Dreadwind, Rumble, Frenzy, Blot, Pipes, Quickswitch, Alpha Q
IC Year: 2029
Location: The Phantom Lands
TP: Into The Black


Summary: Alpha Q makes his final demands to the assembled Autobots and Decepticons. Will he escape to conquer the universe, or can he be stopped?

Great Plain

A gigantic expanse, stretching far in all directions. The ground is covered in rocks and dirt, though there is no sign that it has ever been disturbed. The sound of wind whistles through the air, though there is no motion. The cries of strange birds are heard, but there is nothing visible in the sky, which also stretches far. The tips of the trees of a forest can be seen far to the east, whilst to the west is a range of mountains. Everywhere else seems to lead simply to... mist.

Galvatron paces the strange landscape, hands behind his back and eyes lowered. He's starting to wear a shallow trench into the ground. Every so often he looks up and peers into the horizon. "Dreadwind, have you flown a patrol of our environment lately to see if it has increased in size?"

Blueshift is currently lying in a broken pile in his makeshift 'fort' on top of the stack of rocks that he earlier declared to be his 'recharge bay', having been dumped there unceremoniously

Galvatron adds, pointing a finger at the rock pile AKA 'battlestation,' "And why is Blueshift broken again? Can no one keep Blueshift fixed? This is why we can't have nice things."

Dreadwind is making the best of a bad situation and has slumped to the floor in a dejected heap a mere two steps from the place where he first entered this horribly bright and cheery new universe. His dull yellow optics stare into the misty distance apparently waiting for whatever is out there to come and get him.

Galvatron gives Dreadwind a sharp kick. "I just asked you a question, soldier!"

Blueshift's head falls off

Dreadwind finishes his crumple to the floor aided by the kick, he turns and regards Galvatron, though he doesn't try to get up. "I don't know, probably because we now have no reasources for repairs, no energon to refuel, the medics have likely been taken by whatever terrible creatures exist out there and eaten or worse. Though i doubt even this place is the end i'm sure another universe full of pain and suffering awaits us after we leave this one."

Galvatron exhales a puff of exhaust through his nose in his typical 'derisively amused' way. "Dreadwind, I don't know whether you're a pessimist, or an optimist who just loves to be disappointed." He turns away to pick up Blueshift's head and put it back on the pile.

Dreadwind watches Galvatron as he apparently tries to give Blueshift a little dignity, "The only metals around is that ugly statue of the humans, though it's too late to get it now the Autobots headed there almost as soon as we materialised here. It is likely fortified and well guarded now, they foolishly thought they'd need radios here, like there's anyone else around to talk to."

"Seized control of the statue? What statue is that?" asks Galvatron, who came in late.

Dreadwind stares blankly at Galvatron and then slowly painfully pulls himself to an upright position, slowly swinging his arm up he points into the distance at the Statue of Liberty. "There, that terrible monstrosity that they seem to admire for some reason, as if that statue ever did anything of any use for anyone."

Galvatron turns to regard Lady Liberty. "That thing? What has it got to do with radio transmissions? It's merely decorative, human folly and frippery!"

Dreadwind lets his arm flop back to his side, "Red Alert wanted to use it's height to setup a radio, as if anything else here has radios, it's just us them and something else out there in the mists, waiting for us to make our move."

Galvatron shakes his head. "Those poor Autobots. Why, we could simply fly to that altitude and send a transmission... were there anyone to send to. I would pity them if they were not so pathetic as to raise my ire!"

Blueshift's optics slowly flicker back online. "Nyaaaargh!" he emits as he pats his head to make sure it is still attached. "I had the oddest dream! I dreamt that... oh." He looks around himself at the scenery. "Well that sucks"

Dreadwind nods at Galvatrons remark, "We could yes but then of course we'd be using up our precious reserves of energy and also enticing out whatever flying monsters happen to be out there." The fact that he hasn't seen anything but other Cybertronians hasn't shaken Dreadwind from his belief that there is something bad out there, in the mist. Dreadwind looks at Blueshift, "Of course it does, you didn't think that it was going to get any better did you? I knew it was only going to get worse, and i was right."

From the vague expanses just on the edge of vision comes a figure. A figure shrouded in mystery. Shrouded in power. Shrouded in low-visibility fog. Slowly, the figure approaches the Decepticon party, moving with a slight limp in one leg. The closer it gets... the less imposing it seems.

Until, at last, the form of Warmonger become visible. Walking up to Galvatron, he thrusts a fist into the air and cries, hoarsely, "HAIL GALVATRON!"

"Where have you been, Warmonger?" is all Galvatron has to say.

Dreadwind's head droops as Warmonger shows up, "Soon we will all be here, trapped in this terrible unforgiving universe, bound for eternity in continual agonies unheard of in our old universe."

Blueshift is suddenly spurred on by Warmonger's return, starting to his feet and punching a fist in the air. "Yes! HAIL GALVATRON!" he cries out. "Warmonger has returned, help is at hand! Warmonger, you will save us!"

Warmonger lowers his hand, but remains at attention. "Might Galvatron! As I, WARMONGER, was the first Decepticon warrior to enter this world, I immediately began scouting the terrain and searching for ways to DESTROY that arrogant interloper and its master, ALPHA Q!" Fire burns in his optics as his face twists into a mask of rage. "ALAS! This ACCURSED land goes on for an ETERNITY! Featureless! Vast! Improbable!"

"I'm glad *someone* bothered to perform some reconnaissance," replies Galvatron, giving Dreadwind a sharp look. "Is it a geometric plane then, Warmonger? It doesn't simply wrap around to the other side like a normal planet?"

Blueshift stretches out his hand to motion at the pile of logs and stones that he has constructed. "And I have built a battle fortress with which we can ravage this land, and protect us from the enemy, those accursed Autobots and our captor, who lives in that thing!" He points at the gigantic cylindrical citadel that lies in the distance. "It landed earlier yesterday, and it is where I got deactivated. Redshift was there too, he is obviously dead by now, or busy trying to rescue me!"

Dreadwind shakes his head at Warmonger's statement, "No, not improbably you merely are deficient in your processing power, it would take a large intellect to see and understand it all, to notice the little changes and their place in the grand scheme that threatens to bring us all to demise." Dreadwind doesn't really pay much attention to the glare after all nobody told him to do that, usually he's told to sit and guard stuff, all on his own in some remote materials depot.

Galvatron glares at the citadel with narrowed eyes. There's only room for ONE translucent cylinder that "pulses with power" in this town.

Blueshift slaps his crotch at Galvatron's words. "YEAH!" Then he pauses and looks at Galvatron's cannon. "YEAH!"

Warmonger nods, looking grim. "I, WARMONGER, spent what must have been several solar cycles dividing the land up into grids for my search. The horizon is all but non-existent. The land simply blurs into the sky, and no matter how far I, WARMONGER, traveled in one direction, I never once came back to the same point." He sighs, frustrated. "This... this PLACE, it is IMPOSSIBLE."

The old Decepticon Jet casts a glance towards Blueshift and his citadel, and his mouth curls into a sneer. "Oh, BLUESHIFT. With such INTELLECT and PROWESS as YOURS on our side, we are CERTAIN to be victorious."

Galvatron strokes his villainous chin thoughtfully, tuning out Dreadwind's background gloom to consider what Warmonger has discovered. "One might even say... unreal! Perhaps it is all merely a dream of a dimension, an artificial environment created to imprison us!"

"What, you mean it is only as real as the person who built it thinks it is? Like some awful holovid of some kind?" He returns to fiddling with his fort, putting some logs back on top. "Is that why it all looks real, but isn't? Like, someone lazy made it?" says Blueshift

Warmonger trembles with anger at the mere idea. "What GALL this Alpha Q displays, to seek to imprison the GLORIOUS DECEPTICON EMPIRE?!" A fist clenches. "Surely this INCONCEIVABLY foolish Quintesson will be made to DANCE for our amusement! Dance... UPON A FIELD OF PAIN!"

Dreadwind shakes his head once more, "No this place is definately real, almost like it is only half completed, whatever made it gave up after a small period of time, most likely because it was bored or was destroyed by something more powerful that enjoys the safety of the concealing mists. The light was likely a method of transport to this place, not that we can manipulate it to take us back."

Rumble has been strangly quiet since he arrived in this realm, He's been standing in the back looking around but all this non-action has been slowly getting on the nerves of the Tape con, He strolls forward a little and says, "Why don't we just try and get rid of this mist stuff, How about I shake things up abit, They might get rid of..." he gestures at the mist, "Stuff... Ya never know..." he transforms his arms into his pounders.

"You're welcome to TRY, Rumble, but I doubt it will result in success. The mist recedes before you as you approach it," points out Galvatron, who has more patience for Rumble than most of Soundwave's tapes due to his coming along on the Nemesis, while most of the other tapes were back on Cybertron playing air hockey and skipping class.

"No wait, I have a plan!" Blueshift cries unconvincingly. "The answer came to be in a dream. We find a back door to that building" he points at the citadel "sneak in, and we /blutch/ this Alpha Q! Problem solved!" He looks pretty proud of himself for coming up with that one

Warmonger crosses his arms, looking snooty. Because he is a /brilliant tactical mastermind/ and Blueshift is a /Blueshift/. "The TOWER is CLEARLY a TRAP," he says, looking down his robot nose at Blueshift. "Such a maneuver would be foolhardy at best, and DEADLY at worst. It is not PRACTICAL."

Dreadwind says, "Yeah that's a great idea sneak up on something that is powerful enough to drag us all unwillingly to this place and then tell us that we can't do anything to resist, i'm certain he won't notice our surprise attack. See even Warmonger agrees with me."

Rumble grins and says, "Your the boss... boss." he laughs as he runs towards the front of the mist and some distance away from the other Decepticons to make sure he doesn't shake them up a little.. He stops as he hears Blueshift and says, "Huh?! Sneaking around? Do we look like the kind of mechs that... sneak?!" he turns around and looks at the tower and gets an evil thought only Rumble would get, "Hows about I knock that badboy down, then you can look through the rubble to see if there is anything to sneak up on." he laughs.

"I tried to 'blutch' it once already," growls Galvatron, angered by the very memory. "It simply reflected my fusion beam back at me! It must be assailed in some other way... but how? Perhaps the tower itself is its source of power... Rumble!" He points towards the tower. "Try to knock that tower down and see what happens!"

This is of course the same plan Rumble just came up with but Galvatron was coming up with it on his own.

Admittedly, reflects Galvatron thoughtfully, 'how about I use my PILEDRIVERS on it, boss?!' is Rumble's one and only plan, so it was to be expected. But it's one he's well suited for.

Dreadwind nods, "It *is* as hopeless as i knew it was, it likely has a modulating reflective shield that alters it's state to cause our weapons to have no effect and dangerously rebound, possibly maiming us in the process. If the occupier made this place then we can assume that he has many powerful weapons at his disposal all intended to maim and destroy us should we even get past the walls, which we can't."

Rumble laughs as he says, "Lets shake things up abit." he looks around again to see his fellow Decepticons then turns to face the tower, many many process then take place in rumbles systems, density of the ground, trajectory of the impact wave. The wave front velocity. But all this is lost in the front of Rumbles systems where it just shouts, SMASHY SMASHY! He Jumps into the air his pounders plundging towards the ground, as he lands he plants his feet and launches a wave of energy into the ground causing a decent tremor.

Frenzy runs past Rumble, then stops, and backs up, still jogging in place. "Heh there Rumble, are those Auto-jerks still around?"

As Rumble's piledrivers smash the ground, a huge crack appears, that arches through the rock towards the gigantic cylindrical object, causing it to wobble, totter, and then crumble to rubble, a plume of smoke arcing into the air. That was... easy?

Rumble keeps pounding as he hears Frenzy, he turns as he continues to support his earthquake and shouts, "don't know, doesn't really matter. I'm smashing stuff..." he laughs as he puts a little extra effort in.

Frenzy turns and deploys his piledrivers, attacking the citidel as well. "Yeah, let's get this party started!"

"YEAH!" shouts Blueshift as he takes out his laser to start shooting at the falling tower. "Yeah, lets DO THIS! DECEPTICONS LALALALALA!" he cries, as if he had come from GI Joe the Movie. "We'll be safe and dry in no time! When in doubt, just shoot stuff!"

Galvatron stands safely behind the demolition duo, hands on hips. "Well, that was easier than I had expected, quite frankly."

Rumble watches as he sees the crack form on the citadel and says, "What the frag? That was almost no fun at all... There better be some sharkticons in there...." he slowly starts to slow the earthquake then stops his side of the fight as he transforms his pounders back into arms and wipes his hands together.

Dreadwind says, "Well it didn't take long for this place to start affecting some of our more mentally defficient elements, it will only be a matter of time until it starts to get to us all, can you feel it slowly seeping into your mind, rational thought draining away ever so slightly, as we drift closer and closer to the oblivion of madness."

The rubble of the citadel now lies across the ground, spread out and shattered, huge fallen beams everywhere. Blueshift starts to walk towards it, whirling his pistol round in his finger, as if he had done all the work. "Decepticons 1, Quintessons 0!" he smirks triumphantly

Out of the citadel's wreckage, a small blue semi cab appears! It transforms into Pipes, who is wearing a fake beard over his non-face. It makes him look older. he also has a huge crossbow. "Whoa! One minute I'm living off the land, and the next minute... DECEPTICONS! Hey, what up bros!"

Galvatron strides towards the wreckage and... what is this? "...Pipes? Are YOU Alpha-Q? Explain yourself before I annihilate you!"

Galvatron as usual harshes on Pipes' buzz.

Warmonger watches as the citadel falls, nonplussed. "But... but..." he says, barely a whisper. Then he holds out his hands, slightly clawed, palms-up, and looks around. "/Trap/?"

"Whoa, hey, Anti-Rodimus, you listen to /me/, Party King Pipes, Citadel Survival Expert!" Pipes says, pointinh his huge crossbow at Galvatron. The moustache to his white beard turns down, which indicates a frown. "I've never had a 'Q' in my name and never will, and that is my promise to /you/ as Party King, bro! Stick that in your coal-burning, ozone destroying incinerator and smoke it!"

Blot grumbles, "I thought alpha Q was the guy who bad touched the ghost bro dude mang." Blot sighs and chews on some more grass. "Grass no taste like car. This place sucks. "

Frenzy is dry-humping a large piece of rubble when he notices pipes. "Oh yeah, who's your daddy!..err..what the hell?"

Rumble walks along the crack he made on the floor and laughs to himself and sees something in the distance walking out of the crack he just caused on the citidel, He stops and watches and says, "What... The... Frag...." he walks towards Pipes and says, "Hey! Gandalf! What are you freaking doing!"

"So Pipes was Alpha Q all along?" Blueshift muses, as he wades through the rubble. "It all makes sense! I guess we can go home nowwaaaargh!" Suddenly a claw comes from the wreckage and he is yanked into the air, instantly torn in half, his body thrown back at the Decepticons (and Pipes).

Trap? Of COURSE it was a trap, as effortlessly, an armoured monstrosity arises, chuckling deeply. Alpha Q has arrived!

Alpha Q has arrived.

Frenzy looks at Pipes, then Rumble, then Galvatron, then Blot, then back at Pipes. "Errr..Heh there auto-freak..that's a nice..beard you have..?" Frenzy is perplexed and puzzled by all this to say the least. Thou this is frenzy, not exactly the fullest tape in the deck..

Warmonger looks vindicated as the monstrosity rears back. He crosses his arms over his chest again, resuming his smug expression. "I, WARMONGER, /told/ you that it was a trap!"

That said, the grizzled veteran draws his High-Bore Laser and dives for cover. Not that there is any cover here.

Dreadwind struggles to his feet trying to see just what hideously powerful being the others have now unleashed by tearing down the tower, he knows it's in there somewhere it's just a matter of time until it makes its presence felt.

Galvatron raises his cannon and immediately fires on the armoured monstrosity. In this respect he has a lot in common with Rumble; his first reflex is to shoot whatever he doesn't understand.

Galvatron strikes you with Fusion Cannon (low output) for 21 points of damage.

Frenzy screams, throwing his arms in the air and running behind Dreadwing after Alpha Q emerges and tears Blueshift a new exit port. "Take him, he likes to die!" He screams while hiding behind Dreadwing.

Rumble watches as the claw takes Blueshift. He doesn't move he ponders for a moment and says, "Well no big loss there... Lets go home, I've got my shows to watch..." he laughs as he looks around at the other Decepticons and says, "Ok, Just kidding, Hows about he run in there guns blazing and see if we can get some Alpha Q Kababs." he doesn't wait for any yay or nay he just runs towards the claw then jumps over some rubble as he draws his blaster and fires of a beam of energy towards Alpha Q.

Rumble strikes you with Laser for 12 points of damage.

Looking to Blot, Pipes cocks his crossbow (with no hands) "Hey, bro! This crossbow /kills/ ghosts, and this dude is the ghost king! Ghost King vs Party King!" With that, Pipes fires a crossbow bolt that is spraypainted neon green. "Neon colors kill ghosts /dead/ that is a science fact, you can read about it on my Blog, The Party King's Guide to Practical Science!"

Pipes strikes you with NEON BOLT for 4 points of damage.

Frenzy then smirks and readies his gun, as his act was all a ploy to throw off the Quint. Though honestly, he really wouldn't miss Dreadwing much.

As Galvatron's cannon hits the creature, it screams, exploding in sparks, writhing on the ground as more and more blasts attack its frame. "Nooo, you cannot defeat my destiny!" cries Alpha Q as suddenly, he implodes, flames licking about him, the landscape shimmering, and changing back to that of Washington State. Well, that was anti-climatic... wasn't it?

Galvatron scowls at Alpha-Q as it blows up AGAIN. "Blueshift, go see if... hm." Blueshift is already in pieces. But he can still be helpful. Galvatron picks up Blueshift's upper half and flings it at Alpha-Q's wreckage to see if it's ALSO a trap.

Frenzy peaks out from behind Dread at the smoking corpse of Alpha Q. "What the hell, that was it? I've seen toasters tougher then that!

Blot gives Alpha Q the thumbs up, "Yeah real scary demon grocery store man. Blot see you in the demon produce section!" He flips the thumbs up to thumbs down, "THBBBBBT! Yeah that right! BLot say you taste like broccoli!" To emphasize his point Blot falls to one knee and sticks his hand down his throat. He immediately begins to regurgitate violent gallons of brightly neonglowing green goo onto the Alpha Q dude.

Blot strikes you with BlooooOOoOOooOOOooooOooOCH for 5 points of damage.

"I killed the ghost and that is /science/, Decepticons! You guys should put down your clipboards, what with the plans for concentration camps and spacwe plagues and read a book! A science book! or my blog!" says Beard Pipes, looking especially at Frenzy and Rumble.

Blot's BlooooOOoOOooOOOooooOooOCH attack continues to sear away at you, doing 2 damage.

Galvatron gives Pipes a suspicious look as if he still might be the real enemy. "What is the meaning of that beard then?"

Warmonger squints, finding himself behind a boulder which is vaguely shaped like a buffalo. Alpha Q exploded again. "Hrn," he muses. "Either this Alpha Q is the most pathetic excuse for a universal conqueror I, WARMONGER, have ever seen in my many decacycles of BATTLE... or there is YET MORE AFOOT!" He keeps his rifle out. Just in case.

Frenzy quickly sneaks over and turns blot in pipes direction. "I'm sorry, you were saying auto-nerd?

Rumble looks up at Galvatron and says, "I bet he's going to one of those geeky earth conventions... Yea... Freak...." he looks back at Pipes.

"Listen, bro, man, guy, Galvacon. My name is Pipes and I am Rugged. The beard is a symbol of how rugged I am, like your arm phallus is a symbol of how, like, evil and insane with the secrets of space you are, bro. Okay?" Pipes says, re-loading his crossbow with another BOLT.

Blueshift's body clatters against the remains of Alpha Q and lies still, not doing an awful lot of scouting or attacking, poor chap. And then... the wind stops. And the landscape slowly shimmers, until a circular wall surrounds everyone. Slowly, Alpha-Q's inner sanctum fades into view, the Cybertronians finding themselves in a large stagelike area, a throne mounted at the far end. And towards that throne, descending from the ceiling comes the horrific armoured form of Alpha Q. Laughing.

"A... crude diversion!" he booms, flexing his claws. "But an effective lesson. In this land, I control everything. I molded it from the proto-matter of creation with my very mind. How do you think you can possibly defeat /me/, when I am ALL!"

Dreadwind stares at the torn and destroyed body of Blueshift, totally nonplussed and then turns his gaze to the one that caused his suffering to end, "So at last you have come to increase the pains of us all, so that we become like you. It won't work, they don't understand how the universe works how the suffering won't end, how we can't stop it only endure it and wait for the final destruction of existance itself."

Rumble looks up and laughs, "Mind? You've got one? I can't see it from here.. come down here and i'll see if i can find it for you ya punk!"

"I thought so!" declares Galvatron. "This is nothing but shadows and light manipulated by the powers of this place's lord! What do you want with us, villain? I am Galvatron and do not take kindly to imprisonment!"

Frenzy puts on a Pipes-like disguise complete with thick glasses out of nowhere, and speaks with a german accent. "But is not ze proto-matter inherently unztable?"

Warmonger now finds himself hiding behind a stage light. Oh well. He shoots a look at Pipes. "Autobot warrior! You are mighty and brave, but I, WARMONGER, will have to give you such a DOOM WEDGIE as the UNIVERSE has NEVER SEEN if you do not, as the wretched /humans/ say, STEP OFF."

The veteran jet looks towards his leader. "Mighty Galvatron, clearly this creature is MAD! Let us CURE it of its AFFLICTION... with DEATH." He hefts his rifle meaningfully.

Blot continues to barf although it has mostly petered out by now. "Ketchup and Mustard tastes better when you cross the streams." he replies to frenzy matter-of-factly.

Uh, whoa, wedgie, bro? Uncool!" Standing with Rumble and Frenzy, Pipes aims his crossbow at Alpha Q, but just ends up walking toward him, now wearing a red carpet as a cape, that's sort of just magically there. "Alpha Bro! Ghost King! I, Pipes, have a proposal for you! It's a little bit gnarly but bear with me, Ghost King bro!"

Rumble looks towards Frenzy and draws his pistol quickly and points it at his bros head and shouts, "I think this isn't Frenzy... No way he would speak like that... Stuff..." he then looks around and sees blot... no one would make a copy of that so he feels safe with Blot being Blot... but everyone else... Yea.. any of them might be an imposter... Yea...

"NOR DO I!" booms Alpha Q, claws snapping, armoured faces turning round with each word. "Eons ago, I was trapped here, in this phantom land of nothingness, trapped by the failings of the traitor Primus! For eons I floated in this void, until my iron will shaped the land to my whim. But I could never escape, for the moment I try to leave, this reality would collapse, destroying me. And so one of you, MY children now that Primus is dead, one of YOU must take my place in this prison." Waving a fist, he turns Galvatron into a delightful ice sculpture, before turning to Pipes. "You, little one? You would proposition a GOD?"

Frenzy raises a brow. "What are you talking about, you scattered-brained short-circuited sorry excuse for a brother of mine?" He then takes off the disguise and smirks. "Of COURSE it's me!"

"You turned GALVATRON into a STATUE!" Warmonger roars, popping up from behind his spotlight (which was too small to effectively hide him in the first place, really). "For that I, WARMONGER, shall DESTROY YOU... PIECE BY PIECE!" He levels his rifle. "Beginning... with your DISGUSTING FACE!"

Warmonger strikes you with High-Bore Laser for 16 points of damage.

Slinging his anti-crossbow over his shoulder heroically, Pipes points at Alpha Q with a smokestack, "Okay, Ghost King! Just hear me out, I think this negative zone of yours is really cool and everything, but I have a sweet museum and you can work there if you promise not to use any of your Ghost Magiks on my friends, and I'll pay you a---" And then there's a laser! "Whoa!"

Not concerned with his brother's gun waving, Frenzy attempts to lift Blot up and point him at Alpha Q, and then squeeze his mid-section. "Lunch is served ladies and ghouls! MUAHAHAHA!"

Dreadwind says, "God? No. A tortured being who has had nothing but the emptyness of his own existence for company, stuck in the torment of unending nothingness. No a god if they even exist would not have been trapped like that. The only true way to escape such a trap would be to stop fighting it, submit to it, give in and become one with the nothing."

Rumble continues to watch Frenzy then notices as Alpha Q attacks and freezes Galvatron into ice... he turns around and says, "No... freak'n... Way..." he then breaks into a sprint and puts his pistol away as he emits, "Your gonna get pounded into dust for that." He jumps around the area and transforms his right arm into his pounder, he then dives towards Alpha Q and attempts to smash a nice hole through him.

Rumble strikes you with Area_ranged for 21 points of damage.

Alpha Q swats at Warmonger's blast. "Pathetic. In my realm, there is no death, simply my will. I control what lives and what dies!" He turns back to Pipes. "And little one? You do not hear me. My escape from this land is what is at stake. But in you I sense a keen mind. Perhaps you could take over from me." His head snaps up at Dreadwind's words. "You DARE? Could anything but a god do THIS?" And at that, he waves a hand, and stranged, leafed plants start to shoot up around Pipes

Pipes seems really excited about all the plants, and just sort of sits cross-legged in them, and rainbows shoot out, too. He is happy. "Uh, sorry, bro, dude! I would break Rodimus' robo-heart if I had to stay here! But if you're a god can't you just make another you and have him all sit here and stuff, and then you go hang out in the museum with me? We can play Missile Command, bro, it's off the hook."

Dreadwind watches as the plant suddenly springs up and entangles the Autobot, he doesn't look impressed or convinced, "Yes someone with sufficent control over plant based life could easily do that, there was this terrible assignment Darkwing and i were sent on to some misbegotten planet, it took months to get all the spores out of my servos, the grinding was terrible. But as you pointed out it's not a plant it's just the stuff that you make look like a plant. If we were stuck in here as long as you have been some of us could probably do that too, though of course we're likely to end up crippling more than a few of us especially those with such little minds." Dreadwind would try and prove his point by trying to manipulate the place but what's the point he knows he's going to fail.

Rescue mission, or suicide bombing?

A sleek red spacecraft skims along through the strange, virtually colourless atmosphere. Slung under the belly of this craft is a large, rounded device of an unknown nature... Although anyone who was able to hear Redshift's report before being sucked into Alpha Q's world would likely know what it is.

"ALPHA Q! MY MASTER! YOUR HUMBLE HERALD HAS RETURNED!" The craft announces, diving down towards the citadel.

Blot is doing not much as he has run out of precious energon. "Blot no like talking to people for repairs, repairbots boring. Blot never repair again. Why Blot hurt so much?" Blot scratches his head and lays down on the grass to try and rest.

Frenzy sits on Blot and pulls an old-fashioned pipe out of subspace and proceeds to smoke it. "Fascinating.."

"Perhaps..." Alpha Q considers, the armoured creature rising up slightly above Pipes. "Perhaps I will enjoy this 'missile command' of what you speak. But it must be as myself. After all, how can you duplicate a god?" A baleful gaze is directed at Dreadwind. "Would you want the chance, Cybertronian? To stay here the rest of your existance, to know that every move, every manipulation of every object is yours, and yours alone? I can give you that chance, godhood is not a light burden. Only those of sound mind may attempt it. Ah, my herald has returns." The creature stands between Pipes and Dreadwind. "I have decided. One of you is to replace me in this land. It has... corrosive effects, so each of you will need armour like mine. Now, remove my armour, let my true form step out, so I may at last be free!"

"I come bearing an offering to your divinity, Alpha Q." Redshift says smoothly. The sleek craft cautiously approaches, and delicatly deposits the roughly ovoid-shaped object on the ground. He then transforms to his well polished robot mode, and flourishly bows to the Quintesson-like creature. "It posesses the ability to unleash a vasy amount of stored energy, which will surely aid you in conquering the outside worlds, or crushing those who would resist you." He says, and steps forward to assist Alpha Q, his new leader(or so it would seem?) to shed himself of his exterior armor plating.

Fire Chief's Countach <Red Alert> drives over at cruising speeds to investigate the strange sensor readings he's been getting from the area. He pulls up close to Pipes.

Dreadwind stares blankly the chance of godhood not exactly motivating him, well nothing else does, "Burden? Another one on top of all the others? Now i see this is just the universe creating another cruel jest, trying to make me have hope when there is none, there is only despair and darkness, eternal suffering and emptiness." Dreadwind looks up as if speaking to someone above, "You won't fool me that easily." With that he slumps to the ground.

Pipes is sitting crosslegged in a bunch of plants and flowers, and there are undoubtably rainbows. The best kind of rainbows. He has a white beard, a cape and a crossbow. His beard frowns at Red Alert, "Man! Don't harsh my mellow, /police man/, my bro Alpha Q, the Ghost King, is about to bare his soul to us and that is an important and moving thing that you wouldn't understand because you are the /law/ and you keep dudes like him /down/!"

Alpha Q stretches his arms out as Redshift approaches. "Excellent my herald, excellent. Now, remove my armour so that I may be free and find my replacement. It has... been too long, I wager." The metallic heads swivel and one stares at Pipes. "I grow impation little one, help me or I shall cut off your hands!"

Blot starts snoring it is taking so long to get the Alpha Q's clothes off. "This is the worst adult film Blot never watch because Hun-Grr says adults ownleee."

Redshift was never very good at puzzles, and prying apart Alpha Q's armor gives him a bit of trouble. Redshift would prefer to cut the armor off, but does not want to incurr the wrath of the formidable Alpha Q... Who will hopefully be less formidable without all of this armor. "Your will is my duty, Alpha Q." Redshift intones, as he continues to remove sections from the bizzare body of Alpha Q. "What is the next phase of your great plan, Alpha Q?"

"Hey, /bro/," Pipes says, climbing to his feet, holding his anti-ghost-crossbow with menace, "I am Pipes, and that means I am an Autobot, and that means I don't take kindly to, like, threats and stuff! Especially not from my friends." He looks down at his smokestacks. "And also it's not polite to point out other people's disabilities! And also yes, bro, I will help you because I am a good dude! Take note, Deceptiprawns, I'm gonna help shell this dude!" He steps up to Alpha Q or whatever he /really/ is

Frenzy pulls a HUGE can opener out of subspace and lugs it over to Redshift, the large metal object scratching the floor and throwing off sparks. "Here ya go ya no good traitor!" And with that, Frenzy spins around and launches the can opener at Redshift. ]

"Excellent" booms Alpha Q as the mechs remove his armour. "Excellent. Now, we can begin. I shall hand the reigns of this land over to one of you, to be in exile in my place, and I shall finally be free of this accursed realm, free to reenter the universe." As the plating is removed, perhaps you can see what is inside... what looks like darker plating, namely, the other side of the armour. There is nothing inside. Nothing at all.

Red Alert looks at Alpha Q and then at Dreadwind and Pipes, processing furiously. Surely it would be best to have a Bot in charge of this place and not a Con (or a Quint!). It might even be the only way to get out of this bizarre dimension. But on the other hand the only candidate is...Pipes? Known for the most violations of regulation and protocol this side of Sideswipe, that Pipes? Not sure if he would even be able to run this realm responsibly, let alone get them all out of here, that Pipes. Red Alert takes a few steps forward as if to back up the minibot. "Careful, Pipes..." he begins.

Blot's eyes light up as Alpha Q comes out of the armour. "BLOT LOVE LOBSTER!" he cries, drooling epically. His tongue slathers more foamy green spittle upon his lips as he begins to march zombie-like foreward

Known for his speed and well-tuned reflex protocols, Redshift ducks the incoming can opener. He glares at Frenzy, and in a single smooth motion, Redshift pulls out both his long, sleek gauss rifle and his imposing missile launcher. Both weapons point steadily at Frenzy, and Redshift's optics flare menacingly. "Pathetic cassette! You would dare to oppose the might of the herald of Alpha Q? I have destroyed more powerful mechs than you. You should *JOIN* Alpha Q, for he will control our world as he has controlled this one."

"Whoa, now, Officer Alert, sir, bro, guy dude... Alpha Q just needs our help! He is going to work for me at the museum and we're going to paint a mural and play Missile Command as loud as we want to! We'll stay up late! And you won't be able to shut me down this time because I am doing, like, a good deed!" Pipes says.

Dreadwind stares at the nothingness, "I knew it, so you did become nothing and yet you still held on to who you are, you must be a masochist. You actually enjoy carrying on trying to change things that you can't, i would have thought with your intellect you would be able to see that it's just eternal torment, torment that you bring upon yourself, torment without release."

The armour on one of Alpha Q's arms is now off, revealing... nothing, just a hole in the side of the armour through which you can see an empty shell. "He need not be careful!" Alpha Q booms at Red Alert. "He too will be my disciple in the world to come, standing by my side as we march out of this prison!"

Red Alert starts to answer Pipes, "Don't be ridiculous...!" He trails off when he notices that Alpha Q...doesn't have a body? Or at least doesn't have arms? Red looks at the others that are closest to Alpha Q, wondering if his senses are finally decieving him. "There must be some explanation for this!" he blurts. Then he starts to check for signs of holograms, cloaking devices, remote control signals for Alpha Q's armor, or any of the other tricks he's aware of that could account for this.

Redshift keeps one of his weapons pointed towards Frenzy, but he doesn't show any inclination to shoot the tape.. Not yet anyway. With his free hand he continues to remove pieces of Alpha Q's armor... Revealing nothing beneath. "Where would we go first, Lord, once you are free of this prison planet?" His voice falters slightly as he finds the nothingness undeneath the armor, but he continues regardless.

Pipes seems pretty content

Frenzy smackes his hands together and hurmps. "Well, that's what I get for trying to help, ya no good commie bastard!" The small red and black casseteicon then turns around, smacking his rump repeatadly in Redshifts direction and walks off.

"To Cybertron!" cries Alpha Q as he turns to face Red Alert, his body now a half dismantled shell. "What? What is the matter with you? I..." he catches a glance of his reflection in a shining wall and for once seems taken aback. "WHAT TREACHERY IS THIS?"

Frenzy spins back around and points a finger at Alpha Q. "HAHA, you don't have a body!"

"Ghost King! My museum is on Earth, bro! Unless we're going to open a branch on Cybertron... whoa... we could be like the McDonalds of museums! With our own parking lot and everything!" says Pipes.


"This is not your true form, my liege?" Redshift asks, with a perplexed expression on his face. Still holding a fragment of Alpha Q's armor in his hands, forgotten. "This place must have had an unknown side effect... Can't you 'will' your body back?"

Alpha Q's now only half-visible armoured faces swivel to Redshift, his voice quivering, one of panic as the very land itself rumbles. "What is this? Where AM I?" he cries. "Only in my true body can I leave this accursed place! Who has done this to me?" The very room itself starts to shake with his anger, eclipsing even the smooth hippy tones of Pipes

Dreadwind sighs dejectedly, "You said this place was corrosive, your armour was not enough, more evidence of your lack of divinity. All is gone except for your desire to escape but now there is no way for you to ever leave you are this place and this place is you. Eternity is yours, an eternity of your dream unfilled unable to do anything outside of here. Rage such a useless reaction, you can't do anything, accept it and sit and wait the universe will end eventually and you will see it."

Redshift glances quickly around the room, and he hopes the whole place doesn't come crashing down on his head. "You said this place was corrosive! It has eroded away your body, but not your SPIRIT. You can still go forth and conquer the outside world. There you can find a new body, and new troops to command!"

"Whoa, Red-Plane-Bro, the Ghost King doesn't want to conquer anything other than the high score on Missile Command!" Pipes says to Redshift. "Take off your tyrant-pants and put on your--- hey, the room is totally shaking!"

Blot cups his hands around his mouth to make his voice louder. "Pipes! Touch him in the swimsuit area. Blot see it on ghostbuster show! DO IT! DO IT!"

Parts of the ceiling start to crumble as Alpha Q turns to Dreadwind. "Is this it? Trapped in a prison of my own making, with death the only way out? Then perhaps..." The half built hollow creature rears up. "Perhaps you should die with me..."

Blot says, "And tell him you love him! That work in Ghost! Blot hate swayze! MOAR LIEK GAYZE!""

Pipes, to his credit, seems more concerned with not dying by the hand of an evil ceiling. "Whoa, Blot-bro, I don't roll like that! Pluse he's not set no_consent!"

Redshift taks a step back from Alpha Q, eyeig the crumbling surroundings. His optics flicker towards his 'offering' for Alpha Q, but who knows what would happen if he activated it? "Alpha Q! Send me back to Earth, I'll find a way to reverse what's happened... Or bring you a new body you can possess!"

Dreadwind gets to his feet and purposely addresses the ceiling rather than what's left of the connected armour apparently waiting to die on his feet, well at least that's a little effort, "Perhaps you can destroy yourself but you should know that even that is no release. Those of us that comprehend the enormity of life, we know that you can't truely escape whether you love it or loathe it, it is just there to torment and confound us. It is better to give up and lie still, why fight the inevitable it's not as if you can change it any way, just let it happen."

Frenzy looks around with his hands on his hips as everything crumbles around him. "Well this is just GREAT..the giant floating lemon turned to gas and now we're all gonna be permanently deactivated cause he can't remember which suit he left his ugly body in!" All the while with the small Decepticon side-stepping falling debris.

Alpha Q's remaining claw starts to spasm open and closed as the crumbling ceiling halts somewhat. "And what peace is there in surrender?" he croaks. "I see now I am already dead, a figment of my own will. How can one destroy that which is... eternal. Will this suffering ever end?" The final phrase is directed towards Dreadwind as more of a question. "When hope is gone, what is left?"

Blot thinks about it for a moment and responds to Alpha Q "Uh... FART?" Blot does then fart, BFWEEEEET. He laughs.

Frenzy screams "Cake!"

"Hope is never gone, because it is like the universe, hope is atomic and we are made of atoms and I know science!" Pipes pipes up!

Quickswitch has been here the whole time, returned by the grace of animators. He listens to the Alpha Q regarding Dreadwind with an equal, empty frankness, "I've been there," he replies to the being, "When hope is gone, you have your own servos and mechanisms and blasters and whoever mechs remaining are at your side--" he pauses, considering, "Your comrades."

"There is still desire," Redshift replies. "The desire for adventure, conquest, riches, the desire..." Redshift says, a little down-trodden. His own existence has been little more than mere survival. ".. To survive."

Quickswitch turns and looks at Redshift suddenly. What a strange reply for a Decepticon. What a strange reply at all.

Dreadwind holds his pose, "Hope? You speak of hope, that is just a figment, an illusion of a fevered mind ment to trap us and make us carry on pointlessly. To give up, to surrender hope is to give up on everything, to sit in the dark, alone, the peace of nothingness the comfort of the void. Perhaps that is the only true and final release from our pained existence in the universe, when we finally stop thinking and become nothing, that will be the final end, the end of everything."

Frenzy looks around at the lot of them from up near Alpha Q. "Why the hell are you girl scouts trying to cheer him up!?! I say BLAST HIM!" With that the deranged little red and black figure spins around, drawing his gun and shooting towards where Alpha Q would be..if he were there!

Frenzy strikes you with SUPA HUGA DEATH RAY for 9 points of damage.

Slowly, Alpha Q takes in the words of each in turn. "Perhaps..." he says slowly, gratingly, his voice now no longer a booming presence. "Perhaps you are all right. I am alone, and I am dead and yet I live, and with that knowledge comes true satisfaction, of a kind. We are made of atoms little one..." his remaining shell turns to Pipes. "We are all the stuff of stars, and we hold the potential of the universe inside us. Perhaps it is time to... let go. I will start again, anew here." His form snaps up at Dreadwind. "Create a land that I do not control, where there will be hope for others, if not for me. And to find meaning in myself through others, but not through their orders. Now... begone!"

He snaps a clawed hand at Quickswitch. "I will spare your world, for it is a place I can no longer touch. The black hole will dissipate with your passing. But heed my words. Do not be chained to your ambition as I was, or it may too turn out to be hollow. And take your chained sixchanging /pet/ with you, it reminds me too much of my brothers!" And at that, everything starts to fade out again, but in a brigher, whiter light, Alpha Q and the land becoming transparent until grass is now underfoot, with a calm wind blowing, and a blue sky. Yes, back in Washington State! For real, this time!

"I... already miss him..." says Pipes.

Warmonger shakes his head. "What a ponce," he mutters, climbing out of a crater in the ground. "A TRUE tyrant would have simply annihilated all who stood in his path!"

Perversely disappointed that he was not annihilated in the name of universal domination, Warmonger walks off into the sunset.

Redshift find himself back on the grimly mudball planet 'Earth', and more than a little unnerved at his response to the dispair of Alpha Q. He was just playing along, of course. "I wonder what would happen if I push this button..." He muses, his finger hovering over the detonator. "Probaly wouldn't work, anyway."

Blueshift too starts to stir, waking up on the ground, lying in the grass. "Nnn I had an awful dream" he mutters. "I dreamt that I was ripped in ha- aaaw no." He looks down, to see half his torso missing, then thumps his head down onto the ground

Quickswitch's optics blink as the claw points accusingly at him and the being's comments from out of nowhere. A second later, he's... confused, but back home, looking around overtop of everyone present, his blasters raised... but there's no longer anything there.

Michael Briar has been watching silently off in the distance. As he reappears back on earth, he shakes his head, climbs into his exo-suit, and takes off for Alameda.

Redshift starts dragging Blueshift's dismembered corpse. "Why am I always saving your butt, Blue?" He grumbles, but keeps on dragging. He needs Blueshift to make himself look good.

Frenzy falls out of the sky and lands on blueshift. "Owhh, my aft!" He yells as he rubs his..well..aft

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