|
Who: Quickswitch, Powerglide, Shadow, Dreadwind, Blueshift, Bumblebee |
|
|
Serling
The mysterious planet Serling - shrouded in fog, giant towers and strange alleyways, it is a spooky place. Eerie music tinkles through the air, be it in a city or on the moors. Oooooh.
The mysterious fog-shrouded planet Serling. Near the capital city lands a Decepticon shuttle, and out of it steps Blueshift. "Right guys!" he announces, to expediate the plot. "This is the mysterious planet Serling. Rumour has it that it is powered by an energy source called the Twilight Room. We need to capture this room and its powers for the glory of Galvatron. Be warned though, that the room is said to cause madness and delusions the closer you get to it, so be careful."
He pauses, pulling out a pair of glasses. "Luckily I have glasses that will protect meeargh!" He drops the glasses, and starts crawling around on the floor looking for the pieces.
"NooO!" he cries, shaking a fist at the heavens. "Nooo! I finally had time!"
Dreadwind trudges from the shuttle mostly ignoring Blueshift and almost certain that he was forced to come along as bait for whatever lurks out there. Dreadwind stares through the fog, the dark swirling mists that seem to envelope the entire planet obscuring even the giant towers of the populated areas, pollution or natural occurance, it doesn't really matter to Dreadwind. He knows deep in his core that where there is darkness and shadow there are always beasts, creatures waiting to tear your body appart, "Oh they won't be delusions they will be real manifestations of the darkness that you project into the world, we won't stand a chance. See, Blueshift is already losing his tenuous grip on reality."
Sub-Orbital Fighter Jet <Quickswitch> soars in point position as he leads the heroic autobots through space to the mysterious planet STERLING. "I want to thank all of you for finding the time to take up this mission of utmost importance on such short notice."
Some glowing parts on the large cubically designed jet-fighter spacecraft fluctuate predictably in sequence with the voice.
"The Decepticons are up to something, fortunately some other associates of mine were able to trace the Decepticon's steps back to the cybertronian libraries and found a mysterious book on the table, not even put away to evade suspicion. It spoke of this planet, none of us had ever heard of before. It seems this may be the source of the liquid hatred they plan to funnel from space into mexico with their space laser..." He yawns. "I apologize for all the extrapolation, but look at that, we're there yet."
There is a frost absence of cheer in that last phrase which echoes hauntingly against the fog.
"I have a wonderful grip on reality Dreadwind!" Blueshift snarls, waving his sword at the plane. And then he stops, seeing a figure in the distance. "There, a native, I shall kill him!" Blueshift races forwards, waving his sword in the air and striking... only to stagger back, his sword projecting from his own chest. "Aaaargh!" he cries. "IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!"
ZOOM! WOOM! KAPOW! Those are the sounds of a jet flying through the cold cold depths of space. Stranger things have been approved. "Wow, Quickswitch. That /is/ a good reason for coming all the way out here."
Suddenly, one of Powerglide's engines explodes and he careens out of control towards the planet surface!
Sub-Orbital Fighter Jet <Quickswitch> pauses for a moment in the suborbital atmosphere of the planet. He makes an imperceptible signal to Powerglide, that only natural born jets can interpret, indicating they should split in two and approach the mechanical life signs they're picking up below from opposite stealthy angles.
"Stick to the plan. Simple, easy, fun." Quickswitch then veers off cutting down on unnecessary power consumption and noise production as he slowly descends toward Blueshift and Dreadwind across hundreds of thousands of feet.
Then a cough as Powerglide explodes and makes for a direct hit. "I think you need to stop using the junkion repair bays, there's good reason for the short lines."
Dreadwind strides into the fog almost completely disappearing into it thanks to his dreary paintjob, a fact that is not lost on him. As he continues a dark form appears not far in front of him. "Ahhh at last, i was wondering how long it would take for you to come for me." Dreadwind halts his advance, "You do know that anything that we try to do is futile, there is only pain and suffering."
A-10 Thunderbolt II <Powerglide> transforms just in time to smack face first against the ground but it's okay because he's too cool to let something like that bother him. "Right. The plan!" Powerglide gets back up on his feet and struts right up to the first native. He blurts out the universal greeting he's coined, "Hey ugly! I'm going to beat you up because you're different than me and probably evil!" The native, in response, hands powerglide a cool five dollars.
"What a twist!" Powerglide exclaims. "I thought he was evil, but he's actually good!"
Powerglide turns into an AWESOME robot.
Blueshift pulls the sword out of his chest. "Thank goodness for that!" he gasps. "It wasn't even a real sword. I guess I'd better... wake up!" Blueshift suddendly finds himself in bed, with a nightcap on. "What an odd dream!" he gasps. "I dreamt I was Blueshift, but instead I am..." he looks in a mirror ".../Redshift/"
Quickswitch will find himself passing a mirror - and that mirror reveals that he is in fact... HITLER!
Meanwhile Powerglide will discover he is Eva Braun :(
And Dreadwind will wake up too. In bed. Next to Blueshift :(
Dreadwind stares at the ceiling and wonders just why he's laid out on a soft sprung bed and why is Redshift alongside him? Logic would dictate that somebody is playing yet another malicious prank on him, most likely Darkwing. "As if things couldn't get any worse the universe has to go and prove that it can, a lot, lot worse."
Sub-Orbital Fighter Jet <Quickswitch> passes the mirror. He has, contrary to some belief, never really looked in one before. They are a contrivance of personal vanity left mostly to humans and he has by all manner of unfortunate happenstance not passed one by in Autobot City.
The Jet transforms from a jet into a ROBOT! ... and of course, Hitler still looks like Hitler, and he has no reason to believe this is him in the glass. He lifts his wrists in a split second. Fires several tiny rapidfire plasmadarts and then roundhouse kicks the panel.
Quickswitch transforms, traditional chuck chuk chuk noise.
Blueshift stares at Dreadwind. "Wait, I combine with you too?" he questions, taking off his little hat and taking a sip of water. But the water is actually poison! "Argh!" he cries, staggering about. "Quick, I have been poisoned!"
He then turns his head and croaks in the direction of Quickswitch. "What is Hitler doing?" And as Quickswitch shatters the mirror, it is revealed to be just glass, and Hitler runs out from behind it. "Free at last!" he cries. "My SON!"
Dreadwind rises from the bed and stares at Blueshift, "Yes all beings are one, sharing the same componants, the same poisoned existance that will ultimately lead to our deaths. Even Hitler and his son struggle against the inevitable, but there is no escape, no silent peace for us we will suffer forever."
Powerglide gasps! He turns to his mirror and his reflection (Eva Braun) and shatters it with a fist, only no one pops out from behind it. He gasps again and pulls out his hand held makeup mirror only to see...
HIS REFLECTION IS STILL EVA BRAUN!
"No!" cries Blueshift, his face now turning his natural blue. "I will not die, it isn't inevitable!" Suddenly Dreadwind to Blueshift appears to turn into Death himself, with a mecha-scythe! The poisoned Decepticon races to Powerglide, grabbing the Minibot and thrusting him towards Dreadwind. "No, don't take me, take Eva Braun instead!"
Quickswitch steadies his arm and begins to crouch. "So Sixshot." He growls, "You're Hitler in the SHADOW MIRROR UNIVERSE but that doesn't make me the mutant zombie son of Eva Braun in this universe by a long shot."
Autobot bluelight-special optics, the K-Mart kind, they narrow, to icy slats. The arm stretches completely. The plasma. She bangs.
She bangs.
Powerglide is thrust at Dreadwind like some sort of sexy prostitute. "EGADS! DECEPTICONS!" he screams, pointing at, well, the Decepticons. "Good thing I brought my gun! The same gun I point at human allies for interogation purposes!" He pulls the trigger but instead of bullets, snakes shoot out.
Dreadwind trudges slowly towards Blueshift, "Run, hide it makes no difference, all must fall and transform to ash, trodden beneath the feet of those still suffering. Stop fighting it Blueshift we must leave now, leave that human her touch is swift death." Dreadwind is pelted by snakes, which writhe and caress the gloomy plane, "Life constricts around us binds our actions till they are all utterly pointless."
"Ja!" Hitler announces. "Ich bin ein Sixchanger dictator!" And with that, he transforms into Mussolini! And then Pol Pot! And then in a dash of political commentary, George Bush. And he has a texas lynching mob with him. "Git on that rope!" he announces, pointing to a gallows that is now beside Quickswitch!
Blueshift struggles with Powerglide. "No, the human thing is shooting snakes! Which is ironic because it seems I am really a mouse!" And then in the place of Blueshift is a gigantic mouse manhandling a now normal Powerglide. "Eeek eek!" exclaims Blueshift as he searches Powerglide's face for cheese.
And as for Dreadwind... a cheery version of him appears, laughing and smiling and eating energon cake. "I am you if you had just gone to college!" he exclaims. "Ho ho ho and I have a hundred femmes"
"HOLY SHIT!
Quickswitch says nothing but rushes toward Powerglide leaping into the air and shrinking, folding, and jet propulsing into the shape of a bad-ass plasma pistol which then utilizes bright blue cold-fusion jet bursts to arc neatly through the scary-verse reality-warping space-particles and into Powerglide's other shootan hand.
"HOLY SHIT!" Powerglide screams as the giant rodent's whiskers tickle his face. It's at that moment that Powerglide comes to a startling conclusion. The only explanation for why this is happening.
"I'M TRIPPING BALLS!"
Blueshift turns out not to be a giant mouse at all! Instead he is a table. A table to which Powerglide is strapped. A doctor stands over Powerglide. "Hmm this trial to discover the effect of A COMPLETE LACK OF DRUGS on minibots is going strangely!" he exclaims
Quickswitch uses jets and magnetic docking plates to subtley manipulate Powerglides fingers into a firm grip on the gun and then pushes it out towards the Bush-entity and his lynch mob, he begins to fire carefully aimed shots for the face and shoulders in the crowd.
All the while speaking loudly and calmly to Powerglide. "You are not, riding the rainbow anaconda..." He mutters, trying to remember other dialect from the wikipedia articles he'd read. "You are with me. The Pistol on your hand. We must take the Decepticons out, stop them once and for all. I'm confident many people will be sad if the asparagus fields of San Miguel Sanchez are flooded with hate."
A few more shots fire and he muses, more quietly, back to his partner. "Where do you think we can get you some Vitamin C?"
Powerglide struggles against his binds. "N-no....No! NO! I...I NEED IT...I NEED MY FIX MAN!" He throws his head from side to side, foam dribbling up over his faceguard, "C'MON MAN! ANYTHING! JUST A HIT! C'MON! ATLEAST GIVE ME SOME OF THAT SPACEJUANA!"
Quickswitch says, "The Vitamin C Powerglide. It's what you need."
Quickswitch says, "Vitamiiiiiiin Seaaaa"
Dreadwind stares at himself or rather the him he could have been had he actually succeeded that time before he glimpsed beyond the veil of reality to the bare naked truth of existance. The him that was reflects but does not define who he is now or who he may yet become but he is still a part of him if only very distantly, "Yes i could have, but the past is set, now is made and the future, the future is bleak."
"Vitamin Seeeeeaaaaaa....." Powerglide echos as his optics turn into butterflies and fly away.
"Of course!" the doctor says to Powerglide. "But first you must put your gun in this box. Because it isn't really a gun, it is in fact, a deadly werewolf!" And indeed, to Powerglide, the Quickswitch-gun looks a bit like a werewolf!
Bizarelly, the texas lynchmob is also nearby, and are shot down by Quickswitch. But they slowly get up again. "It turns out we are actually already dead and you are in hell!" George Bush explains
The happy Dreadwind wraps his arm around his sad counterpart. "But look, here is a TIME machine. AND a magic wishing lamp! You can fix it all!"
OR IS THE FUTURE A SHADE OF YELLOW INSTEAD?!
"Peeeeeeeej!" Bumblebee shouts as he suddenly appears, hands fastened around Powerglide's shoulders. He gives the flying Autobot a rough shake, which is arguably not that hard given how piteously weak he is. "Snap out of it! You've got to come to your senses!" Bumblebee takes one of his hands off Powerglide and brings it back, whapping him across the face with the back of his hand. "You must grasp the bronze ring of sanity and pull yourself up out of this madness!"
From behind Bumblebee there is a groan, and Blueshift staggers back into view, despite being a table the last time we saw him. "How could I have been so stupid..." he gasps, flailing at the Autobot. "Bumblebee was ME FROM THE FUTURE the whole time!"
Quickswitch is relieved as Bumblebee arrives and tries to keep a lid on this. He sees the futility of shooting this crowd. So instead he begins to reason with this unreasonable voice of authority.
"LEt me guess, now you'll tell me this box is a time machine that'll take you back to when everyone was a happy monomachine on Cybertron and it was all very ephemeral and not at all like this. I'll tell you these weird hallucinations broker you know safety and we will destroy them if we must... to escape them." His tone, of course, brokers know compromise, some western-movie whistles dance dramatically in place of the firing of energy.
"W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-WEEERREEEWOOOLLLLFFFF!" Powerglide hollers, dropping the furry, frothing gun to the ground where it shatters into a pile of roaches that scurry up his legs. The roaches begin to wedge themselves into his joints only to explode into confetti when Powerglide moves. "OH MY GOD, I'M TWEAKIN' OUT, GUYS!"
Powerglide gets a slap to the face and awakens from this trippy adventure into his subconcious. "...B-Bee? Are... are you a werewolf too?"
Quickswitch gets thrown to the floor, where he only appears too shatter, and he jetpropulses back into the air. "Bumblebee. Help me apprehend these Decepticons and get out of here."
"No no it is a real time machine!" the happy Dreadwind states. "And then you'll go back in time to fix everything that went wrong, and find out that it can't change or that you caused it yourself and it'll be all ironic and stuff. Isn't that great!" He gives a cheery thumbs up and tries to high-five at the depressed quasi-Powermaster.
Blueshift meanwhile tries to latch onto Bumblebee like a drunkard. "I must merge with you!" he gasps
Quickswitch blows Blueshift a kiss as he approaches the yellow autobot.
Quickswitch transforms, traditional chuck chuk chuk noise.
Combat: Jet-Propelled Laser Pistol <Quickswitch> strikes Blue Spaceship with its Photon Blast attack! [Pulled -5]
Combat: You took 7 damage.
"No!" Bumblebee shouts as he gives Powerglide another shake. "I'm your friend, Bumblebee! Don't you remember? All the good times we've had together? Like when we double-dated and I went with Elita-One and you took out Firestar? How about the time we taught those kids to not run away from home? Or the time you pulled a gun on Jayson Redfield and I talked you out of getting shot at! C'mon, Peej! You've gotta put yourself back together! You're an Autobot, not a junk---"
"AAAAAAH!" Bumblebee shouts horrifically. He is small and Blueshift is more than able to wrap his arms around him. "Help, Peej! Blueshift has me in his grasp and he's going to do the things that Rodimus Prime warned us about!"
Dreadwind is slapped in the face since raising a hand for a high five is a fair amount of effort he reaches for the lamp pointed out by his happy self the self that no longer is but shall always be. Cradling the lamp studying it intently Dreadwind then rubs it three times, "I really wish i hadn't been forced to come here nothing here makes any sense, the veils grow too thickly here."
As Dreadwind wishes, a door appears. It is visible to everyone, looking like an old, wooden door, the frame just floating in the middle of the area. And from out of the door steps a tall alien in a grey suit, with well-groomed black hair. "Welcome!" he booms. "Welcome to SERLING. Consider, five mortals who tried to steal the secrets of the TWILIGHT ROOM, finding themselves STOLEN"
Blueshift also gets shot. This seems to jerk him back to reality somewhat, and he lets go at Bumblebee, pawing in the air. "Dreadwind, that is what we came for, get him!"
"NO! BUMBLEBEE!" Powerglide watches in horror as Blueshift does a spot-on impression of Powerglide at every Autobot party. "I'LL SAVE YOU! JUST....JUST HOLD ON, BUDDY!" Then, in a totally heroic way, Powerglide throws himself ontop of Blueshift.
Blue Spaceship is then crushed by a minibot :(
The spaceship flips up into the handsome form of Blueshift
Dreadwind raises his right arm pointing straight at the alien and his wrist blasters flare to life, "You aren't my friend either, i leave here and am still so very alone." With that he trudges towards the doorway forgetting himself, besides he could never have been that annoyingly cheery.
<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "This fall on KNUJ: Are You Smarter Than A Cat? The game show that pits the brain power of people and bots from all walks of life against the mighty feline mind."
Bumblebee is let go by Blueshift. He falls onto his feet and scrambles away a few feet, turning around to sit on his duff. "Whooh. That was crazy," he observes before glancing to the side, catching the tall alien in a grey suit standing in a doorway. Dreadwind seems to be moving for the doorway, "Uh... guys?" Bumblebee says to both Quickswitch and Powerglide, his voice raising a little louder to catch their attention. "GUYS!? I think.. uh.. we better stop that Decepticon from going through that door!!"
The alien throws out an arm. "No, do not enter. For inside the door is the Twilight Room. None aside from myself may enter. For this room powers our civilisation. Millennia ago, the light of the UNDERBASE flashed in our night sky, and photons from its passing were trapped in this room. But the light can grant many gifts. Power, knowledge, immortality, insanity or death!"
Pinned under Powerglide, Blueshift struggles, throwing a cylindrical object towards Dreadwind. "Quickly Dreadwind!" he hisses. "Shine the torch through the doorway!"
Jet-Propelled Laser Pistol <Quickswitch> transforms into a robot only so he can nod to bumblebee. "Good call." He transforms into a hunting cat, and just looks at Bumblebee, it's the kind of look that's gentle but fills pants with steam sometimes as it should.
With a mechanical yoooawr, the cat leaps up after Dreadwind and the neatly groomed alien. "I think that doorway and everything else around here is about to become condemned."
Quickswitch transforms, traditional chuck chuk chuk noise.
"FIEND!" Powerglide shouts as he grinds his body all over Blueshift. "I will not let you get away! Too long have the other Autobots berated me for being useless, but now....NOW I WILL PROVE THEM WRONG!" He pokes Blueshift in the eye with a finger.
Ironically Powerglide pokes the eye that has an eyepatch with a face on it. The face bites Powerglide's finger!
Bumblebee pulls a laser pistol of his own and runs after Quickswitch in order to catch up to Dreadwind. "All of those gifts sound dangerous to give to a Decepticon! Especially those last two! I don't need another Thunderwing in my lifetime!"
Dreadwind seems to speed up his advance as the alien mentions that death might be beyond the door final release from suffering, peace. However first he is struck by Quickswitch and then the torch hits him too luckily he manages to catch it. Dreadwind struggles on torch in hand dragging himself across the floor to the door, "Life, death, suffering is all that matters and all that is, you may rest now or suffer more, the choice is not yours." Finally Happy Dreadwind picks him up and with a thumbs up throws him at the doorway, "You can do it! You're the best there ever was!"
"Use the torch" cries Blueshift as Powerglide tries to murder him. "It is a reverse torch!" In one of his more inspired moments, he had got a 'Con scientist to put a torch into reverse so that it would suck up light. Namely the precious photons from inside the Twilight Room! Oh no!
Dreadwind sails through the air flung by himself, something he'll have to ponder on later at some point and figure out if that was/is him, his trajectory however seems to be off slightly he's going to hit the doorframe. Bracing himself for the impact he accidentally switches on the torch, damn push button torches.
Quickswitch transforms, traditional chuck chuk chuk noise.
Quickswitch covers his optics with a broad palm. "Is he holding a fleshlight?"
Quickswitch says, "Why is he trying to turn it on?"
"Nooooooooooooooo!" Bumblebee shouts as he lunges after the torch accidentally switched by Dreadwind. For some reason his protest is slow and drawn out, his leaping maneuver along with it.
The anti-torch is pointed into the room, and as it is turned on, its evil light sucking magic works. There is a 'ding' noise as it indicates it has caught a photon! Oh no!
Quickswitch says, "That's good right?"
Dreadwind hears the ding from the torch but unfortunately he's more concerned with the doorway or that fact that he now impacts on it, sliding to the floor, grudgingly he stands, bearer of the unlight and makes to finish entering the doorway, "The end has come..."
Bumblebee lands on the ground, failing to stop Dreadwind in time. Thud. "..ow.." Getting back up to his oversized Volkswagen feet, he dusts himself off and shakes his head at Quickswitch. "I don't think so."
Shadow has left.
Blueshift punches Powerglide in the face, racing towards Dreadwind. "No Dreadwind, don't go into the door! You have so much to live for. The OLYMPICS. You were going to enter the OLYMPICS remember?"
Combat: Blueshift misses Powerglide with his Punch attack!
Quickswitch nods, and raises both arms, blasting one shot for the torch and the other for Dreadwind. "Reconsidering." He opens his eyes wide and allowing a good couple of seconds after the shots are fired, fires a bunch more shots.
<Decepticon> Warlord Scorponok says, "For those of you who consider youselves /loyal/ subjects, who have the /bearings/ to fight alongside Warlord Scorponok, a hunting party is assembling at <Co-Ordinates> on Charr."
Quickswitch says, "Oh yes, the Olympics, I've heard you were testing some new indetectible illegal cyber enhancements for this year?"
<Decepticon> Fleet says, "If it'll keep me from being subjected to more Deth music, certainly."
<Decepticon> Warlord Scorponok says, "/ANY OTHERS/?"
<Decepticon> Shadow says, "I will come along as well, Scorponok."
<Decepticon> Warlord Scorponok says, "Excellent. I await those willing to come at the entrance to a /mighty/ cave."