Comic Book Shop of Doom

Who: Americon, Raindance, Powerglide, Charles Asgeir, Blitzwing, Astrotrain, Cyclonus, Barrage, Grimlock, Silverbolt
IC Year: 2029
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
TP: Human Nature


Summary: Cyclonus orders the Decepticons, even the humanized ones, to attack Omaha, Nebraska!

<Earth> Omaha Action News says, "Crap! Decepticons! Oh no-SXKSKKSKSKSKZKZKZKZKSKSKXXXXXXXX"


A purple jet plane from the future soars overhead. Luckily, this is the future, so it all evens out. Leading a pack of Decepticons who are either not played or are just goobers who will never be appable like Sunstorm, with various other forces arriving in different packs or via ground, Cyclonus transforms and descends, landing atop a Marriott Inn. "DECEPTICONS!" he bellows, using the hotel as a mount to preach from: "RAZE THIS CITY TO THE GROUND! Even the HUMANIZED among us must take part -- render this land one of CHAOS and RUIN! Take everything you can -- give them nothing -- but OBLIVION!"

To the cheers of Sunstorm and Buzzsaw, et al., Cyclonus takes out his laser gun and blows up a Burger King.

MiG-25 "Foxbat" offers Americon a tiny laser rifle and a belt of grenades as he touches down. "Here you go, li'l guy, go wild." He has a soft spot for the tapes.

With a loud clanging and clunking Blitzwing rearranges himself into his imposing humanoid form.

Charles Asgeir has arrived.

Keith Howard drives into the city on his Harley, since he lacks the ability to turn into a bald eagle. Parking next to Blitzwing, he oooo's as he grabs the weapons from the triple-changer. "Excellent! Every American should have a gun, and the bigger and more dangerous the gun is, the better!" After strapping the grenades across his chest, he fires the laser rifle into a comic book store shop, exploding the glass door at the front. Charging inside, Keith yells, "Attention, nerds! I require all of your rare cards, and you will give them to me, or die... in America!"

Raindance has arrived.

With a loud -FWOOOSH-, the mighty Insecticon known as Barrage lands on the ground nearby the inn Cyclonus has chosen to make his stand on. The beetle swiftly shifts into a garrishly green and yellow robot with guns firing into the air, red optics blazing. "DEATH to humans and their filthy capitalist ways!! BURN EVERYTHING!! HAIL BOMBSHELL!" Apparently not realizing his mistake, Barrage's high-tech hip-crotch cannons swivel, blasting a nearby Bob Evans in a hellacious explosion.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> has arrived.

Blitzwing, who is pushing over buildings by kicking their corners in like Killdozer, pauses to wonder what DID happen to Bombshell, anyhow. The world may never know!

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> folds each pod under itself and unfolds to lay down forming its hovertank mode.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> unfolds each pod under itself forming arms and legs, the nose folds down revealing a head which flashes its lone optic.

A dark cloud follows behind the other flying Decepticons, at first glance you might think it to be a lone human jet coming to the rescue. Unfortunately it isn't, it's just Dreadwind being ostracised, as usual, by his supposed comrades, "Yeah great, fly in, blow everything up and then what? Hope that they finally give in after countless cycles of resistance, it's not going to work."

Across the landscape drives a really sweet car - it is Rhiannon, driving at top speed, looking rather grumpy at the whole misunderstanding at Autobot City. "Stupid Bumblebee, stupid Andi!" she mutters, the horrible thought in her mind that Powerglide might be her only real friend. Pushing such horrific thoughts to the back of her mind, she tunes her radio into the distress calls, driving straight towards the epicentre of the trouble

Powerglide has arrived.

Durango has arrived.

Shortly after the earth channel in Omaha gets static......a lone concorde literally zooms overhead. of course...he finds the decepticons rather easily from his vantage point.

Grimlock arrives from the Northwestern State region far to the west.

Grimlock has arrived.

Bumblebee arrives from the Northwestern State region far to the west.

Bumblebee has arrived.

Durango shifts down into SUV mode.

Mr. Durango, noticeably absent from most of the human proceedings thus far, is currently inside "Dom & Tracy's Bakery and Coffeteria," seated alone at a table filled with various types of muffins. He is, apparently, not listening to the news, and his presence in Omaha is just one of those sad, scary coincidences.

"Never!" one of the comic book store patrons yells at Keith Howard. "We'll never give you our rare cards! Yahhh!" He charges at Keith, and the other patrons follow suit and bring Keith to the ground. Soon they're all dogpiling on top of Keith, who is struggling to push them off, but even his beefy body can't push off all that weight. "Arggh! Can't.... move... can't... breathe... smells really bad... what a horrible way to die... in America!" He looks off to the side, where his rifle was dropped. "Must... get... gun..."

As Decepticons large and small, metal and flesh, beautiful and ugly (BARRAGE) swarm Omaha, Cyclonus laughs proudly from his position atop the Marriott. "HA!" he laughs, proudly. "I am proud of this army -- our might will crush any who oppose us -- and who will, once they see that Omaha, Nebraska is nothing more than just a pockmark on the face of America?!" He does not yet see the concorde flying above.

The skies above Nebraska are full of Decepticons. This is unfortunate for the people of Nebraska!

Of course, there are also heroes on the way to this embattled state! Noble champions of robotic and human justice! Toiling away for truth, justice and the American way!

And then there's Charles. A flash of red announces his arrival, and then he announces his arrival a second time with the use of the Warthog's loudspeaker function. "This is Corporal Charles Asgeir of the Earth Defense Command. You are in violation of approximately three dozen different laws and strictures, none of which I particularly feel like enumerating today! So, if you will all lay down your guns, lightning chainsaws and guns which shoot lightning chainsaws, I can get about the business of arresting you all and be back to base in time for Who Wants TO Marry An American Idol."

Astrotrain has arrived.

Blitzwing is picking up parked cars and turning them upside down. Just think of the look on their their owners' faces when they notice! "It was kind of already a pockmark, Cyclonus," he points out.

The Skies are full of Decepticons! And...well, at least one Autobot. Grimlock soars through the skies like a very ungraceful plane or a blimp- finally coming to hit the ground with a *THOOM!*

"So what septi-cons want again?" he asks of Bumblebee, setting the teeny tiny humie-bot on the ground.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance stops her car to gaze at Cyclonus, getting rather different feelings in her belly... the feelings of wanting to draw pictures of him as a girl with little cat ears and a school uniform and put it on deviantart. Shaking those feelings aside, she revs the engine and drives as fast as possible up a handy ramp made of a flattened billboard, leaping out of the car and rolling as it soars through the air in the direction of the bunny-eared monster

"I dont know. I think I see Cyclonus!" Joe Bumble says as he points to the top of the Marriott. "Cyclonus was reported having hid Galvatron somewhere. If we capture him, we can learn where Galvatron is!" He says to the Dinobot.

Raindance succeeds in grasping Cyclonus, throwing it off-balance.

Blissfully unaware of the approaching Autobots, human and FUTURE ROBOTS IN THE FUTURE, Barrage stomps across Omaha with hip guns a-blazin'. "This will forever be a SCAR upon this pitiful mudball of a planet! Scorch the buildings -- scorch the humans. Don't leave anything or anyone standing...!" In emphasis of this, Barrage picks up a nearby car, flinging it into a Wachovia building with hellacious gunfire to follow, exploding the automobile in a roar of fire. "Beautiful!!"

"Silence, Blitzwing -- do not ruin my moment!" When Charles starts blah-blah-blahing about laws and junk he fires a warning shot at the Red Tiger's vehicle. "Do not trifle with me, human! I will end your path--" Cyclonus is caught off-guard by a car striking him in the chest, causing him to fall onto his ass. "Argh!"

Since Cyclonus doesn't see the Concorde above....he's probably going to be rather rattled by the sonic boom that follows the Concorde's flight. However, rather than fire on Cyclonus......his radio clicks to life. <<Cyclonus, you really should stop this madness.>>

F-16 Falcon flies over the city Dreadwind doesn't really seem to be interested in the mayhem and destruction, well either that or he really just can't be bothered, it took a lot out of him just to be dragged along here in the first place. "Of course this mission is completely doomed the Autobots and fleshies in a can will swarm from under their rocks and swamp us, the survivors shall envy those that go offline."

Grimlock hmms, and peers down (and down, and down) at Joe Bumble. "Hr. Me Grimlock say capturing Cyclonus easy to say, hard to do." maybe if he had ALL the Dinobots with him, but, well...that's another point entirely.

And so, Grimlock goes a stomping through the town...only to round a corner...and come up behind Barrage. The Dinobot peers at the rampaging 'con for a few moments...and then taps on his shoulder, none to gently...even as he pulls out his sword with his other hand. Uh oh.

Powell Glyde is in hot pursuit of Raindance, his palms sweating, his chest heaving, his legs pumping madly as he chases after her on a tricycle. "RAINDANCE, WAIT!"

Blitzwing watches Powerglide teeter past huffing and sweating. "I guess there must've been some pies left over after Cosmos' rampage after all." Mr. Durango continues eating his bonanza of baked boullion, blissfully unaware of all that is happening outside.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance continues rolling on the ground from the momentum, eyes lighting up as she sees the car striking Cyclonus, before slamming like a fly into the window of the girly comic shop that Americon is inside. "Blaaaargh!" she shouts, as she tries to peel herself off the window, giddily

"Hey, /hey/," Charles calls sternly, drifting out of the way of Cyclonus' lasers. "The only person who gets to end my path is Paula Abdul, Jr. No purple people eater from space gets to talk to /me/ that way."

The Warthog hovers down towards Cyclonus' rooftop, and Charles takes a precious moment to make it cross its arms and cock its head, as if it were indignant. "Now I have asked you nicely to surrender! If you keep up this behaviour I will have to stab you with this lance and then also shoot you with my many guys. I'm kind of a big deal, you know."

Laser blasts rip out of the comic store at random, and a bunch of pasty overweight guys pour out of the store, shouting and screaming. Moments later, Keith Howard emerges, his arms overflowing with foil packs of game cards. "Haha! Through superior firepower, I have prevailed! However, I will need a shower to get the smell out!" He glances to the left at the odd woman stuck to the window. "I would peel you off, madame, but as you can see, my arms are full! However, I have another solution!" He kicks a boot at the window, intending to smash it into little pieces. "There you go! You are free!"

Powell Glyde tries to go over the ramp that Raindance launched off of, only to teeter on the edge for a few moments before falling onto his face. He sees a woman riding a bicycle, a small dog in the basket above the front wheel, and runs over to her, waving his arms around. She stops to look at him in confusion, only to be smacked in the face by a fist. "I learned this from Grand Theft Auto!" Powerglide screams before shoving the stunned woman off the bike, taking it for himself, and then rushing to the comic shop. The puppy just cries.

Barrage's glowing red eyes are distracted from his, well, barrage of firepower only when a metal hand taps on his shoulder with a series of clangs. Barrage's optics flicker, as if blinking. And then, without hesitating, or even knowing who stands behind him, the Insecticon turns, and fires off one large laser beam at the offending target. "How dare you touch me while I am in the midst of bringing ruin --" and then he sees who it is. Barrage pauses. Considers. "-- you ignorant, primitive peace of -junk-." And then he continues blasting at Grimlock. "HAIL CYCLONUS!"

When the sonic boom ripples over Omaha, shattering quite a large amount of glass in the downtown area, Cyclonus is bowled backward, off the roof of the Marriott and turning the outdoor pool into a crater. The car falls too, doinking him on the head and causing him to growl. He climbs up the building like King Kong, throwing the car away so it bounces, rolls, and slams into the side of the restaurant where Durango is eating. Cyclonus then bellows: "I will not surrender! And you may be a 'big deal,' human germ, but you will never be as big a deal as I, forged in the fires of Unicron's maw, herald to his destruction! It is /you/ who should consider surrendering -- you and your Autobot friends!"

Parts spin, components shift and Astrotrain's body grows in size until he is an enormous space shuttle.

Decepticon Shuttle <Astrotrain> is late to the party. As usual. This is getting to be a habit, isn't it? But then again, it's like the school bully who keeps sleeping between classes. And that would definetely account for this case, because he's not entirely sure what all the shooting is about to begin with, having missed any sort of briefing.

Not that Astrotrain ever needs an excuse to indulge in a little random violence. Such it is that he rockets towards the scene at full thrust oh so eagerly.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance shudders as the glass is kicked, and slowly falls onto her back on the ground heavily, staring into the air. She can get a really great view of the fight between Cyclonus and Charles as she lies there. "Ah, at least Powerglide isn't here!" she smiles

Concorde SST <Silverbolt> flys towards Cyclonus and....slows his flight before transforming and landing near him. "Cyclonus....I'm not asking you to surrender. What I'm about to ask concerns your sweeps."

  • ZORCH!*

Barrage's blasts hit Grimlock! But he just soaks up the abuse- at least, at first. As within a moment, he moves with the sort of speed that big Dinobots definitely should not have- as he moves to grab Barrage by the head with one hand, so as to lift him up off the ground...and jam his sword straight into the Decepticon with the other!

"Me Grimlock say you talk too much."

The sonic boom also discomfits Charles Asgeir, and he wrestles with the controls of his futuristic flying contraption to try and keep it in the air. Once turbulence passes, he frowns. "Some of these Autobots are just as careless with our property as the Decepticons," he mutters, before flipping the loudspeaker back to 'on'.

"Blah blah blah, Unicron has gotten beat up and sent into the nether what, five times now? Seven? You may be 'forged in his maw' but all that makes you is used up chewing gum, as far as I'm concerned."

Cyclonus pointedly glares at Silverbolt. "/Scourge's/ Sweeps."

Blitzwing kicks over the local Citgo's diesel pump, sending employees and patrons fleeing for their lives. They know what's coming next. "He really was forged in a maw, too. Oh hey, A-train!" Blitzwing waves as he tromps away and tosses a giant book of matches over his shoulder towards the pooling diesel fuel. WHOOMPH

Joe Bumble looks to see a familiar human taking a bike. He moves to the puppy and woman, handing the woman the dog. "Get to safety, find a basement." He says before leaving to try and escort more people somewhere to hide.

In a chorus of shifting and spinning parts, Astrotrain's body spins and lifts up into his large robot mode.

Silverbolt changes into his robot mode.

Astrotrain transforms as he flies over the other triplechanger, landing just as the explosion engulfs the area behind him, enough that it causes a glinting flicker to play across his purple hide. "So not that I'm complainin really..." He offers up, producing his rifle and balancing it on one shoulder. "...but what're we shootin this place up for anyway?"

Keith Howard nods at the woman. "Indeed, woman I recall from somewhere! That Powerglide is a big jerk!" Having added his two cents, he leans forward and tries to bite one of the foil packs in his arms. "Rrrrngh, openf, dammfit, openf!" Keith doesn't notice Powell Glyde approaching as of yet, so fixated is he on his children's card game.

Powell Glyde reaches the comic shop at that exact moment, hitting on his brakes right in front of Raindance's downed body, the puppy in the basket going flying out of the basket and over the shop from the sudden change in momentum. "Hey, girl, there you are! I still need to beat you up, so stand still so I can run you over."

Silverbolt shrugs quietly. "Scourge's...yours. Whatever. The Fact of the matter is....There are decepticons in trouble. For all you know, Galvatron could be in one of these buildings."

Cyclonus succeeds in grasping Silverbolt, throwing him off-balance.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance grabs the puppy with one hand as she leaps to her feet and in one bound, vaults over Powell and the bike, throwing the puppy back into the basket at the apex of the jump. "We can settle our differences later, there is evil afoot!" she utters, pointing at Keith Howard. "Take me there Powell, take me now!" she leaps onto the back of the bike, and against her better judgement, wraps her arms around the minibot

Mr. Durango is about to shove a whole raisin-nut-bran muffin in his mouth when Raindance's raindance-less car comes careening through the wall of the bakery. He pauses long enough to shout "Crikey!", then continues to place the muffin into his mouth. Taking a blueberry muffin in one hand, and putting some money on the table with the other, he makes his way to the door to see what the bajeesus is going on outside.

Cyclonus shoves Silverbolt on the chest standoffishly. "I know where Galvatron is, you cretin," he says. "Don't treat me as if I am a fool." If the shoe fits...

Grimlock might move fast, but he's still big and clunky and Barrage is comparatively tinier. If it were anyone else, they might have gotten out of the way just fine. But Barrage doesn't -- the only reason being that he's still firing directly at Grimlock, shooting blast after blast with his hip cannons at a precise point on Grimlock's chest. When he's grabbed and hefted he's still firing -- and when he's stabbed, he's still firing, albeit with sparking and "GYAA *kzzzaaat* AAAAA *zzzzzzrrrt* AAA"s going on at the same time. But god bless him, Barrage is still shooting. "For -- kkt -- the DECEPTICON ARMY! FEEL RUIN, YOU OVERLY -- zzt -- FAT AND CUMBERSOME FOOL!"

The fact that Silvbolt hasn't SHOT Cyclonus by now is...something else. "Really? and what's his condition? Does he still have his cannon?"

Keith Howard looks up at the humie-bots quizzically, and tries to speak even though he still has the foil pack between his teeth. "Eefil? Fwhere? F'im fan Amferican, anf nerefore noff eefil!"

The mournful cloud of depression that is Dreadwind continues to fly above the city the soft caress of his passing shadow seemingly bringing the next fusillade of Decepticon destruction along with it. All the while his dull voice moans on, "See, they flee in fear even at the end, even with their release from the torments of this life and the starting of the new, they still do not comprehend."

"Fine, fine, you giant robot boys have giant robot makeouts or whatever it is you're planning to do," Charles says, leaving Silverbolt and Cyclonus to their conversation. He pilots the Warthog over to a conflagration he noticed a few blocks away, and sees.. TRIPLE-CHANGERS. "My my, if it isn't the fancy lads," the loudspeaker booms. "Do you mind putting out that fire? I would but I need to prepare the giant handcuffs with which to arrest you afterwards."

Bumblebee has disconnected.

Blitzwing shrugs at Astrotrain by way of response, shooting a bus as it goes by. "Well, you know how Cyclonus was in deep space or whatever with Galvatron? Cyc came back like an hour ago and now he's got no weaknesses, nigh-limitless strength in direct proportion to his need, and no interests other than conquest. So we're conquering! I think this is just the first town he spotted in the phone book or whatever."

Grimlock grunts- and the sustained fire on one point of Grimlock's chestplate begins to have effect, and he shudders, taking a step backwards...though there's still the matter that he's got a sword stuck through the insecticon. "Grr. Me no have time for you!" he says- and then, he yanks his sword out of the bad guy (none too gently, either), and rears back with his other hand to THROW the con as far as he can in a random direction!

Hey, maybe he'll land on somebody else!

Blitzwing looks down at the fat little human tank-robot thing talking to himself and Astrotrain and laaaaughs. "You can TRY," is all he'll allow.


Cyclonus throws a dart at a globe.


"If you think I will tell you anything about Galvatron, Silverbolt, you are even stupider than I had previously imagined you." Cyclonus folds his arms, looking smug and contemptuous. "Go ahead. /Tell/ me what you wanted to say. Let's /talk/. Like /reasonable/ robots."

"No weaknesses? Limitless strength?" Astrotrain murmurs at that, watching as Blitzwing shoots a bus nearby. "Somethin strange goin on around here!" Talk about a master of understatements. And then the shadow of Dreadwind passes overhead.

"Look! It's Chuckles! HEY CHUCKLES! Ya here to spread yer good cheer to the rest of us!? HAW HAW HAW!"

And then he turns around as well as the Warthog addresses him and Blitzwing both, blinking a few times then glancing back at the other triplechanger and jerking a thumb towards the human mecha. " he fer real? I mean, really?"

Powell Glyde grins, and moves his palms on the handlebars as if he's revving it, except he can't because it's a bicycle. "Leave it to me, babe!" He begins to peddle furiously towards the AMERICAN, making motorcycle vrooooooom noises.

Silverbolt snerks at that. "I didn't expect you to actually. ALL I want is for you to stop this. What happens AFTER what Galvatron will do when his body is returned." He then looks to Americon. "or did you not notice Americon's....condition."


"But I /don't/ think maths is rad!" moans Rhiannon as she tries on another top and sucks from a pixie stick, pulling a face. "The only thing I hate more is children's card games!"


Rhiannon whoops as she holds onto Powell for dear life, rocking the bike violently as she points over his shoulder at Americon. "He's totally going down!"

Firing hapazardly and with little regard for his own personal safety, Barrage continues to fire upon Grimlock until he finds the sword -forcefully- ripped from his midsection. "Ggkt!" he manages with a crackle of energon. Soon after, he's being flung like a ragdoll through the air. "I'LL KILL YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--"

Seconds later, Barrage lands with a deafening BOOM through the roof of a far-off building. People in the room he's collapsed in are all scattered, but one approaches, offering a pamphlet. "Would you like to learn about -- about scientology?" "zzkt."

"That's what it said on the press release I nabbed from Turtlor, anyhow," asides Blitzwing. "I don't know how much 'limitless' really is, I mean he's no Trypticon." He raises his voice so the human can hear (he could hear before too). "Hey, meatlump, are you for real or what?"

"What will happen, Silverbolt," Cyclonus says, "is that Earth will fall to us or die resisting, just as it would otherwise. You will never stop that, and you will never stop us. Perhaps you would like to take this moment to prepare a formal surrender. I'm sure that we can arrange some form of clemency for the Aerialbots -- you seem well suited to asteroid mining."

"I assure you robo-gentlemen that I am as real as they come," Charles replies through the loudspeakers, pulling something out of subspace behind the Warthog's back. It is, in fact, a giant pair of handcuffs. He jingles the huge metal links meaningfully. "These aren't going to clamp /themselves/ around your wrists, you know. It would really be helpful if you'd just put them on yourselves."

Keith Howard spits out the foil card as he replies to Silverbolt. "Actually I am feeling just FINE! That is because I am in good shape! I bench press half my body weight every day, because you never know when you'll have to DUEL!" Unfortunately, he is distracted enough that he doesn't notice the human-bots ramming into him at a fearsome 10 mph until it is too late. "Arrgh!" Keith cries as he is knocked to the side, and back through the door of the comic shop. The foil packs he had been carrying go flying. "NO! MY RARE CARDS! Well... I don't know if there's actually any in there, yet, but there's bound to be a few!"

"Does this usually work with other Decepticons?" asks Blitzwing, simultaneously baffled and inspired to try it himself.

"One down." Grimlock rumbles, and then he starts off through the streets once more- he takes a moment to peer upwards at Cyclonus & Silverbolt...and then shrugs it off. Silverbolt's tough enough to fend for himself!

Almost as an afterthought, he rubs at the scorch-mark on his chestplate that Barrage so thoughtfully gave him. "Hrn. That hurt." he rumbles- and then he stompstompstomps through the city- transforming to his dinosaur mode...and rounding another corner to stand behind Charlie- in full view of the Triplechangers, but not of the human!

With a grunt and a growl, Grimlock changes into a robot T-rex! Watch out.

Astrotrain is silent for a long moment as he just *stares* at the Warthog. Finally he simply raises his hand towards Blitzwing. "The winner gets to stomp him flat!"

IT's Rock paper scissors time!

Not to be confused with Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

With a baseball bat!

Silverbolt says, "really? Would you kill Galvatron as well, Cyclonus? Last I heard...he's a terran now....and he's running. Out. Of. Time." he then shakes his head. "Or would you rather have a race of beings come down on us....that can switch our bodies with humans....and then turn off our bodies. Would you like that?""

Blitzwing nods with a suddenly intense expression. Speed lines swirl around Blitzwing and Astrotrain alike as Blitz slaps his fist into his palm. "One! Two! And..." he displays PAPER. "Three!"


Durango sat inside a bakery, eating a blueberry muffin.


Durango stands outside a bakery, eating a blueberry muffin.

"The only person running out of time here is you, Silverbolt, if you continue to test my patience with your blather." Cyclonus pointedly raises his laser rifle and takes a couple wide shots, one of which amazingly shoots the muffin right out of Durango's hand without touching his skin. "The Decepticons will destroy any who oppose us. At any cost -- we will prevail."

Powell Glyde pumps his fist in the air as he rams into Keith, "God, I am SO awesome!" He leans towards the left and makes a U-Turn back towards the shop Keith was knocked into, running over his cards in the process. He continues making the vroom noise as he BUSTS through the doors, the puppy in his basket barking threateningly.

"You would be surprised," Charles replies, sounding a little disappointed. "Very well, we can do this the 'hard' way instead." The Warthog flings the handcuffs aside, and they vanish dramatically into subspace a few meters from the robot's outstretched hand.

The red Warthog drops into a fighting stance, the tri-barrel gattling laser moving up onto its right shoulder and hands closing into fists. "Which one of you Three-Stooges-In-One is first?" he asks, bouncing back and forth in the air, as if preparing for a boxing match.

Silverbolt shakes his head. "Fine Cyclonus. If that's the way you want it.....I'll make sure Galvatron will enjoy the comfort it brings when he's throwing up blood." he says before turning his back on Cyclonus, transforming and rocketing into the air.

Silverbolt transforms into his plane mode

Astrotrain also slaps his hand into his open palm as the dramatic Triplechanger faceoff takes place! "One! Two! Three!" And with that, he lifts up his hand.


Crickets chirp for a second as they stare at each other. "...HAH! Rock breaks through paper!" Waaaait a minute. 

Before he can give Blitzwing a chance to think about that one, Astrotrain promptly pushes the other Triplechanger into a nearby building. "Hah! Squishies dressin up in metal shells and pretendin they're Autobots. Disgustin! I'll take ya down, half-pint!" With that, he lets loose with a stream of low powered shots from his rifle, sending a scattering of energy bolts screeching down the street towards the Warthog.

Cyclonus waves goodbye to Silverbolt as the Aerialbot flies away. And then shoots his laser canon at an elementary school, since his opposition just flew off!

Astrotrain strikes Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> Robot with Pewpewpew!.

Silverbolt has left.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance leans down to grab some cards that she tears up, before leaping off the bike and onto the top of a shelf, where she starts to pelt Americon with CGC-graded silver age comics. "Take this! And this! And an Amazo to the head!" she shouts, in danger of becoming dizzy from all the nerd-sweat hanging about the area!

Raindance succeeds in grasping Keith Howard, throwing him off-balance.

Robot T-Rex! (Grimlock) hmms, and just waits for the two triplechangers to argue and do their little game- and he wags his tail a little bit, ready to go smash...only to peer up at Cyclonus which point he sorta roams off. "You Humie not die!" he says, tromping off- "Me have better things to do!"

ANd with that, he transforms to his robot mode, and flies up towards the top of Cyclonus' tower. "What you want?" he says, 'filling in' for Silverbolt, as it were.

There's a flurry of moving parts, and Grimlock changes to his robot mode!

Mr. Durango is slightly startled as his muffin disappvaporates in his hand, and looks up to the building where Cyclonus stands, and fistshakes with all the might he can muster.

Upon seeing Durango shake a fist at him, Cyclonus makes this D:< face and leaps down to the ground, towering over the Aussie faux-human. "Do I need to educate you in /proper manners/, slime?"

Blitzwing pinwheels his arms as he stumbles backwards and falls through a Blockbuster Video, sending pre-watched copies of Gigli, Something's Gotta Give, and Alone in the Dark scattering all over the street for just $9.99 each or 4 for $20. "But I thought..." he mutters at the sky, mulling that over. Doesn't laser incinerate paper? Now he's not so sure.

Keith Howard deflects the priceless comics that are horrifically wrinkled upon impact with his forearms, and barely dodges out of the way of the bike and ferocious canine attachment. "Your feeble attack makes me laugh!" He runs over to the miniatures section and starts tearing some of them out of their packets. "Here, silly woman, face the wrath of Abaddon, Despoiler of Worlds!" Keith tosses a ridiculously spiky pewter figure at Rhiannon, then tosses a miniature at Powell that looks like some sort of a holy steampunk robot. "And YOU, meet your end at the hands of the Protectorate... of Menoth!"

"Rock does /not/ break through paper," Charles says sternly, moving the Warthog's hands to rest on its hips. Of course, while he's taking the time to do this, Astrotrain shoots him with laser bolts. "Agh!" he grunts, rocking forward against the restraint harness and scrambling to pull the mobile robot suit into action. "Okay, fine, we'll do this with lasers," Charles says through gritted teeth, sending the red Warthog dashing forwards with surprising speed for such a clunky machine. The gatling laser on its shoulder begins to spin, then fires off a few quick laser bolts of its own towards Astrotrain.

When Grimlock flies up, Cyclonus sighs. "You Autobots need better tactics. No, I will not tell you anything, no I will not surrender, and no, I will not breathe a word of Galvatron to you, because not only do you not need to know, you don't /deserve/ to know." Upon seeing Durango shake a fist at him, Cyclonus makes this D:< face -- "Excuse me," he says to Grimlock -- and leaps down to the ground, towering over the Aussie faux-human. "Do I need to educate you in /proper manners/, slime?"

Mr. Durango really, /really/, wishes he had another muffin right now.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> misses Astrotrain with its laser attack.

And as soon as Cyclonus goes to the ground, Grimlock peer down at the con, and siiiighs. "Work never done." he says...and with that, he simply steps off of the marriot...aiming to land right on Cyclonus!

Grimlock can get to the ground much, much faster than flying in the first place. *BOOM!*

Powell Glyde is struck in the nose with the miniature and begins to lose control of his bike as he barrels down an isle of Gundams and Revoltechs. "Arrrgh!" he crashes his bike into a Lord of the Rings display and falls over, an oversized (and overpriced) Gollum thudding on the floor beside him. He grabs the hairy statue and throws it at Keith, "Think fast!"

Cyclonus is about to vaporize Durango when Grimlock lands on him, squashing him into the ground like a cartoon coyote. Whoops.

Astrotrain jinks from left, to right, then left and left again. It's a move he often uses on Autoots and it works just as well on humans too! At least in his mind. In the end, the laserbolts scream past where he was a moment ago as he ducks low and shifts to one side as the EDC war machine gets up close and personal. "Well why didn't ya say ya wanted a proper dance!?" he shouts out oh so gleefully, pivoting about with a near dancer's grace that belies his large, powerful form as he quite literally steps about and kicks out with one large boot at the Warthog's lower half, moving to kick it's feet right out from under it. "Squishies got no business playin war! Just run and scream and hide like yer best at doin!"

Astrotrain strikes Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> Robot with kick.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is knocked off the shelf by the statue, a small hand reaching up to grab whatever she can... and in this case it is a CGC collectable MUFFIN. Slowly, she staggers to her feet to glare at Americon. "You... messed... up... my... AWESOME... MATHS IS RAD shirt!" she shouts, hurling the encased muffin at the diminutive foe. Whether it hits or not, the packaging is likely to break, releasing the delicious waft of collectable muffin to anyone outside to might like muffins

Raindance succeeds in grasping Keith Howard, throwing him off-balance.

Powerglide succeeds in grasping Keith Howard, throwing him off-balance.

Mr. Durango tips his oversized Paul Hogan hat at Grimlock. "Thank yeh!" He then runs away.

....right into a comics store.

Yes, /that/ comics store.

Grimlock pauses, and glances around, finally settling his eyes on Durango. "Where him Cyclonus go?" he asks, shifting himself about on the squooshed Decepticon! Maybe on purpose.

Astrotrain has reconnected.

Keith Howard cries out as Powell Glyde strikes him in the chest with a Gollum statue, and yells, "NO! That thing looks valuable! Maybe even precious..." He stoops over to pick it up and look for scratches, only to have a glass encased muffin smash across his head. "AAAAGH!" Clutching his head, he runs for the cover of a gaming table with various bits of styrofoam terrain on it, and flips it over for cover. "It's a good thing my head is protected by the American flag!" Keith says to himself as he peeks over the upturned table. "Otherwise that muffin may have killed me!"

"Auuuuguuggh" Cyclonus moans beneath Grimlock's feet. "It was not meant... to end... like this..."

Astrotrain has reconnected.

"Hm, you are fast," Charles notes, his sharp eyes struggling to keep up with the triplechanger's movements. Unfortunately, Astrotrain is easily the most agile opponent he has ever faced. "Whuff!" he exclaims, as the red Warthog is kicked in the legs and sent tumbling end over end. Fortunately it is flying in the sky, and the seasoned pilot is able to pull it out of its spin before it crashes into the street. Gritting his teeth against the g-forces, Charles swoops up towards Astrotrain with his fist drawn back, then smashes it towards the Decepticon's face. "This is no Warthog, Decepticon! NO WARTHOG!"

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> misses Astrotrain with its punch attack.

Mr. Durango makes a diving tackle....for the caseless muffin, and begins devouring it, only to find small shards of glass still embedded within.

"Damnit!" In despair, he chucks the offending baked item, accidentally, at Keith Howard.

Durango succeeds in grasping Keith Howard, throwing him off-balance.

"I coulda told you he was fast if you'd just asked," says Blitzwing, picking himself up and dusting himself off. "Oh hey, Death Proof."


"Now Raindance!" says Blaster, as Raindance is strapped into a little chair, his viewports forced open, a chemical cocktail of drugs forced into his systems. "Watch this video. Know the enemy!"

The video plays. It is a quick succession of images, flicking, Americon taking up the screen, the American flag behind him.


Rhiannon's eyes grow wide in anger and rage at the sight of the American flag on Keith Richards, and with a cry of rage she leaps at him, intent on crushing his ribs with her thighs

Raindance succeeds in grasping Keith Howard, throwing him off-balance.

Astrotrain shifts his stance as he takes a step to one side, putting one foot back as the mecha starts hurtling in towards him again. "I don't even know what the slag a warthog is! Isn't it one of them long necked, spotted things that march around in that big continent with nothing in it?" As the Warthog's fist comes towards his face, his movements are fluid, and well practiced. He may never win any IQ tests, but Astrotrain is a VERY experienced brawler, and hand-to-hand combat is quite often exactly where he wants to be, putting together a deadly combination of size, strength and speed. He chops down on the Warthog's extended arm with one forearm to deflect the punch, even as he ducks low and grabs at it's legs once more, letting the mecha go over his back before he stands up abruptly, moving to HURL the machine and it's pilot into another store front nearby, using it's own momentum in the process.

"Wah-YAAAAH!" he exclaims, trying to do his best Bruce Lee impression.

Astrotrain strikes Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> Robot with Astro-fu Flip.

Grimlock hmms, and looks around...huh, mayhem's stopped! (at least, as far as he can see). "Hr. Me Grimlock find better things to do..." and so, he tromps off down the street!

...only to return a few moments later, again treading on Cyclonus. "Wait. Me Grimlock think stuff is THIS way..." *stomp stomp stomp!*

"Wait, no, me Grimlock was right first time..." *Stomp crunch tromp!*

Thankfully (for Cyclonus), that's the last time.

BOOF goes the muffin as it bounces off of Keith Howard's head, causing him to stagger up to his feet awkwardly as the muffin bursts open, its blueberry scent wafting around the room like a siren's song for the muffin-obsessed. "Once again the flag saves me from OH GOD WHAT YOU ARE DOING!?" He's alarmed as the crazy woman that he vaguely remembers gets him in sort of a leg-lock around his chest. "Many American men do not mind wrestling with American women, but I must protest on account of difficulty breathing!" Grunting, he struggles to walk over to the bike, even while Rhiannon is attached to his chest like an overexcited girlfriend. "Must... reach... dog... Yes, I'm there!" He lowers himself until Rhiannon's head is even with the dog in the basket, who begins to lick at Rhiannon's face and ears.

In a Cyclonus-shaped crater, the Decepticon warlord wheezes and coughs up some oil. He is mostly flattened in various normally-rounded armor plates and peels himself out of the ground. "I... I will kill the Dinobots... I swear this..." He then pitches over, tumbling into a second-floor Curves.

"Yes, I will be sure to ask you next time," Charles responds to Blitzwing, sweat popping out under his mask as he stomps futilely at the leg actuator pedals. "Come /on/, you were built better than this!" he growls. And then he's flying back towards the store front, which bears everal different signs advertising comic books and playing card games. Because somehow collectible card games are still around. The building's facade cracks, and the remaining windows shatter, but the building fortunately does not collapse.

"Ugh," Charles mutters, putting a hand to his head. "I think that cracked my enigmatic tiger mask." The EDC Ace then flips a switch, and the Warthog compacts itself into a hover tank. The streets are JUST wide enough. The main cannon swivels around, tracking Astrotrain, before a smaller cannon mounted just below it fires off a rippling bolt of blue energy.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> folds each pod under itself and unfolds to lay down forming its hovertank mode.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> strikes Astrotrain with its special attack.

"You're thinkin' of a capybara," says Blitzwing helpfully to Astrotrain from somewhere in the background.

The sandpapery tongue of the puppy licking at Rhiannon's head causes her to lose her grip, falling off Americon like Batman falling off a particularly tall building. She hits the ground hard, shaking her fist at him. "You can't stop me buddy, I know your weakness, I'm gonna kick your ovaries out!" With that, she lashes out a foot towards Keith's stomach

You evade Rhiannon Slim-Dhance's grasp attack.

Astrotrain has partially disconnected.

"Haw haw haw! Humans ain't got no business on the same planet as THIS triplechanger!" Astrotrain states smugly, standing up straight and jerking a thumb at his own chest for emphasis. "BZRKT!* Right about the point that the blue bolt of energy hits him and his systems start to short out, sending the triplechanger into random spasms and nonsense gibberish.

"Aaay! Eee! Ayeeee! OOoooh! Yooooou! Sometimes whyyyyyyy!?"

Astrotrain has partially disconnected.

Mr. Durango is now disappeared in the 10-cent bins, legs in the air, chasing after one half of the muffin.

"You are both wrong," Charles replies, Tokyo Drifting the hovertank through an intersection, then using the fallen wall of a building as a ramp. The clunky military vehicle soars majestically into the air, side-mounted rocket panels popping open as it reaches the zenith of its awesome jump.

"What you are thinking of is a GIRAFFE!" he cries, flicking open the red plastic cover of the Special Button on his joystick, then jamming his thumb down on the button. Approximately a hundred little missiles explode out of the red Warthog tank's flanks, all trailing exhaust as they twist and spiral their way towards Astrotrain.

Then, the tank "lands" and swerves back around, so that the front of it is facing Astrotrain's back. Because that's just How It's Done. Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> strikes Astrotrain with I Am Totally Not Ripping Off Macross.

Durango It's Paul Hogan!

No, really, dude looks just like him.

Powell Glyde was standing around picking his nose, but he's done now! He reaches down and picks up his bike, which still lay at his feet, and hoists it over his head. "Since I'm an Autobot, I would say a cheesy one liner involving bikes, but I can't think of anything right now!" So, without any awesome dialogue, he throws the pink and purple bicycle down at Keith's stupid, American head.

Powerglide succeeds in grasping Keith Howard, throwing him off-balance.

Dreadwind soars upward to the Sky above the Central United States.

Dreadwind has left.

Keith Howard puts his hands on his hips and laughs as he is kicked in the stomach, his non-weakness. "HAHA!" he laughs. "I do 100 crunches every day! Your feeble kicks are useless against my abs of iron!" Then an entire bicycle is thrown at him, and that seems to work a lot better, since he slams up against shelves full of carefully painted miniatures (all of which are very spiky). "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Keith grunts as the pewter miniatures poke him relentlessly as they fall down.

A few of them fall into the muffin chunk that Durango is trying to save, burying themselves in its innards with their tiny polearms and chainsaw swords.

Astrotrain is struck, in the back no less! Numerous vapor trails ending in brilliant explosions as they impact against his metal hide, sending him careening forward into a brilliantly growing explosion of smoke and fire that consumes him in an instant, burying him within the rubble of an old parking lot building that comes collapsing around him. Nobody was inside to get hurt, but old Gil's new Sedan just isn't going to be the same ever again. When the conflaguration and deafening noise finally lets off, the crumpled rubble of the building can be seen, and little else.

For a few seconds anyway.

Like the proverbial Frankenstein monster, the triplechanger rises from the rubble, sitting up amidst a crackle and hiss of sparks and superheated metal. His back looks like it's been worked over, but even after absorbing that kind of punishment he's still going. "*cough*...a'right." He mutters, pulling his rifle up and flicking a quick switch on the side. "NO MORE MR NICE TRAIN!" And with that, as he gets to his feet, he braces himself and points the weapon down the street straight at the Hovertank, unleashing a thick blast that kicks his arm back from the sheer recoil.

The hurling glowing blast of destructive power let loose looks nothing short of pure evil.

Astrotrain strikes Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> Tank with Ion Rifle Overload.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is still lying on the floor, feeling pretty dazed as her attack failed. Luckily the bike hits Keith, saving her. "Oooh my hero!" she swoons, before realising that it was /Powerglide/ that saved her. "Oh." she states coldly, as she weakly throws the other half of the muffin to try to get it down Powell's shirt, before falling unconscious

Raindance misses Powell Glyde with her grasp attack.

Mr. Durango cries out, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo" as the muffin is ruined forever. Normally, this is the time where he would become quite irate and do something heroic in Americon's general direction, but, as his player has to leave, he's instead going to use it as his out. He picks up the now-ruined muffin, and runs out of the store, eyes glistening..

Powell Glyde stashes Raindance's body somewhere no one will ever find her in, but only after copping a feel.

A shelf covered in nails and tar and ants and diet pepsi falls on top of Powell's head :(

Raindance succeeds in grasping Powell Glyde, throwing it off-balance.

Keith Howard pumps a fist in the air as all of his assailants either left, fell asleep, or suffered horrible misfortunes. "I am victorious... in America!"

Powell Glyde pumps his fist in the air as nails, tar, ants, and diet pepsi falls on him, "Yes!"

"Hmm, if I were to draw a picture of pure evil, it would probably look like that," Charles muses, just before the blast slams into the hovertank's reinforced superstructure. The EDC logo painted right on the hood of the tank is melted completely, along with the hood itself, revealing the engine within.

"Well crap," Charles curses, slamming his hand down on a red button as klaxons begin to sound inside the cockpit. Fire control foam systems spray into the engine compartment, preventing any further damage.

"You were not nice to begin with!" Charles retorts, driving the red Warthog tank towards Astrotrain and firing off a few small disruptor blasts to keep the opponent on his toes.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> strikes Astrotrain with disruptor.

"Hey," says Blitzwing, having just thought of something. "You didn't customize that warthog with your own money, did you? Because that'd be a damn shame."

"That's the whole point!" Astrotrain yells in the direction of the mecha as it begins to pepper him with low yield shots, which the triplechanger soaks up, lifting one large forearm to protect his face at least. They may be low powered but a shot to the optic would really sting and then some. He holds his rifle back before pointing it again, aiming over his forearm to draw a bead. "Bein nice is for losers! Ya know that saying! Nice guys finish last...cause bad guys are awesome!" Another blast cuts loose from his rifle then, a singular one aimed at the Warthog as he tries to lead his target accordingly.

Astrotrain misses Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> Tank with his Ion Rifle attack.

Charles pulls another Tokyo Drift in the ungainly hovertank, swerving it around a corner just in time to avoid the Ion Rifle assault. He smirks. "I can read you now, Decepticon. This fight... is OVER!"

The hovertank emerges again a block further away, firing a shell from the main cannon. Not the biggest shell Charles has on-hand, but certainly one worth considering. If one had truly excellent vision, one might see that there is something painted on the front of the warhead. It is Tony the Tiger, saying his historical catch phrase.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> misses Astrotrain with its ballistic attack.

Astrotrain is moving again as the shell leaves the barrel. It only takes a fraction of a second for the projectile to reach it's target area, but already the Decepticon triplechanger is on the move, and has vacated the area as the shot tastes only empty air.

Line of sight is broken then for a few precious heartbeats in time, which on the battlefield can equate to an eternity. An eerie silence falls in the wake of Astrotrain's disappearance. Until it is broken by a sudden, familiar sound. That of a transformation, right before Astrotrain surges back onto the scene once more. An entire side of a building explodes as a thirty ton locomotive surges right through it as if it were no obstacle. Plaster and concrete explode in all directions as the huge frame of Astrotrain comes in from the side street he'd run up alongside, looking to T-bone the Warthog's hovertank form and introduce it to his angled and VERY well armored ram prow. "Let's see how that pathetic tin can stands up to a REAL demolition derby! HAW HAW HAW!"

Spinning and shifting parts result in Astotrain's heavy locomotive form taking shape.

Astrotrain strikes Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> Tank with Ram.

"Yeah!" cheers Blitzwing, sitting on the Marriott. "You show 'im how it's done! Stupid meat-creature!"

Cyclonus wakes up, the women of Curves battering his robot head with free weights. "Pfah!" he cries, smashing the building and bringing it down with his bare hands. "Decepticons... status report!"

Charles angrily sucks in his breath as his projectile misses, then opens his mouth to swear when he sees Astrotrain appearing next to him. "Damn! Rookie mistake!" he gasps, just before the train slams into the side of the tank, destroying the left flank rack of missiles. Inside the cockpit, Charles is tossed around like a ragdoll, before slamming his head on the control dash. A crack runs up the center of his mask, and blood seeps out from beneath it. Some trickles into his mouth, and he spits it out irritably.

"You took me by surprise, few can do that!" he responds, flipping his own transformation switch. The robot form of the red Warthog rises, then unslings the massive lance from its shoulder. One hand scrabbles at the train, trying to find a grip. The other swings the lance around, stabbing it towards Astrotrin's side.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> unfolds each pod under itself forming arms and legs, the nose folds down revealing a head which flashes its lone optic.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> strikes Locomotive with Lance Strike.

In a chorus of shifting and spinning parts, Astrotrain's body spins and lifts up into his large robot mode.

Keith Howard walks up to Cyclonus, holding up some of the foil packs of cards that managed to avoid the wrath and Rhiannon and Powell. "I have stolen these valuable cards, my Lord! We can sell them on Ebay for lots of money, or use them to humiliate the humans in a duel!"

"Hah!" Astrotrain exclaims,one hand scrabbling with the smaller robot, as his other produces his OWN sword and moves to intercept the incoming blade!

And promptly, the old metal blade of his own sword shatters and explodes under the stress of impact. Scrapper was right, Astrotrain -really- should have taken better care of that sword. As a result, the mecha's blow manages to sear a line along his left side, causing him to spin away for a moment, a faint tendril of smoke rising form where the weapon made contact with his hide. "NNngh..." Despite it all, he's staring stupidly at the broken edge.

" broke my sword." He states quietly and darkly as he hurls the hilt aside, clattering into the street, his hand now gripping a large, thick lamp post which he uproots with a single motion. "You broke..." And with that, he wrenches around, bringing his makeshift weapon arcing overhead as he seeks to literally crash it over the head of the Warthog in due process. "...MY SWORD!"

Astrotrain misses Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> Robot with his Blow attack.

"I already told you, this fight is already over!" Charles roars in reply, whipping the lance back and gracefully dancing out of the way of Astrotrain's blow. The street, taking the attack instead, caves in completely. The delightful smell of sewage fills the air. Blood begins to drip from Charles' chin down onto his uniform-- which, fortunately, is already red.

"You're all out of moves! I can read you like a book downloaded straight into my ocular implant. All that's left is to finish you off." Charles smirks again, spinning the lance backhand to graze the tip along Astrotrain's back.

Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> strikes Astrotrain with Lance Slash.

"Since when do you guys have ocular implants?" wonders Blitzwing. "I thought you were just juice and slime all the way through."

Blitzwing calls over to Cyclonus, "We're okay over here! I smashed a bunch of stuff and Astrotrain is busy crushing one of the human tank things!"

"Your ignorance of the military is equal to your ignorance of African wildlife," Charles retorts. "If you space robots had any women, your ignorance of pleasing /them/ would be just as pathetic!"

Graze indeed. This time, Astrotrain's recent upgrades to his armor and his internals comes into play as the weapon actually has trouble cutting into his hide. And to think it was Soundwave who did the upgrades too! One has to wonder if he didn't implant a mind control device somewhere for a rainy day...

The weapon actually gets stuck in Astrotrain's back, prompting the Triplechanger to growl as he twists, reaching out to seize the Warthog's forearm in the process. His other hand is still gripping the lamp post, which he abruptly snaps in half by smashing it against the ground, producing a jagged peak at the tip. "...yer still barkin but ya ain't goin home already!" He growls, as he begins to shove the makeshift impalement weapon forward, aiming it right at the Warthog's midriff. "This fight's over alright! Ya ain't got the oomph to take me down!"

Astrotrain misses Warthog Custom Red Tiger <Charles Asgeir> Robot with his Blade attack.

"We DO have women," points out Blitzwing, picking his teeth with a crowbar. "Just not very many."

Charles abruptly frowns as he finds his opponent's hide tougher than anticipated. Abandoning the lance, he arcs backwards up into the air, performing an aerial backflip to escape the stabbing assault. Once there, he takes a moment to re-assess.

"Oomph, indeed," Charles deadpans, activating the ranged weapons systems. The three-barreled gattling cannon comes online and begins to spin, making a high-pitched whine. "I still have some 'oomph' in me, Decepticon."

The cannon fires off a massive barrage of green lasers towards Blitzwing and the ground he's standing on. "This may not finish you, but I'll wear you down yet!"

And to Blitzwing: "Of course there aren't very many. They all died of boredom and lack of satisfaction!"

Keith Howard shakes a fist angrily at Charles' suit. "That's not true! We just don't build too many of them because they're annoying and complain too much!"

"BZZZRKT!" Astrotrain exclaims again as electricity lances through hi sbody in short order, lighting him up like a holiday tree and blowing out a couple of diodes in his lower body. Which promptly causes the armored panel that covers his lower half to fall off. Some would call it a 'codpiece' in other worlds where VERY disturbing things happen between robots. The end result?


With that, Astrotrain's hands immediately snap down, yanking his panel back up into place, smoke still coming from his audials as the electric charge dissipates into the ground. It takes a moment as he ascertain's the situation and whether he can fight AND hold up his robot-tighty whities at the same time.

"...awright. I'm done." And just like that he abruptly turns and starts to walk slowly...and awkwardly in the opposite direction. Yeah that's the secret weapon! Endanger his dignity!

Smoke curls lazily up from the three barrels of the gattling cannon, and the weapon folds down onto the red Warthog's back. Charles keeps the machine hovering in the air, watching Astrotrain's movements for any sign of deception. He squints, behind the mask's opaque lenses, but can see none as yet.

"Your options are surrender or escape, Decepticon. Choose wisely." Charles withdraws the giant handcuffs from subspace again, jangling them seductively. "Come on. I bet a mech like you would just love the kinds of things that go on in space jail!"

Blitzwing winces for a moment then points and laughs uproariously. "We'll get the Constructicons to bolt that back on for ya, come on, let's get outta here."

"Surre...HAW HAW HAW!" Astrotrain starts laughing, and promptly drops his lower panel again, scrambling to pick it up a moment later. "...damn it." And wit hthat, he decides to solve the problem, transforming as he rises into the air! Unfortunately the offending piece goes flying off in the process, as he rises up towards the sky above. At least as a shuttle, one can't see his circuits like this.

No doubt later the medics will wonder as to why Astrotrain REFUSES to transform until he's fully repaired.

Parts spin, components shift and Astrotrain's body grows in size until he is an enormous space shuttle.

Astrotrain retreats from the area swiftly, outdistancing all pursuit and parting shots.

<Decepticon> Scrapper says, "Welcome back, Cyclonus!"

Blitzwing snickers a little. "You're lucky he's discreet!" he calls back to the human in the tank-thing as he launches into the air, transforms and rockets away.

Blitzwing unfolds and reconfigures himself rapidly, wings snapping out and locking into position as he assumes his aerial form.

Blitzwing begins retreating, leaving itself vulnerable to parting shots from Decepticon Shuttle <Astrotrain>.

The red Warthog puts the giant handcuffs back into subspace, and dusts off its hands. "Another job well done," Charles muses, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. Behind him, the fire that Astrotrain started before the battle began continues to rage out of control.

After a moment, Charles notices this.


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