Who: Lee-Zard, Jetfire, Turntail, Bumblebee, Raindance, Grand Slam, Markdown,
IC Year: 2029
Location: Tunguska
TP: Human Nature



Autobots, and one little Junkion, decide to investigate the crashed alien spacecraft, the source of some of the Transformer population becoming humanized. Also humanized Raindance and Grand Slam merge?


Over a hundred years ago, a strange 'meteor' struck the Tunguska region of Siberia. What it was has been debated endlessly, but a hundred years to the minute after it crashed, suddenly every compass in the region started acting screwy. Radios babble strange poetry, the word 'chute' vanishes from everyone's vocabulary and the sky shines green at night. Thus, some twenty years and change later, the region is deserted, save for pilgrims who believe it to be some sort of religious mecca, and investigators seeking to uncover the truth. The wind is cold and harsh, and the snow never stops coming -- it truly feels like the end of the earth.

Crashed Spaceship

In the wilds of Tunguska lies a crashed spacecraft. Saucershape and smooth, it is buried half in the earth, currently being slowly uncovered by a legion of grey and orange worker Decepticons, smashing away at it with lasers and pulleys. Once there was a door, but now there is a huge jagged hole in one side, where dried engine fluids glow menacingly

Crashed Spaceship

Inside the ship is a mixture of wreckage and pristineness. Whole sections have been devastated, alien computer consoles lying smashed, shards of metal everywhere. Oddly enough there are no bodies, simply piles of armour scattered about and discarded. At the centre of the craft is the main room, a huge circular chamber dominated by a flashing and sparking console that still clings to life. The walls of the chamber are the strangest thing however. They are covered in compartments, each housing a human body. Hundreds upon hundreds of them stand stock still like living dolls, with no sign of brain functions, but all alive nonetheless. And all dressed in period clothes from around the early twentieth century

Turntail turns on the swivelly chair so handily installed inside of Jetfire, rubbing his articulated metal hands together, he smiles to the assembled passengers, "Alright.. looks like we're here."

Lee Zipperman has been amusing himself with an ipod and an old-school gameboy color while the trip has been underway. Now approaching thier destination, he suits up with his goggles, a protective jacket with cool patches, and a few pieces of high-tech gear including a laptop computer. "Yay, time for SCIENCE!"

Jetfire slows down to a 'reasonable' speed or lands, and transforms into his robot mode.

Bumblebee walks out of Jetfire, looking around as the snow seems to continue to fall. "Should I turn into a volkswagon so these guys dont freeze?" He asks the others.

Powell Glyde is too busy shouting vulgar things at Raindance to notice that it's snowing. Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is still on Bumblebee's shoulder, shivering a bit in the cold Russian air. "Hey Powerglide, dare you to stick your tongue on Bumblebee's horn" she says, a twinkle in her eye

Turntail deactivates the metal clamp on his hip as he takes hold of his pistol, his scouting visor straining against the snow as he spies for Decepticon presen.. ah.. "Uh.. I don't really think we'll be out here all that long, Bee. Look." Pointing skyward, the dark looming silohette of the Argosy passes over the crater of Tunguska. Shivering, an dnot from the cold, Turntail looks back toward Jetfire, "Where are we going?"

Powell Glyde sticks his nose up in the air with a 'hmpth', "You DARE me to do something so stupid? You're on!" He tries to stand up on his friend's shoulder, "Hold still, Bee!" the Flight here is fairly quick due to Jetfires rapid speed. He hovers above the crash site and lets everyone hop out before he transforms and lands his feet. He then unfastens his rifle looks looks at the Ship.....and not really hearing Bumblebee.

"All right guys. I don't know what's in let's keep close." He says walking his way towards and into the crashed spaceship.

Lee Zipperman isn't too uncomfortable here, but he does seem a little aprehensive about the presence of the Argosy, and the Decepticons aboard. "Mee, Lee wouldn't mind g-going for a ride with Bumblebee."

Bumlblebee looks up and just seems to gasp. "Oh...That's not good." He says and looks to Jetflight. "What do you want me to do Jetfire, scout ahead?" He asks, not hearing powerglide but he does hold onto him so he does not fall off as he moves. Folding his arms behind his back, the robot's chassis reshapes over the mechanoid and molds into the sleek shape of a Saleen S7.

Saleen S7 Turbo settles in its new form after the familar clicks and whirrs of an Autobot's transformation. The sleek blue shake of the sportscar mode reflecting the white light of the area, making the bold blue hue look dull and even colder. Opening one of the vertical doors, Turntail transmits, "Hop in Lee. Space for one in here."

Jetfire nods to bumblebee. "Yeah...stick close and speak up if you hear anything." he says entering the ship.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance rubs her hands together to keep warm, waiting for Powerglide to lick the horn

Lee Zipperman makes a little gasp of awesomeness, gazing over the shapely car. "Ok, me, Lee will ride in style!" He replies, and hops in for the Turntail express.

Saleen S7 Turbo chuckles, and revs the engine quickly, taking the two of us into the wreckage after the others.

Powell Glyde stands up tall upon Bumblebee's shoulders, "Watch and be amazed!" He sticks his tongue against one of his horns, not finding anything wrong with this."Thee!? Thee!?"

Saleen S7 Turbo screeches into the wreckage as the occupied vehicle swiftly slams on its brakes upon entering, the squeal echoing throughout the depths of the alien vessel. <<Primus..>> He radios, <<This place is.. immense.>> Man, does Turntail not like the look of this place.

Bumblebee nods and enters as well, moving about carefully. Despite having to cart two humans, he seems to be able to move about carefully, looking about. "Dont see anything, no Decepticons or anything, like this place was deserted."

Powell Glyde goes to pull his tongue off Bumblebee's horn, only to find that it's stuck. Who woulda' seen THAT coming? ):

Jetfire looks to Turntial as he enters....then he starts looking around. "I didn't pay much attention last time because I was too worried about my friends." He says starting to walk over towards the control panels and looks at all of the controls. "hmmm....."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance moves to hug Bumblebee's head. Aaaw does she love him? It sure looks that way, as she says "Oh Bumblebee you are wonderful!" But at the same time she uses her body to shake Bumblebee's head, to try to make Powerglide fall off with his tongue still stuck

Lee Zipperman gets nice and comfortable in Turntail's driver's seat, and gives a sad little look at the radio in the dash. He sniffles just once, and then boots up his computer. "Me, Lee is bringing up available data on the the original incident. Me wonder if me can get into this ship's computer?"

Saleen S7 Turbo starts itself up again with a gentle rumble of its engine. Cruising across the wreckage-littered floor, the sportscar navigates through the bodies toward a darker corner. "I wonder.. has this place been thoroughly searched.. like.. every inch of the place?" As he transmits this, the Saleen's high intensity headlights activate; lighting up the darkness that lingers around the vessel. I wonder if there'll be anything of use?

Jetfire looks over towards Lee. "Let's not get into the computer just yet. it might spark a second incident. Let's wait until we find out everything we can first." He says before starting to look around for anything that might change them....of course he notices the empty cylinders.

Powell Glyde flails his arms around as he begins to lose his footing. "No! Thtop!" He slips and falls off Bumblebee's shoulder, his tongue ripping off the horn in the most painful way possible. Infact, pieces of his tongue were probably still there. He careens towards the ground. Oh no! Can Bumblebee save him!?

Bumblebee does save him! He catches him and looks to Raindance. "Hey, now cut it off, we are trying to find a way to get you guys back to normal." He says as he helps Powerglide back onto his shoulder.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance looks huffy as Powerglide is rescued. "You know, what if we don't WANT to go back to normal? I think its perfectly good having limbs and a head, thank you very much!" She crosses her arms, wobbling a bit on the minibot's shoulder. "What about what *I* want for once?"

"Yeah!" Yeahs Graham Slim-Dance, stepping mysteriously out of his sister's shadow. "In fact, I've got FIVE limbs, which is one more than Raindance. I have even MORE to lose.

Powell Glyde is caught in Bumblebee's hands! He kinda wishes he fell on the ground and broke something though, you know, so the pain of having his spine bent would distract him from the pain from his bleeding tongue. He sniffles a bit as he's placed back on the shoulder.

"Humans dont live as long as we do. In one hundred years, a human is decayed to the point beyond repair. Us, we shrug it off." Bumblebee explains to the others as he looks around. "I dont see anything around here."

"I didn't want to tell you" Graham replies. "But I am a ninja now." Actually, he just scampered up Bumblebee's shoulder while no-one was looking.

Jetfire makes his way further through the ship....of course he's taking point and making sure everyone is perfectly safe as they go. "Can any of you get a record of where the last group went?"

Lee Zipperman pulls out a device he normally uses to scan Transformers for injuries,and hooks it up to his computer. He hangs out the window, taking a few rudimentary scans of the technology in the area, recording the data for future analysis. "Me, Lee miss being able to download terabits into my memory, but at least me can still take scans and save them for later." Lee looks out at Raindance, and frowns. Being human sure is fun, but he misses his robogecko body already. "The details on the previous events at this site are sketchy, at best... Nobody drew a map the first time around."

Powell Glyde snuggles up against Bumblebee's head, "Ugggh, I'm bored. I'm hungry. I want to go home. This is dumb, why'd you make us come here, Jerkfire?"

"You're right" admits Graham Slim-Dhance. "It's actually an aerial, not a limb. I'm just jealous of your etheric beam detectors.. because honestly, my aerial just seems to be an etheric beam detector detector. I'm not sure what good that is." Lee's scanner manages to pick up some technological elements, but many of the systems on the ship are very damaged, or in a terrible state of repair

Saleen S7 Turbo accelerates past Jetfire with Lee enjoying the warm leather interior whilst the others suffer on Bumblebee's shoulders, the sports car's high intensity light beams lighting up the darkened halls of the ship's corridors as his sensors sweep the area, <<Does anybody have the slightest idea what we migth even be looking for?>>

"If I put these guys down, I can scout on ahead further." Bumblebee says to Jetfire. "Perhaps I can find the main controls of the ship and see if we can get it to work." He says with a shrug.

Jetfire says, "Go ahead, Bumblebee. As far as I'm concerned, Powerglide can walk home. Nobody asked him to come and he's useless." Not a time for tact as far as Jetfire's concerned. "Got room for more Turntail?""

Lee Zipperman tsk tsks. "The little green men who built this jefferson starship should hire some Junkions to fix the place up a bit. Or at least get an interior decorator to hang a few curtains... Everything me, Lee-Zard cna pick up is ready for the great garage sale in the sky."

Bumblebee nods and begins to set the others down so he can do some sneaking. Once the other humans are down, he begins to move on ahead. For being a fifteen foot yellow robot, he tends to sneak fairly good. He is now...SOLID BEE!

"Yeah Powerglide, you're useless" snerks Rhiannon, sticking out her tongue at him. Then she rolls her eyes at Jetfire's words. "Uuuugh, we all went to the central chamber, its really huge and full of human bodies, you can't miss it"

"Hey!" Graham complains as Bumblebee puts him down. "That's just rude. Raindance, while I love my new legs, I don't want to walk any more. We need to merge. Crouch down so I can sit on your shoulders."

The interior of the Saleen S7 was designed to be both luxurious and functional. With its leather furnishings and wide leg space, its double boots and powerful engine, it was very much a man's car. One man's car. It's a one-seater. But that's never stopped anyone before, <<Well.. uh, that depends. Does Lee mind sharing? Or do the other meaties fancy curling up in the trunk?>>

Powell Glyde groans as he's placed on his feet. He shakes a fist at Jet-JERKfire, "Hey! What the hell, man!? I am very useful! I would go on and list how, but I'm afraid it would BLOW YOUR MIND!"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance starts to grumble as she crouches down. "This sucks, can't I be the torso this time? I'd make a great torso, I'd put even Sky Lynx McKeacepeeker PHD to shame..."

Jetfire sighs. "Powerglide, either shut up, or leave." he says before looking to Raindance. 'Central Chamber, huh?" he then turns to Bumblebee. "Go on ahead. if you find it, stay out of it till we get there."

Bumblebee nods and goes on ahead, disappearing into the darkness. He moves about very stealthly, being the super spy he is. GO SOLID BEE! <.<

"No." Graham Slim-Dhance replies, swinging his legs over Rhiannon's shoulders and sitting down. "I told you last night before, I'm not a bottom."

"Me, Lee is only small anyways. Mecan sit on somebot's lap if me had to." He says, looking over his basic scans. "So me thinks we should head to the scene of the crime, in the central area of the ship. There weren't any big meanies like in ALIEN, were thee, Raindancey?"

Powell Glyde just stands there with his mouth open, staring at Jetfire. What a jerk! "Fine! I'll go outside and die in the cold because I'm made of meat. How would you like THAT, huh!?"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance stands up, straining, teeth clenched. "Nnnnn, you are so heavy Grand Slam, I..." she staggers about a bit more. "Seriously were you eating lead again?"

Meanwhile, what will Bumblebee find in the darkness but... the corridor to the central chamber, which opens up as previously described

<Autobot> Bumblebee says, "I got a corridor, leading into the central chamber. Want me to go in?"" <Autobot> Jetfire says, "Wait'll we get there, Bee." <Autobot> Lee-Zard says, "no nasty aliens around?"

Jetfire tromps on head, completely ignoring Powerglide....hoping he'll shut up. And hopefully...he comes upon Bumblebee soon.

Saleen S7 Turbo pulls away to the side of the corridor, calling out to Powell, <<Alrigth stop your moanng, jump in!>> Does the door open? Nah, with a click and a whirr, the rear trunk opens up, <<Nice and warm.>>

Graham Slim-Dhance waves his arms around to keep balance. "Look, that was a mistake, I didn't know humans ate /meat/...ugh.. I mean, we...wh-whoah! ..we don't eat metal, so..Watch out for that pillar!"

Bumblebee peeks his head in to look around the room but he doesnt step into it, waiting at the doorway for Jetfire.

That isn't a pillar, but something similar, it is Powerglide, as the mighty gestalt nearly crashes into the annoying minibot. "Uuuugh watch where you're moping Powerglide!" Rhiannon shouts as she completely fails to go in anything resembling a straight line, walking like a drunken hobo ant towards Bumblebee

Powell Glyde watches the two humanized cassettes try to combine, "Is Grand Slam expressing dominance? What's going on?" He watches as the 'mighty gestalt' marches on past him, because he is so strong and powerful and fast that he can evade anything Raindance throws at him. Actually, it's mostly luck, but whatever.

Jetfire comes up behind Bumblebee shortly after and looks around the room. "Hmmm...this must be the central chamber. You see anything that might be some sort of emitter, Bumblebee?"

What is in the central room? Save for the capsules mostly now empty of bodies around the walls, there is the central computer, now fizzing and broken, damaged by gunshots and age, only one of the panels working, the rest looking very damaged indeed. Monitor screens around the room also look in a state of mostly disrepair, damaged from the crash, age, or the recent battle

Bumblebee shakes his head. "I didnt get a good enough look. You should let me go in first. This way you guys can watch what happens." He says, watching Jetfire. "You are our ride back, we cant afford you becoming human." He says as he looks up to Jetfire.

"We have merged, you idiot!" Graham says as the duo stagger past Powerglide. "Also, I am picking up the presence of etheric beam detectors in the area." He looks around the room, stil waving his arms. "Yeah, this totally looks familar. Smaller than I remember though."

Saleen S7 Turbo closes the trunk hatch, <<Alright, suit yourself then.>> Before powering off down the corridor after Jetfire. With the rumble of his engine echoing throughout the ship, it is evident that the vessel's walls are not entirely solid. With rust, dirt and snow falling from the metal corridors, th sportscar pulls over beside the Central Chamber, unsealing the driver's door with a hiss of hydraulics, <<Out you get, Lee. Time to look properly.>>

Lee Zipperman dumps some of the previous data to an external storage deck, for eventual upload to Teletraan. Pity he doesn't have the ability to store massive amounts of data anymore, silly wetware. He gives the soft, comfortable leather seating one more touch before hopping out. "Thankies for the lift! Look me up next time you need a tune-up!" He says with a grin. Lee stays close, though. He's not really the brave hero type.

With a series of clicks and whirrs, the car's chassis slides and molds into a new shape as a robot rises up from the sportscar.

Powell Glyde begins to pick his nose. That is all ):

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is the brave hero type though. The mighty gestalt staggers into the room as she lets go of holding onto one of Grand Slam's legs to point out a melted, charred box with a button on it. "Yeah, that's what they pressed to make it all happen guys, the button!" Now however, it is a mass of wires all fuzed together, into one lump

Bumblebee leans down to pick up Lee Zipperman. "Come with me. I will protect you." He says as he takes the small being into the room, keeping him on his shoulder as he looks about, heading to the workable console. "Raindance, Grand slam, perhaps it would be best if you guys wait with Jetfire." He says, bringing Lee Zipperman to the console.

Graham Slim-Dhance is perched precariously enough on Rhiannon's shoulders as it is, so her letting go of one of his legs isn't the best of ideas. "Whup!" he says as he slips backwards, threatening as he does so to bring both of them to the ground.

Turntail rises up from the sleek shape of the Saleen Twin Turbo sports car with the familar set of sounds that follow transformation. Holding his black pistol at his side, Turntail lingers back somewhat from Jetfire and Bumblebee. Funny Lee should say that, Turntail's nto exactly the brave type either. Not that he'll let anyone know that, but nevermind. Touching a finger to his helm the red scouting visor slides down over his optics as the blue 'Bot peers in toward the Central Chamber. "Place looks worse than Autobot City after Megatron popped in for lunch.."

Lee Zipperman takes a long look at the central computer, taking some scans of the room as he is scooped up by Bumblebee. Lee has lots of experienceriding around of Autobot shoulders, so he's quite comfortable. His legendary climbing skills lets him keep a good balance, even without his trademakred sticky toes. "Can you bring me, Lee-Zard closer to the central computer pweeze?" He asks, getting his computer ready again for some heavy-duty computing.

Bumblebee nods and moves to the central computer, kneeling down if need be so he can get Lee-zard as close to the console as possible.

Turntail holds at the entrance to the central room as he holds his hand against his red visor, glimmering as it tracks and scans across the many broken down features of the room. To Jetfire, he speaks, "Where are the Transformer bodies..? I figured they'd of been left here.."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance is left standing as Grand Slam falls, and she shrugs, walking away from him as if he were a discarded McDonalds wrapper. "Hmph, the least you could have done is fall on Powerglide!" she moans

Lee Zipperman glances down at the battered computer, which has definatly seen better days, but still seems to have at least one component undamaged enough to still function. He turns to peer at Jetfire, who has taken a leading role in the expedition. "What Jetfire think? Should me, Lee-Zard try to access the main computer? It might be only way to figure out how to reverse the transfer process."

Powell Glyde wouldn't mind having a McDonalds wrapper right now. Atleast he could lick it to pass the time. "Shut up, Raindance. You're such a jerk."

Jetfire keeps a hold of his rifle. "I don't know. that's why we're here." he then looks to Lee-zard. "bee? You want to try too?"

Turntail deactivates his visor as he looks toward Jetfire properly, "If anyone's gonna mess around with that computer.. we should pull out." A glance in Bumblebee's direction, "All of us who still have our bodies, anyway." Graham Slim-Dhance gets up, rubbing his sore rear. "Why do you complain so much?" he grouses, wandering over to poke randomly at some of the fused components. "Do your limbs hurt? You never complained this much when you didn't have them." But just then Powerglide sticks his big stupid nose in. "Hey, back off Powerglide, you're just jealous that whateverhername is isn't here to do disgusting biological things to you now that you're finally human."

Jetfire nods to Turntail. "Nobody touches anything unless those of us that still our bodies are either out of the ship or we know what we're doing. K, Lee?" He then actually steps into the room....tentatively.

"It turned out" says Rhiannon "that fake Moonracer was actually /Hound/ and now Powerglide is just a little bit gutted and wanting to kill himself." She glances over some of the dead circuitry too and gives it a kick. "Well Grand Slam, at least as a tank, your gun barrel was bigger"

Powell Glyde throws his arms in the air, "That's EXACTLY why I'm upset! Also, YOU back off! Your brother..sister...thing has been a really terrible person to me ever since this happened! In fact, I have reason to believe that SHE'S the one who vandalized my house-box!"

"Look, it's a crude heat sensor as well, okay? So when it gets cold, I.. well Powerglide, I think it was Decepticons, stop being so slanderous. And get a real closet to live in like me." Says Graham.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance tucks her marker pen back into her jeans. "Yeah Powerglide you are made of lies, you are Lie-King" Turntail holds at the door still, resthing his hands on his hips as he leans his hea dmodule in; his optics looking from left to rigth as he examines the contents of the room.

"If it can change everyone back, then I am willing to try it. We got to find a way to reverse this." Bumblebee says to Jetfire as he looks to Lee-zard. "Do it when Jetfire and Turntail is out of the ship." He says to the little genius.

Lee Zipperman clambers down from Bumblebee's shoulders, and looks back at Turntail. "That might be a wise decision, considering what happened here /last time/." He says, pondering the alien technology that surrounds him. "Me, Lee-Zard will leave the compoopers alone, for now." Instead, Lee-Zard skips over to the capsules along the room's perimeter, whipping out his scanner like a gunslinger. "Me will see what me can finds from scanning these. Me wonder whether the bodies were just stored here, or if they were 'made' here?"

Jetfire nods quietly. "All right." he then gives Lee a Radio. "Radio me when you've gotten it working." He says before looking to Bee and Turntail. 'Let's go."

Were the bodies stored or made here? There's certainly nothing in each compartment to suggest a genetic growth bank, simply a storage place for a body, together with systems to keep them alive, and a complex wiring system near the head, most of them now burnt out

"I want to stay in here and help Lee-zard. There must be more I can do here." Bumblebee says to Jetfire. "I am not afraid to become a human, most of my friends are humans, especially moreso now."

Turntail holds in his instinct to cheer and laugh, instead putting on a solemn face and nodding. "If your sure Bumblebee.. you know there might never be a cure, right?"

Jetfire shakes his head. "You're not staying in here, Bumblebee. I have human friends too, but right're of more use to them as you are. Let's go."

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance slinks up behind Lee, peering over his shoulder. "Whatcha doin'?" she asks innocently, fighting the urge to poke some important components

"All I do is move around and keep track of humanized decepticons. Perhaps as a human I can infiltrate their ranks." Bumblebee says but when Jetfire speaks up, he sighs. "Alright, fine."

Lee Zipperman takes some scans, and even a few digital photographs of the capsules. "Me is taking a look at these capsules, 'cause me might not ever get another chance. These capsules have fairly basic life support, along with highly advanced interface technology, presumably which was used to transfer our neural patterns into the bodies. There no be signs of any machinery which would be capable of making the bodies, so they clearly came from elsewhere. Me hope the scans would be enough for somebot like Perceptor to build one, if we need it. These are broken."

Jetfire nods quietly. "Come on guys." he then looks to Lee. "We'll signal you when we get out, Lee."

Bumblebee goes to follow Jetfire.

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance stands about, whistling. "So uh, what are you actually doing now? You gonna blow us all up, cos I have to say..." she wriggles her hands. "I kinda like being me..."

Lee Zipperman waves after Jetfire, Turntail, and the reluctant Bumblebee. "Me will be in touch, pweeze don't get eated by space invaders!"

Lee Zipperman scampers back over to the central computer, looking it over cautiously. No more big Autobots to look out for him, but his curiosity is getting a lead on his courage right now. "Me not want to blow anything up... But me do want to get inside this computer, and see if me can access it's databanks. Gots to find out how they did the ol' switcharoo, and where our original bod's have gone'd to..." He says, laying out his tools and various gear. "And most importantly, find out WHY."

Lee may not have a big Autobot to look after him, but he does have a small one. Rhiannon peers over Lee's shoulder, grabbing for a tool in curiousity. "Well we all got instructions to go kill people so I guess there was a degree of..." she pauses, finding the right word ".../skullduggery/ involved...."

"Me, Lee not in the businees of killing people, eww. Me here to FIIX people. And right now, me want to fix us'es who got turned into people." He replies, and hooks his laptop computer into the one funtioning panel in the console. "Cross your fingers!" He says, hoping for the best, while trying to access the alien computer system. go go gadget 85 technical!

*Whoomph* As Lee hooks in the laptop, some of the systems twinkle to life, a sole monitor flickering on, with a picture of the Earth from space and the date, 1908. A picture of Kaiser Willheim II appears in the corner, along with data in an alien script

"Woo, jackpot!" Lee, in his body of a seven year old child, jumps for joy. "OK! We've got... Something. Earf. 1908?" He takes a photo just in case his laptop melts, making sure to capture the alien script in full. "Wow, me was kinda afraid it would not work. Downloading info... Running basic translation algorithms. Who is Willheim II?? Hitting up wikipedia!" Rhiannon Slim-Dhance stares at the picture. "A guy with AWESOME fashion sense!"

The screen continues to spew out data, mostly about 1908 poltical structure and images of other world leaders, such as Teddy Roosevelt and Tsar Nicholas II, a stream of maps and images and transcripts of early radio broadcasts that had left the atmosphere and gone into space, and... then the monitor flickers and the console fizzles again

"Hmm, more data, Me got some picture of Teddy Roosevelt and Tsar Nicholas II... Transscripts of old radio broadcasts..." More data comes through, and the screen dies... But Lee is too busy thinking, you can practically hear the gears turning. "Aha! Me, Lee know what this is!" He turns excitedly to Raindance. "Deh aliens heard old broadcasts from earth, just like us Junkions did! THey followed the signal source to Earth, and the brain transfer stuff was to put dem aliens into the bodies, or duplicated bodies, of the world leaders! Holy invasion of he body snatchers, Batman!"

<Autobot> Lee-Zard says, "Holy invasion of the body snatchers, Batman!"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance puts her hands in her pockets staring at Lee as if the words are filtering in one ear and out the other. "Oh. Right. So they're Junkions eh?" she says, a bit disinterested because she rather likes her new body. "So uh, where did they put the actual Transformer bodies, Mr Smarty. Did they just zap them with their space radiation?" You paged Markdown with 'Jetfire flew us here. We checked out the ship, then I wantd to play with the computer. The non-humanized 'bots went outside so they didn't get humanized by me farting with the computer'

Mark Dowell frowns. "Do we have any idea what these aliens are supposed to look like? Were they mechanical, like us? I mean, like how we *were*?"

You receive a radio message from Jetfire: How's it going, lee?

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance sighs like Lee asked her to pass something horrifically heavy and complex, and slaps the drill into his little hand. "Okay, but could we 'lose' my body please. And uh, Powerglide's too, if you manage to find it. Or perhaps just main it a bit..." She trails off in thoughts.

What Lee will find inside the console is fragments of a very complex subspace device, but which is now totally burnt out and a mere shell of what it was

"There still be lots of data left to analyze, stuff in an alien language that me have not yet deciphered... Me hopes with more computing power in Autobot City, me can crack the language barrier." He replies to Mark, who was HERE THE WHOLE TIME. He takes the drill, using it to delve deeper into the guts of the computer system. He crawls in up to his hips, before he spots something unexpected: a subspace system, even more advanced than a size-shifting transformer's. "Very peculiar... But elementary to deduce."

You send a radio message to Jetfire: Me is getting some good info from the computer Mr. Jetfire! Too much to tell over the radio!

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance sits on the console, swinging her legs about, smacking her feet onto the metal looking quite bored. "I'm sure this is all very interesting Lee, but I have places to be, people to see, Powerglides to hit and terrorists to arrest. Being a biped is hard work!"

Mark Dowell frowns. "So we just need to figure out their language and we're set." Glancing quizzically at Rhiannon, Mark says, "Uh, don't you WANT your old body back? I mean, you can fly, and, well..." He struggles for words. "Maybe you can't walk on your own, but you can if you merge with Grand Slam!"

Jetfire trots his way back into the ship and looks towards Lee. "What all do you have?"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance makes a face like someone fed her a pot noodle. "Ugh. Ugh. Seriously, ugh. You've seen him. You've seen his horrible hygiene in public, imagine what its like behind closed doors? And that voice, droning on and on and on and on..."

"The whole thing is like a burnt out toaster oven." Lee says as he backs out of the computer. "Me not think we'll get much more out of this computer... and we might be pushing our luck a bit, with Decepticons about in the Argosy." Lee makes a dismissing motion to Markdown, and a 'leave it alone' look, before turning to Jetfire. "Me, Lee think we should bugger out with the getting is good. Me will make a report when me gets back."

Mark Dowell STARES at Rhiannon. "No, no! I didn't mean merge with him while you're human! I absolutely didn't mean that! I... argh, I meant while you're robots." Then, after he finishes his rant, he nods at Lee-Zard. "Huh? Oh, ok, you're right, we don't want to hang around here for too long."

Jetfire nods quietly. "good idea. Can I see that computer in the meantime?"

Rhiannon Slim-Dhance stares at Mark coldly. "That's... what I meant. Humans can't merge, what are you, insane?"

Mark Dowell begins to walk out, wildly gesticulating. "Then why would his hygiene bother you when he's a robot!? It's not like he's Blot or something."

Lee Zipperman begins packing up his gear. "Be my guest, Mr. Jetfire! It's not in very gopod shape, though." Lee replies, and starts looking about the room again before they go.

Bumblebee walks in and looks about. "We better hurry, Those decepticons probably already know we are here." He sayus as he comes in.

Jetfire smirks at Bumblebee. "if they want Galvatron back....they'll let us go. Period." he says before making his way out. holding his hand out for the computer.

On the console, after the tampering, another light starts to flash briefly, as a burst of garbled static is automatically transmitted

Jetfire blinks as he looks back.....but then figures that COULD be the initiation sequence....he RUNS, grabbing Bee on the way out of the room!

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "I miss being a fox..."

Lee Zipperman passes up his little laptop for the massive Jetfire. "It's Cybertronain tech, just tiny for little lizards. You should be able to interface with it just fine, Mr. Jetfire." Lee says, then glances back, in time to see the console activate again. "Uh-oh..." Lee says, having seen many, many sci-fi movies. "We'd bette get going 'bots!" He shouts, and sprints for the exit.


<Autobot> Lee-Zard says, "Me not HAVE any armor!"

As everyone runs away from the scary flashing LED... the flashing stops, as soon as it began and the console falls quiet again

Jetfire sloooooow-peeks around the corner.

Mark Dowell doesn't stop walking out. His expression is a bit more strained, however...

Bumblebee is grabbed and when Jetfire stops, he moves to peek into the room and walk into the central room and watches it. "That was it?" He asks, watching everything around the room.

Lee Zipperman sighs. "It was most probaly a communication being sent after me activated he console. Maybe me went too deep, or tripped a security subroutine. It's not going to EXPLODE, but it might attract unwanted attention? Me, Lee-Zard would very much like to go now."

Jetfire looks to Lee and nods. "Next time don't say Oh no." he says before heading back out of the ship. "Let me hang onto that computer and I'll sort things out overnight."

============================ Autobot =============================

Message: 3/23 Posted Author Alien Ship Data Fri Jun 06 Raindance


After a wacky little animation involving an Autobot logo and a yellow smiling Junkion logo having a crazy adventure together, a little boy, about seven years old, appears on screen. He fixes his glasses.

"Hihi all! Me be Lee-Zard, even though me now look like a Harry Potter or sumthing. BUT! Me have big news! Me went with Jetfire and Bumblebee and Raindance and Powerglide and Turntail and we's checked out the crashed spaceship in Russia."

Some graphics, nicluding photos of earth leaders from the early 1900's, including Willheim II , Teddy Roosevelt and Tsar Nicholas II are included, along with diagrams, transcripots of early radio signals broadcasted from Earth, and pages of alien text.

"Me, Lee-Zard managed to copy some data from the alien ship's computer! Me will need help translating the alien text, but the gist of it comes through pretty clear: The aliens heard early Earth broadcasts just like us Junkions did! but only dey's wuz evil, and wanted to take over da earfs! So they came here with thier spaceship, which is full of human bodies with no brain activity... empty shells. THey were gunna take over the world by putting themselves into human bodies, but they crashed."

"Me, Lee-Zard also found traces of a very complex subspace drive system, which was totally FUBAR'd, but ME think it was the subspace thing that zapped our robot bodies away after our neural patterns were transferred. Me not know if our bodies were sent somewhere, like a spacebridge, or stored somewhere, like when me, Lee-Zard transform into a cassette. One more thing! Alien ship be full of empty armor? Maybe the aliens ALREADY moved thier minds into human bodies?"

To clarify: Aliens wanted to take over world in 1908; Aliens have human cloned bodies with no brainwaves; Aliens moved our neural pattern into deh bodies; Our old bodies whisked away via subspace; Aliens may already be in human disguises?

All data uploaded to Teletran, please contact me, Lee-Zard for more details!


Some questions answered, many more remain! What does the contents of the computer, written in alien language, say? Where are the Transformer's bodies? Subspace is involved, somehow. What is the fate of the Aliens who built the ship? DUN DUN DUNNNN

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