Grand Theft Cliffjumper

Who: Powerglide, Raindance, Cliffjumper, Outrun, Soundwave
IC Year: 2029
Location: EDC HQ Alameda - Earth
TP: Human Nature

A humanized Powerglide and Raindance seek to... take advantage of Cliffjumper's kindness...


Alameda, formerly the site of the Naval Air Station and the associated Marine base, is now home to the newly formed EDC and its massive launching, recovery and repair facilities. The city seems to have adapted to the change rather well. The carriers, cruisers and destroyers formerly tied up alongside the piers have been replaced with hyper-sonic fighter craft, interplanetary interceptors and shuttles of all varieties, but the servicemen never change. The towers and hangars of the EDC shine brightly in the sun.

Powell Glyde rolls his eyes at Sam, "Yeah, okay, that hand thing? Not helping in the least." He leans over and grabs Mr.Mute by the arm to drag him back foreward, "Why yes, talking red car who looks absolutely fan-tas-tic today, that sounds just like us. Am I right, guys?"

Cliffjumper's doors pop open. He looks like a cramped little car but the humans will indeed fit. "Awright, then, hop in!"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is walking along too, when she stops to stare at Cliffjumper. "Cliffjumper you are not allowed to do that anymore, remember what the courts said"

Sam Waverly shakes his head, pointedly staring, and starts walking away from the group.

"Who the blazes are you?" Cliffjumper snorts (sort of, he is a car) at 'Rhiannon Slim-Dhance.' "I'm pickin' up these EDC envoys to take 'em to the /important, classified security meeting/ at Autobot City."

Powell Glyde groans as Rain Briar shows up, "Well, there goes my hopes of getting back to the City.."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance pouts at the car. "I am am important EDC envoy look!" She points at the namebadge on her lapel which says 'Michael Briar'. Then she stares at Sam. "Hey, Gears is getting away!"

Kim Mira is very hesitant to climb in-- however, "You go ahead, Powerglide. Gears and I are gonna have a little chat." She gives Powerglide another one of those little cooing smiles. "I'll meet you there later, OK?" And the deathgrip on Powerglide's arm is released.

Powell Glyde quirks an eyebrow at Kim and her obviously forced (not that he minded) nice-ness, "Yeah, okay, if you say so. Yo, Rain Briar, you comin'?"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance shrugs. "I don't know, I think I might hang out with Gears and fake-Moonracer"

Sam Waverly picks a direction and keeps walking, off toward the Ferry and uptown San-Fran.

Kim Mira picks up the pace to try and catch up with Silent Sam, who is probably not Gears. At least she didn't have to brain Powerglide this time.

Powell Glyde frowns, "Ugh, now I don't know if I should've even left. I'm actually thinkin' about going back to where we were before.."

Sherman 924 Mini <Cliffjumper> idles by the curb. "Uh, okay, I guess the Autobots will just decide 2009's security initiatives without informin' the EDC. Have fun!" He does a three-point turn and drives off.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance makes a gun out of her fingers and points it at Powerglide. "Don't worry my Minibot fri - COLLEAGUE, femmes are like that, they will dump you and run off with Gears at the slightest provocation. It's probably not Moonracer anyway, just Hound pretending to be her. You can hang with me and Cliffjumper!" As she says this, Cliffjumper drives off without her ;_;

Powell Glyde crosses his arms, "Yeah, you're probably right, but at this point I don't really care. Just as long as it's not Foxfire or Slingshot." He turns to step into Cliffjumper, only to lose his balance from there not being anything to step into and falling onto his face in the street,

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance staggers backwards, one foot stepping on Powell's face. "Ugh I stepped on something!" she says. "Powell watch where you put your head!"

Porsche 924 Mini <Cliffjumper> is pulled over in the distance for driving without a driver, and spends the night in jail. :(

Powell Glyde flails around under Rhiannon's foot. "Get off of me, you bitch!" His screams are muffled.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance :(

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance steps off Powerglide's head and wipes her feet. "Look over there in the distance, Cliffjumper is being arrested. I told him he should have got car tax and hid those videos he borrowed off Michael Briar" she says sadly

Powell Glyde stands up and rubs at his bruised face, "It's always sad to see the law catch up with a fellow Minibot.."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance folds her arms. "I dunno Powell my fri- COLLEAGUE. Really I think all the minibots should be in jail, I for one would feel a lot safer."

Powell Glyde slowly turns his head to look at Rhiannon; one of his eyes twitching a bit. All he does is let out a sarcastic 'oops' as he sends a fist towards her face.

Powerglide succeeds in grasping Rhiannon Slim-Dhance, throwing her off-balance.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance staggers backwards clutching her face. "Oh Primus you bastard little Minibot, you're all alike. I'm going to rescue Cliffjumper and then get him to run you over." She starts to march towards the arresting officers. "OFFICERS I AM THE EDC RELEASE THIS CAR TO ME NOW OR I WILL HAVE YOU KILLED LIKE I DID THE KING AND QUEEN OF NORWAY"

You evade Cliffjumper's Glass Gas attack.

The officer attempts to taser Rhiannon, but has a heart attack and dies.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance leans down and starts to strip the officer of his clothes. "Okay Cliffjumper, this didn't happen okay? Where do you normally dump human bodies"

"I dunno," Cliffjumper says, "that's really more of a question Elita One could field."

Powell Glyde doesn't like being alone, so he runs over to Cliffjumper and Rhianna. Hey, she was being kinda' a bitch, so it was okay to punch her. "In a lake, I think."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance starts to strip off, throwing Michael Briar's EDC uniform in the direction of a sleeping hobo, while she puts on the policeman's gear. "Hey!" she exclaims. "Taser!" She points it at Powell as an experiment

Raindance succeeds in grasping Powell Glyde, throwing it off-balance.

"You two are the strangest EDC security envoys I've ever met," Cliffjumper notes. "An' I've met the one they haveta keep in a cage."

Powell Glyde yells in pain because he was fxckin' electrocuted. He falls onto the street, twitching and foaming at the mouth.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance stares down at Powell as she fastens up the belt of the way too large uniform. "Stop having rabies Powerglide, that is the sort of thing I expect from Foxfire, not you." She looks back towards Cliffjumper. "Cliffjumper, take us to our special EDC envoy guest suites in the posh hotel"

Cliffjumper is in car mode. Raindance and Powerglide are in human modes. Cliffjumper has yet to recognize them, as his doors swing open again. "What hotel? The UN cut our budget down again this year. Humans haveta stay on bunk beds in Hot Spot's quarters."

Powell Glyde continues twitching, his nose beginning to bleed now, "Oh God..I think I need medical assistance.."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance kicks Powell with her booted foot, the uniform of the police officer somehow encouraging more violence. "Come on, get up. And Cliffjumper!" She holds up the credit card. "The most /expensive/ hotel I think"

Powell Glyde grabs onto Rhiannon's pants and climbs up her body to stand up, "Oh God..That was horrible. I think that was the worst thing to happen to me as human so far..."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance tasers Powell again as he touches her. "Hey Powerglide, get your own awesome body, I can't help it if yours is broken and rubbish"

Powell Glyde evades your grasp attack.

"Powerglide?" Cliffjumper chuckles. "I know a guy named Powerglide. He's a robot, though. Didn't think humans named each other that."

Powell Glyde leans against Rhiannon, grabbing her shoulder for support, "Stop being a Foxfire for two seconds, for the love of GOD! Let's just get the hell away from this terrible place."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance doesn't look happy at Powerglide touching her again, who knows where his hands have been (half the problem is she knows!) but she shrugs it off. "Well if you stop being such a Sky Lynx. Cliffjumper, take us to the best hotel that is suitable for EDC people like we are!"

Powell Glyde pinches his nose and leans foreward to stop his taser-induced nose bleed. He inhales deeply, and then exhales with a drawn out 'shiiiiiiiit'.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance simply stares at Powell. "You're leaking red stuff, you need that to live"

"'The best hotel that is suitable for EDC people like you are?'" Cliffjumper repeats, doors still open. "Awright, I know just the place. But get that leakin' human fixed before he gets in. Swerve /just/ cleaned my upholstery last week."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance moves to jam a tissue up Powerglide's nose, and leaps into the passenger side seat of Cliffjumper, bouncing up and down. "Hey Cliffjumper, I never realised how *plush* you are

Powell Glyde groans at Rhiannon's 'help' and crawls into the backseat, "Stop hittin' on him, Rain Briar. That's disgusting.."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance pouts as she starts to press all the buttons on Cliffjumper's radio. "I don't even know what that means Powerglide, stop stringing random words together"

Powell Glyde lays down on his stomach, burying his face in his arms, "Whatever. You're even worse with your stupid 'Body Book'. I bet you don't even know what half the stuff you're reading from it even means!"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance puts her feet up on Cliffjumper's dashboard. "What are you talking about Powerglide, I am now the foremost authority on anatomy, shut your..." she opens up the book again "...vulva"

Outrun rolls in at about 150mph, coming from the ferry. Obviously, no one told Outrun about speed limit on Earth...or perhaps he doesn't care. As he arrives in Alameda's parking, he suddenly breaks, his tires scream before he completely stop. "So this is where everyone is..." he mutters from himself. His first week on this new planet and half the faction already managed to turn itself into the local life form...

Powell Glyde actually feels dizzy from his incident with electricity, "Yeah, fine, whatever." And with that he says nothing further.

Doors closing up, Cliffjumper lets out a moan. His radio is tuned to only play conservative talk radio, somehow. "Feet off the dash!" he whines, center console blooping with flashing robot lights as he speaks. "C'mon, what do you think I am, Ironhide, here?!" He's about to pull out when Outrun zooms in. "Whoa! I'm drivin' here!"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance moves her feet to rest them on the glove compartment. "Really Powerglide, stick with me and you'll be fine." She holds up the book again. "This is like, an instruction manual for being a biped. It even tells you how to walk and stuff, its really useful"

Vector WX3 <Outrun> manoeuvres to place himself on Cliffjumper's left side, "Hum...sorry body, didn't notice you there. I'm still visiting the neigbhourhood... I heard that Magnus is in charge and supposed to me here so I thought I would come take a look."

"Magnus is here?" Cliffjumper says to his fellow vehicle. "Huh, I didn't see him around. You'd think I'd notice a huge car carrier, eh? Haw!" Cliffjumper, woefully behind on current events. "I-- hey, wait, can you hold on for a second?" Cliffjumper's pedal hits the floor and then he suddenly breaks, since Human Raindance is not wearing her seatbelt. "FEET! OFF!"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is flung forwards, but is saved by grabbing onto Cliffjumper's gearstick and holding it hard, giving it a yank. "Whew, where did you learn to drive Cliffjumper, NORWAY?" she pouts, as she takes her feet down and starts to go though the glovebox instead.

Vector WX3 <Outrun> executes a perfect u-turn as Cliffjumper brakes, caughing in off guard. "That's what one of the guard told him back at Autobot City. But this looks like one of the local's military installation. I think I'll go back to AC and wait for Magnus there... I don't feel like wandering around ...the local life form may not appreciate."

Powell Glyde is not buckled either and is flung against the back of the front seats at the sudden brake. With a grunt, he falls onto the floor, "What the HELL Ms.PrissyBitch!? Why'd you go and make him do that for!?"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance continues to peer through Cliffjumper's glove compartment, pulling out a map, a box of cigars, some syringes full of Nucleon and other assorted. "I didn't make him do anything Powerglide, he's just an awful driver"

Cliffjumper grunts. The dirty police-issue boots have left marks on his dash. He can /feel/ them. To Outrun, he says, "Well, yeah, you drive a zillion miles per hour, they're gonna send the cops after you."

Powell Glyde pulls himself up and leans between the front two seats so he can get a better look at what's going on up in there, "Yeah, whatever. Hey, are we there yet? Roadtrips are great and everything, but not when I'm stuck with you."

Vector WX3 <Outrun>'s front lights blinks as Outrun expresses his surprise, "Why that?! I didn't attack anyone nor I destroyed anything?.. I event stayed on their roads!""

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance starts to put all the items in the various pockets of her police uniform. "Look Cliffjumper are we there yet, this is...ooh." She looks at a glowing rod in the compartment. "You have a sonic screwdriver!" She grabs it and starts waving it at the dashboard, turning it on with a buzzing noise

Cliffjumper swerves off to the side of the road, and the passenger door swings open. "Awright, lady, get your walkin' shoes on, unless Speedy here wants ta give you a ride."

Outrun glances towards Cliffjumper, "No thanks. No offense but I don't carry unknown people around...perhaps another day?"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance glances to Powerglide. "He's talking to you Powerglide, hop to it"

Cliffjumper transforms into robot mode, expelling everyone from his interior. "You two are the least professional EDC security envoys I ever met, and believe me, I met Michael Briar," he grumps, pointing down at Rhiannon. "You really don't know a lot about ridin' in a senti-- I mean, sapient automobile."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance falls onto the ground, rolling about as she dusts herself up and points at Cliffjumper. "Look buddy, we're top ranking EDC officers /as you well know/ and you have to show us around and take us to a nice hotel, or we'll write up a really MEAN report and get the UN to embargo you AGAIN"

Vector WX3 <Outrun> remains motionless as Cliffjumper transforms but he doesn't lose anything from what's fact he's having a great fun listening to this conversation.

"Pff. The EDC broke offa the UN in 2010, just before Norway's attempted coup of Europe!" Cliffjumper folds his arms. "/Everyone/ knows that!"

"Well that WOULD be true" Rhiannon retorts "if we weren't EDC/UN inspectors, given our remit by Earth-Miltant, who are providing half your budget. You don't want to upset them, or they'll all come back and sit about"

"Aw, crap," Cliffjumper sighs. "Earth-Militant... I knew it was a bad idea borrowin' money from them..."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance nods forcefully. "Yeah, and if you upset them, they'll all come back and talk at you, and we can't pretend they never existed any more, so TRANSFORM and take us to our hotel buddy"

Cliffjumper sighs, transforming back. "Awright, but you're sitting in the back seat, and if you turn on that sonic screwdriver, you're walkin'. Understand?"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance flops back into the seat. "Good boy Cliffjumper, you know who's boss, don't you?" she says, patting the front seat

Porsche 924 Mini <Cliffjumper> just makes an annoyed groan, starting to drive toward a nearby luxury hotel: The Future Red Roof Inn.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance makes humming noises as she pats her knees impatiently. "Its okay Cliffjumper, we'll get Powerglide here to give you a one on one car wash when we get there"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance points out of the window excitedly. "Look look there it is see. I hope you will tell your fellow Autobots about our visit so they know how to best serve us too!"

Vector WX3 <Outrun> has been silent for a moment but he finally gets bored to roll around at the speed a turtle could achieve, "Well.. I'll go back to the base... see ya later." Without adding anything, he turns right at the next intersection and heads towards AC.

Porsche 924 Mini <Cliffjumper> pulls up and swings the doors open. "Yeah, yeah, enjoy, don't lick the nightstand too much."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance did have no intention of licking the nightstand, but now will. "Yeah yeah sure thing Cliffjumper. Now go tell the Autobots I am an important VIP and need to be treated well with lots of gifts"

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